11 Oct 2013, 9:23 am
11 Oct 2013, 9:57 am
11 Oct 2013, 11:50 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Oh my...
I am sure you wouldn't be a good match for JM anyway, he said he doesn't like an overly serious person, and you ....you are very overly super serious in interpreting things, you went so far in interpreting this one.
My point, that it's ok if his profile filters out some people, after all no one can be compatible with all types of people.
JM, very good profile, it just lacks a second pic.
Dear head in a jar, what on earth made you think that I was trying to match myself up with the OP?
I was only giving feedback on his profile, like he asked people to. That was the whole point of his thread. Granted, my feedback was longer than other people's, but that is only because I'm a long-winded person. If you check other threads I've contributed to, you will see that I'm written long-winded responses to other topics as well.
OP, I hope you did not misinterpret my long-windedness as a sign of interest. Goodness me. Is this another one of those weird unwritten "rules?" i.e. if you write a long comment on a thread somewhere, it means you must fancy the OP?
I hope that all the other people to whose threads I may have contributed do not think I fancy them. 
How embarrassing. Have I accidentally done something wrong again and given off the wrong impression? I'm always doing that in real life. I wouldn't have thought it was possible to do it to the same extent on the Internet.
Leafplant, OP stands for Original Poster. It's used to refer to the person who started the thread. I was going to make a joke and pretend it stood for something else, but I've been labelled as serious. We can't have people blowing my cover and finding out I'm not really that serious after all.
11 Oct 2013, 11:52 am
I think I like your WP avatar better than the shot you chose for your dating site profile and might suggest swapping them. Other than that, I think it's a great profile and my only complaint is that you live overseas. 
11 Oct 2013, 12:08 pm
11 Oct 2013, 12:12 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,123
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 Oct 2013, 1:57 pm
11 Oct 2013, 2:36 pm
11 Oct 2013, 2:38 pm
Hi Smudge! 
11 Oct 2013, 2:43 pm
11 Oct 2013, 3:10 pm
LogicalMolly wrote:
smudge wrote:
Also the fact you have lots of people around you scares me off, because I'd like to have a boyfriend to myself, lol. But that...yes...I'm sure a lot of women think that way but wouldn't dare admit it. Either that, or they would eventually eliminate your social life.
I raised this point earlier but you are the first to state that you think the same way I do.
again, he is looking for an NT girlfriend. Those b*****s love people
11 Oct 2013, 3:52 pm
babybird wrote:
Hi Smudge!
Hey babybird.
LogicalMolly wrote:
smudge wrote:
Also the fact you have lots of people around you scares me off, because I'd like to have a boyfriend to myself, lol. But that...yes...I'm sure a lot of women think that way but wouldn't dare admit it. Either that, or they would eventually eliminate your social life.
I raised this point earlier but you are the first to state that you think the same way I do.
I looked to see which post you meant, and came across this one:
LogicalMolly wrote:
The only part that would ring alarm bells with me personally is the bit where you say "I am a person that commits myself to my passions, my work and most definitely to other people in my life." The way my brain interprets that is that you're saying that your life is already full of people that you're very close to, which makes it sound like you wouldn't have time for a romantic partner.
As an Aspie, personally I am an "all or nothing" person. I cannot handle multiple friendships, and can't really handle having a friendship as well as a romantic relationship. I always invest 100% in a relationship, and have nothing left over for anybody else. This means I find it very hard to understand how people can post adverts claiming they want a romance when there are already people in their life (even though I accept that not everybody is like me, and some are capable of sustaining multiple friendships at a time).
You don't really explain what you mean by "committing" yourself to the people in your life. Are you hinting that you wish to be a committed boyfriend to someone and are trying to make the point that you are capable of commitment? Are you implying that you are always there for your friends and family to turn to in a crisis? Or do you mean that you frequently socialise with your friends, and commit to seeing them on a regular basis? If the latter, it gives the impression that you would perhaps expect your romantic partner to socialise with all these "other people in your life" as well, and that idea freaks me out (but that's just because I'm a person who can't handle large amounts of social interaction).
However, the vast majority of people would probably not interpret it like that at all. Most people (read, neurotypical people) have their lives overflowing with friends and family, and social interaction with multiple people is considered to be desirable and necessary. In the neurotypical world there would probably be alarm bells ringing if you didn't say that there were other people in your life. Also, the vast majority of people have no objection to being introduced to (and socialising with) their partner's family and friends. So I think whether you want to leave that part in or remove it depends on whether you are hoping to attract NT women or autistic women with your profile. Would you like an Aspie girlfriend, or an NT one? Or do you not really care?
As an Aspie, personally I am an "all or nothing" person. I cannot handle multiple friendships, and can't really handle having a friendship as well as a romantic relationship. I always invest 100% in a relationship, and have nothing left over for anybody else. This means I find it very hard to understand how people can post adverts claiming they want a romance when there are already people in their life (even though I accept that not everybody is like me, and some are capable of sustaining multiple friendships at a time).
You don't really explain what you mean by "committing" yourself to the people in your life. Are you hinting that you wish to be a committed boyfriend to someone and are trying to make the point that you are capable of commitment? Are you implying that you are always there for your friends and family to turn to in a crisis? Or do you mean that you frequently socialise with your friends, and commit to seeing them on a regular basis? If the latter, it gives the impression that you would perhaps expect your romantic partner to socialise with all these "other people in your life" as well, and that idea freaks me out (but that's just because I'm a person who can't handle large amounts of social interaction).
However, the vast majority of people would probably not interpret it like that at all. Most people (read, neurotypical people) have their lives overflowing with friends and family, and social interaction with multiple people is considered to be desirable and necessary. In the neurotypical world there would probably be alarm bells ringing if you didn't say that there were other people in your life. Also, the vast majority of people have no objection to being introduced to (and socialising with) their partner's family and friends. So I think whether you want to leave that part in or remove it depends on whether you are hoping to attract NT women or autistic women with your profile. Would you like an Aspie girlfriend, or an NT one? Or do you not really care?
You are right. You are quite like me! I'm always pushing people away because I don't have the energy to invest in them. There are no definite boundaries with aquaintences, which stresses me out. The process of making friends and rejection for me, is exhausting. Trying to figure out where I stand with people is such a big problem that I prefer to cut them out altogether rather than not know. I can't deal with uncertainty. If I could have it my way, I would be 100% dedicated to that person and them to me, and they wouldn't even dream of making up excuses not to see me, or lying about most things as is the done thing. Anything less than that, even in friendships, is hard for me to take. It's not a high standard I purposely hold - it's because I absolutely need routine, and find it *so* hard to deal with change and interruptions. It's only recently I've discovered just how rigidly I think. Whenever I try to go against it and "improve", it grinds me to a halt and I can't function. I'm quite a proud person and I absolutely hate to think that AS is holding me back from anything.
It's interesting, the periods during my life where I haven't bothered with people (out of my own will) has usually left me feeling a lot happier, rather than the common knowledge that isolating yourself is a bad thing and brings you deep into depression. In my world, things are far more organised and reliable, and stable.
Anyway, sorry to interrupt your thread JM.
11 Oct 2013, 4:06 pm
Anyone who brings me a kebab right now - I'm yours, I'll be as messed up and needy as you like. 
How's OP doing? Progress report needed!
11 Oct 2013, 8:04 pm
Wow, it's only been like 24 hours. I don't think I'm gonna see much results yet
I was hosting a sort of welcoming party for our new housemate and doing something with Steam groupchat so haven't had time to play around with OKC.
Nothing really new to report but I'm going to leave the messaging til tomorrow. Not only is it too late to message normal people but I've had a couple of drinks.
Drinks and social media don't mix period, especially at night!
As for this whole "completion" business everyone's talking about. I guess what I'm saying is I want someone who is a bit more independent and has less care needs etc. in other words, someone who's not a princess or expects me to solve all of their problems. I'm a supportive guy but I'm not a doormat or butler and likewise I don't expect them to fill some sort of empty hole in my life but instead be a greater part to an already good life. I saw some girl's profile and she summed it up really well. She said she doesn't believe in being another half to a person, but everyone should be whole persons and ride along side one another.
11 Oct 2013, 8:17 pm
11 Oct 2013, 8:37 pm
JanuaryMan wrote:
Wow, it's only been like 24 hours. I don't think I'm gonna see much results yet
I was hosting a sort of welcoming party for our new housemate and doing something with Steam groupchat so haven't had time to play around with OKC.
Nothing really new to report but I'm going to leave the messaging til tomorrow. Not only is it too late to message normal people but I've had a couple of drinks.
Drinks and social media don't mix period, especially at night!
As for this whole "completion" business everyone's talking about. I guess what I'm saying is I want someone who is a bit more independent and has less care needs etc. in other words, someone who's not a princess or expects me to solve all of their problems. I'm a supportive guy but I'm not a doormat or butler and likewise I don't expect them to fill some sort of empty hole in my life but instead be a greater part to an already good life. I saw some girl's profile and she summed it up really well. She said she doesn't believe in being another half to a person, but everyone should be whole persons and ride along side one another.
I was hosting a sort of welcoming party for our new housemate and doing something with Steam groupchat so haven't had time to play around with OKC.
Nothing really new to report but I'm going to leave the messaging til tomorrow. Not only is it too late to message normal people but I've had a couple of drinks.
Drinks and social media don't mix period, especially at night!
As for this whole "completion" business everyone's talking about. I guess what I'm saying is I want someone who is a bit more independent and has less care needs etc. in other words, someone who's not a princess or expects me to solve all of their problems. I'm a supportive guy but I'm not a doormat or butler and likewise I don't expect them to fill some sort of empty hole in my life but instead be a greater part to an already good life. I saw some girl's profile and she summed it up really well. She said she doesn't believe in being another half to a person, but everyone should be whole persons and ride along side one another.
Ahh that's what i need to put in my profile! A Princess who desires all her needs catered to by Butler from Batman . .. Do you reckon I'd get any responses to that? Sorry, thread derail again. Please ignore that.
The way that girl phrased it is a really good way to put the I am 'Against You Complete Me Nonsense' attitude, if it doesn't work out with her, I'd totally nick it if I were you.
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