I am turning into a Misogynist.

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I do not think, that the average Aspie wants to act as a control freak. But in many posts and threads I found tendencies, that see woman like a thing. My english is bad, so I dont mean it in the bad way like "You are a thing." but this typical Aspie way to find general rules and orders for every situations. So its seems to me, like we like to have rules and orders in the way of repetitive doing, we also like to do that when it comes to social contact.

I often read posts, where people describe situations (!) and then ask how they shall behave right to reach their goal. And for me in this is the first failure: Because it doesnt depend on the situation but on the feelings of the opposite person towards that situation. And you often find simply no description of this much more important part, what they think that the person they are talking about seems to feel in that situations, instead you get a description of situations.

I dont want to say, that this would mean that these Aspies wouldnt respect their opposites. They are trying much effort to find the rule and order for acting in situation xyz, so if you wouldnt like someone you wouldnt put much effort in it. But by doing so, they simply lack at the reality, that there are no rules to people, sure there are similarities and average characteristics, but you cant relie on that, when acting, you have to check first which kind of person is in front of you, and if he/she is acting according to standard NT rules be happy, but first you have to find out, by being empathic against that person.

So by talking about "control freaks" it must not mean automatic the father-complex guy but these Aspie type, that is blind to the emotions of the opposite and instead concentrate on finding the technical rules of its opposite, also can act as a control freak when getting frustrated, that his opposite doesnt act as it should be according to his manual. So as example: "Let me tell you the technical description of a situation that occured to me. The room had this and that measures, the temperature was this and that degrees, the organic lifeforms in the rooms moved these followings muscles of their body in the following order. According to my checklists I interpreted this as technical situations 501-B, and according to my lists the correct respond to technical situation 501-B. would be respond 45-Z9. So according to my situations manual I acted as it is in respond 45-Z9 is described, but got another result than the one I should get according to the manual. Can someone tell me which technical detail I forgot, so that I know according to the technical parameters which situation protocol I am expected to carry out from my opposite."

"I have no tried 3 different situation protocols, and according to my opposite, none was correct. So I demand that my opposite HAS to act according to one of my existing situations protocols, becaue the only protocols left are my damaged-opposite or b***h-opposite protocols, and if she dont fit in one of my existing woman-protocols, then she must be part of the damage or b***h protocols."

I have overdone it a bit, but this demanding on finding the right manual protocol is also a kind of control freak. The frustration you show in this thread is a frustration born about your opposite not acting according to one of your characteristics-protocols, you yourself have created." And its causing pressure for every woman that has contact to you. "Ah, no woman acts according to the good woman manual I have created. - Ah ok, that means they are all b*****s, and there are no more good woman in the world, because if there still were I should have success with my "Get a nice woman manual." sooner or later."

I think a big part of the wrong information in your manuals, are that you need not only to find a partner you are happy with, but you need to find a partner, that is happy with you as well. And as you have your own deeds and things you need to be happy, others have those as well. You can blame around all day how terrible other people are, that they dont want to become your partners, but what do you want to attain? That someone agrees to be your partner and be unhappy on your side, simply because you are too silent, dont share any interest, have no understanding for each other... Many NT-partners like to spend much time together, visit events together ... they dont do that for fun, but they need it for being happy in an relationship. If they cant do that with a person, then this persons simply doesnt fit for them as partners. Thats not about being bad, evil, a b***h or whatever, but simply that there is no sense if they agree to have a relationship with a partner they are not happy with, because what would their partner get then: A relationship with a depressed, sad person. So this makes no sense for none of the both.

As sad it is, but many Aspergers dont find partenrs, bot because the world is so evil and all men and women are egoistic as*holes, but simply because many of us dont fit with the gross of humanity as partners. For 95% of men I would also not fit as partner, and there is no sense in offending them to create pressure, so that one of them would agree to have an relationship with me. I write often enough, so I think most of you will now me. Are you monsters or male b*****s, because you think it wouldnt work with me as a partner? No. But I am simply not that kind of woman you need for having a happy relationship and so you would refuse. But this doesnt make you an evil person. ^^

I went as teenager to a technical High School that was visited by 2300 boys and 300 girls. And even there was noone that knew me interested in me, or those that had interest lost it, when they knew me. ^^ That doesnt turn 2300 boys into evil monsters and malebitches, but it simply where 2300 boys that need to be happy in an relationship a girl with other qualities. This site isnt called out of nothing "Wrong planet." We simply dont match with many, many people on that planet. But that doesnt make them evil. ^^

I do not think, that the average Aspie wants to act as a control freak. But in many posts and threads I found tendencies, that see woman like a thing. My english is bad, so I dont mean it in the bad way like "You are a thing." but this typical Aspie way to find general rules and orders for every situations. So its seems to me, like we like to have rules and orders in the way of repetitive doing, we also like to do that when it comes to social contact.

I often read posts, where people describe situations (!) and then ask how they shall behave right to reach their goal. And for me in this is the first failure: Because it doesnt depend on the situation but on the feelings of the opposite person towards that situation. And you often find simply no description of this much more important part, what they think that the person they are talking about seems to feel in that situations, instead you get a description of situations.

I dont want to say, that this would mean that these Aspies wouldnt respect their opposites. They are trying much effort to find the rule and order for acting in situation xyz, so if you wouldnt like someone you wouldnt put much effort in it. But by doing so, they simply lack at the reality, that there are no rules to people, sure there are similarities and average characteristics, but you cant relie on that, when acting, you have to check first which kind of person is in front of you, and if he/she is acting according to standard NT rules be happy, but first you have to find out, by being empathic against that person.

So by talking about "control freaks" it must not mean automatic the father-complex guy but these Aspie type, that is blind to the emotions of the opposite and instead concentrate on finding the technical rules of its opposite, also can act as a control freak when getting frustrated, that his opposite doesnt act as it should be according to his manual. So as example: "Let me tell you the technical description of a situation that occured to me. The room had this and that measures, the temperature was this and that degrees, the organic lifeforms in the rooms moved these followings muscles of their body in the following order. According to my checklists I interpreted this as technical situations 501-B, and according to my lists the correct respond to technical situation 501-B. would be respond 45-Z9. So according to my situations manual I acted as it is in respond 45-Z9 is described, but got another result than the one I should get according to the manual. Can someone tell me which technical detail I forgot, so that I know according to the technical parameters which situation protocol I am expected to carry out from my opposite."

"I have no tried 3 different situation protocols, and according to my opposite, none was correct. So I demand that my opposite HAS to act according to one of my existing situations protocols, becaue the only protocols left are my damaged-opposite or b***h-opposite protocols, and if she dont fit in one of my existing woman-protocols, then she must be part of the damage or b***h protocols."

I have overdone it a bit, but this demanding on finding the right manual protocol is also a kind of control freak. The frustration you show in this thread is a frustration born about your opposite not acting according to one of your characteristics-protocols, you yourself have created." And its causing pressure for every woman that has contact to you. "Ah, no woman acts according to the good woman manual I have created. - Ah ok, that means they are all b*****s, and there are no more good woman in the world, because if there still were I should have success with my "Get a nice woman manual." sooner or later."

I think a big part of the wrong information in your manuals, are that you need not only to find a partner you are happy with, but you need to find a partner, that is happy with you as well. And as you have your own deeds and things you need to be happy, others have those as well. You can blame around all day how terrible other people are, that they dont want to become your partners, but what do you want to attain? That someone agrees to be your partner and be unhappy on your side, simply because you are too silent, dont share any interest, have no understanding for each other... Many NT-partners like to spend much time together, visit events together ... they dont do that for fun, but they need it for being happy in an relationship. If they cant do that with a person, then this persons simply doesnt fit for them as partners. Thats not about being bad, evil, a b***h or whatever, but simply that there is no sense if they agree to have a relationship with a partner they are not happy with, because what would their partner get then: A relationship with a depressed, sad person. So this makes no sense for none of the both.

As sad it is, but many Aspergers dont find partenrs, bot because the world is so evil and all men and women are egoistic as*holes, but simply because many of us dont fit with the gross of humanity as partners. For 95% of men I would also not fit as partner, and there is no sense in offending them to create pressure, so that one of them would agree to have an relationship with me. I write often enough, so I think most of you will now me. Are you monsters or male b*****s, because you think it wouldnt work with me as a partner? No. But I am simply not that kind of woman you need for having a happy relationship and so you would refuse. But this doesnt make you an evil person. ^^

I went as teenager to a technical High School that was visited by 2300 boys and 300 girls. And even there was noone that knew me interested in me, or those that had interest lost it, when they knew me. ^^ That doesnt turn 2300 boys into evil monsters and malebitches, but it simply where 2300 boys that need to be happy in an relationship a girl with other qualities. This site isnt called out of nothing "Wrong planet." We simply dont match with many, many people on that planet. But that doesnt make them evil. ^^

I also think this way. And imagine how hard it is for me to find a partner - I am intersex. But I don't think anyone who feels uncomfortable with me is a "bad person". I've been deeply hurt many times because of it, treated like a "thing" but there are accepting people out there - they are a small minority. I can't fault anyone for their preference. Most people never even heard of intersex before they met me.

Blaming others for our own unhappiness never solves anything. And it doesn't help us move forward. In this situation, it will block you from getting a good quality partner. Your feelings of resentment will drive away any good person.

Yes, being a nice guy can be a turnoff. It can also be sexist. Men who treat women with kid gloves or put women on a pedestal out of a sense of outdated chivalry are nice guys and sexist at the same time.

I try to treat women like I treat men--no chivalry, no special favors, no glass doll complex--and it often works, though I do get called an as*hole a lot. I often have arguments with women that are completely nonsexual in nature, and most of my arch enemies IRL are women. But there's nothing sexual or gendered about it. Just personality clashes and the fact that I don't bend over backwards to please women like most guys do.

Guys who are like "I love women and just want to protect them" are disgusting to me. It's creepy and sexist. It's probably why they don't get laid, in spite of being a "nice guy." Chivalry is gross. I don't believe it's my job to protect anyone other than myself.

There are two ways to come across that attract women (1) blatant machisimo and (2) support for actual gender equality/often appears as just not caring about society's rules. Men who try too hard to be chivalrous and put women on a pedestal are the ones who usually get hit by pepper spray.

I also think this way. And imagine how hard it is for me to find a partner - I am intersex. But I don't think anyone who feels uncomfortable with me is a "bad person". I've been deeply hurt many times because of it, treated like a "thing" but there are accepting people out there - they are a small minority. I can't fault anyone for their preference. Most people never even heard of intersex before they met me.

Blaming others for our own unhappiness never solves anything. And it doesn't help us move forward. In this situation, it will block you from getting a good quality partner. Your feelings of resentment will drive away any good person.

True. Here is the thing though. I am trying to improve myself. Dress up more, trying to learn more social interaction mechanisms, among other things. I am also trying to be more open in public, which is kinda so so, so far. And I guess I am not just mad at them, but mad at aspergers, moving, not having someone that understands (my father), and not being able to connect, it just makes me mad. I never asked for any of this. I just want to be a little more normal. I want to even be able to handle a relationship for more than two minutes. But it seems like no one cares what I have to say. Thus I am depressed, since I have so many ideas in my head, yet I can't release them, less I bore someone. And as far as improvement in terms of meeting people, I have made very little progress. I just feel stuck. And I feel like I have done everything I could have done, thus who's problem is it? Is it mine?

My guess is you're probably attractive and make a good first impression which you should feel good about. That's kind of a double edged sward though as you'll get a lot of people who are initially attracted to you but then don't have enough in common to build the friendship element.

I think that is true. Someone may like me at first, or have the hots, but sometimes I am not the most emotionally intelligent. I am working on getting some people to hang out with (already have one friend). And I was thinking about maybe trying some medication, but I was thinking something more natural, such as Valerian (ordered) or perhaps medicinal pot if Valerian didn't work (don't know if that is against the TOS, so forgive me if not).

Im not Misogynist. Just conservative on gender issues. which makes liberals, feminist, and white knights mad.
but making liberal and feminist mad is not too hard.

Nor is making MRA's mad. I made a thread to goad MRA's and it ballooned to 22 pages of butt hurt rants.

Nor is making MRA's mad. I made a thread to goad MRA's and it ballooned to 22 pages of butt hurt rants.