Moving in Together...........

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Look, I totally understand if the woman gets mad at the man if he leaves dirty clothes on the floor, or to dirty the bathroom without cleaning it or to not participate in the house works...

but toilet seat positioning? It's something I still can't digest.

And besides, health studies showed it's wisest to close the LID before flushing, are you saying I would be inconsiderate if I leave the lid closed?

Agreed.

I mean, if I see dirty dishes or whatever in the sink (and it wasn't me who put them there), I don't complain. I just wash them, and that's it.

But even then, that would be different from leaving the toilet seat up.

At least, with regards to the toilet seat, there is no rational reason I can think of for being compelled to leave it either way. In the case of dishes, however, it seems rational to me that any person who puts a dirty dish in the sink is (in the absence of overriding rules or agreements) expected to wash it himself.

It will sure as hell take a lot more than this thread to make me have a melt down.

As I've already said (and if you could read properly you'd see that.) Since you really want to make this a gender war, I've gone and removed gender pronouns ot references to toilets from my argument then maybe you'll actually get it:

-If someone is legitamately attempting to accomidate by making adjustments to thier behavior and the other person blows up over the occasional mistake, they are overreacting and being an immature jerk.
-If the same someone is reacting with indignation and dismissiveness and makes it clear they don't respect the other persons feelings on an issue (as you and others on this thread seem want to do) than they are the ones overreacting to the issue and being an immature jerk.

It's about both sides being willing to show respect for the other person's views. In other words, mutual respect and understanding. Simple Right?

Last edited by Geekonychus on 05 Dec 2013, 2:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.

No. You'd be inconsiderate because "hey, I don't really get your whole toilet seat issue thing, but I respect you enough to attempt a very minor change to my behavior as long as you're willing to cut me a bit of slack if I make the occasional mistake" seems to be something you MCalavera are too stubborn to say.

If it doesn't make sense to you then clearly the other person's feelings are invalid and not worth compromising on.......... Good luck finding a healthy relationship with that attitude.

The idea that you think I see this as a gender war seems like a form of projection. This is more about me trying to see the rationality behind why one should go out of his/her way to appease someone else for what seems to me to be very trivial things.

In the case of a toilet seat, if someone demands that the toilet seat be down at all costs, then I'd want to know why exactly this is a problem that only I could solve by complying, and why it is a problem if I don't comply.

If anything, it seems like, in the absence of any valid reason, that this is quite manipulative and no different from being a control freak.

Truthfully, it's trivial to me too. The difference between you and me is that just because I don't get it doesn't mean I think I should flat out dismiss the other person's feelings on the issue.

And exactly how is making an attempt to put the toilet seat down after using it "going out of your way?" Just how lazy are you that you can't make the smallest tokenistic bit of effort to show respect to a person? Have you ever lived with roommates before?

Last edited by Geekonychus on 05 Dec 2013, 3:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Just want to quickly interject: Geekonychus, the more I read about your general concepts of mutual, caring respect, the more I realize.....you guys are going to be just fine together!

You're a prince and I get the feeling that you and your girlfriend are going to be able to negotiate life together just great.

.

If it's wrong only because it "hurts" a person's feelings, then again, this is no different from the mindset of someone who's being a control freak.



How about you tell me how it is respect that one is compelled to unconditionally comply with something for no valid reason. In a sense, this is how manipulation usually operates within a relationship.

Like I said, I keep the toilet seat down personally, but it's not because I do it to appease others. It's just something I do.

Who here doesn't have general concepts of mutual, caring respect?



You only know about his online persona, though. So your feeling isn't reliable much.

Again with the objectivist nonsense. You don't get it, therefore it's not valid.........

I might as well be trying to explain evolution to to a hardcore Christian.

Last edited by Geekonychus on 05 Dec 2013, 4:03 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Thanks! I'm starting to feel better about our chances too.

A person's feelings aren't worthy taking into account if you disagree with them and daring to ask someone to do so makes the other person a control freak, in your eyes. You said it yourself man.

The key word there is "only" which you so conveniently ignored.

And it's not mutual if one side has to comply with the other person's request without a valid reason and the other isn't expected to do so. I also don't see how it is a caring thing to do, rather than being a doormat.

Yeah, I mean is it really that hard to look at the toilet?? Or take it up?? I don't believe it can be an issue, no normal sane human being would make an issue out of it.

Doctor's Advice: Leave the Toilet Seat Up

If you actually cared about and respected the other person, the fact that it bothers them should be a perfectly valid reason in and of itself.