Advice for Aspie girls

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A local singer with her former husband.


and here with her latest bf:
http://www.gettyimages.ae/detail/news-p ... o/51531694

She got married 7 times and many bfs, mostly with celebs younger than her.

She's normal weight and wears an enormous amount of make-up. They are not just with her because of the money. I really don't think I have to give examples of men in the opposite situation - Kin Dot Com comes to mind - a German internet celebrity.

Ronnie Wood also springs to mind - he is quite thin though, so clealry being thin is good, but primarily he is famous and has loads of cash. I mean... I mean... really now. Ronnie Woods and Wife The girl in the photograph, on the other hand, is a certain size and wears a lot of makeup. She obviously has someone professional do her hair and potentially has a stylist for her clothes. Men don't have to go to so much effort with their personal appearance to impress other people - and I think it is a bit unfair.

On the other hand, I think being single is awesome. I don't want to have children, so there's no rush for me to get married any time in the near future. In fact, I'm questioning the need to be in a relationship at all - I am not sure I understand the purpose of relationships. In fact, I'm sure I don't, but I'm not sure anyone has written a book on the subject

I was referring to men who are approaching reading womens interest levels- nothing else. Or even in regular interactions, a guy reading a girls interest level. Or more accurately, misreading it.

It's a problem normally, that lack or inaccurate filtering. Made much worse when women are approaching.

Why much worse? I was referring to telling the difference between "friendly" and "flirty". You girls pretty much suck at this too.

Even unattractive girls can cite instances where they have been hit on by guys that they are not interested in - for whatever reason, whereas guys who are unattractive honestly cannot always say they have been approached by at least one girl.

It's not as common for girls to approach guys, and many guys think that "men should do the chasing". It's just a fact. Girls who go against that tend to be seen as sexually aggressive, not as courageous but innocent. I personally think it is stupid, but the social rules are different for guys and girls. As many guys never want to admit - boys are usually seen as sissies if they cry, but women cry and it's all "Oh my gosh, I'll do anything you want, just don't cry". Possibly a ridiculous example, but the rules are definitely different for men and women.

And many girls think that "men should do the chasing", not only many guys think so, it's crap that mothers even feed their daughters with. In fact, it's a belief that it's strengthen by females (you see many guys wishing it's not case) because it gives them the upper hand.

Attractive girls expect men to do the chasing - of course. As you said about guys - they have so many options, and the guys who are trying might not be in their league. Unattractive men, however, still generally want to date attractive girls. Attractive girls, as we have shown above, will sometimes be willing to date unattractive men for other benefits.

To be honest though, I wouldn't want to date a guy who was just with me for money though. That would suck big time.

Not as many as you think. I was in an engineer school, so most of my classmates were male, and they were a bit alienated, when they heard of border school mates of other classes, that I was "very directly" about showing a boy my interest. Gotta say that "very directly" simply meant, that I told a boy of another borderschool class verbally with exactly this words, that I was interested in him. A classmate of mine even told me, that in his eyes, these let me look bitchy/harlotlike. XD

So maybe correct that "many boys" into "maybe 5% that dont run crying for their mamas away when a bitchy girls dares to tell them verbally, that they are interested in him. XD I hope my "aggressive way" of verbally telling about an emotional interest, didnt cause them to need therapy all life long. ^^

It must have been quiet shocking for the poor boys, because the boys of my class knew it the next day, so it must have been quiet an issue in the male border school. "Oh my god... a girl tonight came to me, and told me that she found me nice, and was interesting in meeting with me and asked if I maybe interested in meeting her as well. How horrible...its all feminisms fault! Where are the Burquas?"

Last edited by Schneekugel on 12 Jul 2013, 4:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

s**t!! Schneekugel joined the thread.

<-- I AM OUT!

(racial joke has been reported)

^ you're saying that about a guy who encourages girls to ask out guys, isn't that a contradiction to the whole burqa and the macho wishes you're projecting on me?

The reason why I dislike you isn't related to your gender, I can like or dislike whoever I want.

LOL!

This is an offensive projection, I am gonna report this.

As has been discussed, an inaccurate filter, combined with a novel circumstance causes assumptions that are even more wrong that usual.

About girls sucking at it: I don't think girls suck at it quite as much as you think they do. I think they often know the truth, even if subconsciously - it's just that many of them avoid a direct rejection or any kind of confrontation at any cost. Which allows it to look like they "didn't get it" while simultaneously getting them out of the situation scott-free - and best of all, nobody can say they were at fault.

I know plenty of them who do that, either on purpose simply to avoid confrontation or rejecting someone outright, or out of a subconscious desire to keep everyone's approval and stay in their good graces, or otherwise be seen as "nice" and "liked". As illogical as it is, women often crave the approval of men, even of the ones that they reject romantically.

Last edited by Kjas on 12 Jul 2013, 4:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Its less about discouraging or encouraging. You simply dont understand it, as I didnt understand it, when I was younger and that happened. Girls dont need basicaly to be encouraged to show a boy their interest. Thats what they are even supposed to be. The thing why the boys were disturbed, was not about equality, feminism, and so on. It was the simply Aspie problem of not acting normal. I simply didnt act normal according to NT standards, and as always when we dont act normal, it looked weird for that boys.

What made them afraid of me being weird, was not because me showing a boy my interest, that was my job according to NT-standards, that I didnt need to be encourgaged. I thought that when I was younger, and thats why I found it so funny, that they found that so weird, or made it a topic at male border school. But they were not disturbed because of me doing the first move (Again, that what you are supposed to be.) but simply because of doing the first move completly wrong according to NT standards, and so showing them that I was weird.

A girl dont needs to be encouraged to show her interest, because that what an NT-girl is supposed to do. The thing is: According to NT standards I am simply supposed my interest in a nonverbal way. I was not supposed to go to him and talk to him. That would have been his job, after me "telling" him to do so. I was supposed to show him, that I want him to do that. Either by seeking his eye contact, trying to get into his eyereach, or talking to friends about my interest for this boy, so that gossips reaches him, and he is known, that if he likes he can do HIS first move (not THE first move) by talking with me.

I didnt understand it then, and simply found it funny, about what nonsense they seemed to be afraid, but the thing is simply that they were not upset because of me doing the first step, but simply because of me doing that step totally wrong, according to NT measures. So I was absolutely supposed to do the first step. But not in a way, that showed them that I had absolutely no clue about dating or social rules.

Doesnt mean that it didnt work sooner or later. I found my partner years after that, by being very directly again, because of me still not knowing about my lack of recognizing social body- and eyelanguage, so I still didnt understand it at all, and even if I knew, I still would have lacke the ability. But as a citizen of a neighborcountry of germany, with quiet the same culture and language...most boys around here sadly dont like it, if you simply ignore doing your first step, and instead take them "their job" of doing the second step, the verbal contact. Its simply a weird behaviour for them. Again, in the end it worked. But girls here dont need to be told to do the first step, because they are supposed to do so. I think the information, about how they are supposed to do it, may be more helpful.

Thats quiet simple. There is no rule to that, just as there is no rules to that for girls. You are supposed to know, what the opposites think about propper differences of being friendly and flirty, again by his/her verbal, eye- and bodyreactions to your approaching. If you engage social contact, and the opposite acts more shy and friendly but distantly, which you are supposed to recognize by his/her behaviour, an NT reacts to that and changes his own behaviour in a fitting way, that the opposite feels comforted. Again, knowlege of social rules is the one thing, the ability to do so or not do so because of lack of ability to recognize social signals, is the other thing.