ShadesOfBlue wrote:
Men who are overly self-conscious about their height is somewhat comparable to women being overly self-conscious about their breast size. Perhaps a lot or even most women prefer a man taller than herself, even quite tall, and a lot or even most men prefer their mate to have average or above average breast size. Also, that being said, some women could care less about height, and some actually prefer shorter men, just as some men could care less about breast size, and some actually prefer smaller breasts. There are enough of the stereotypical views out there though to make women and men routinely insecure about this. It's kindof the luck of the draw, and you can't really (naturally) change either, unless you gain weight as a woman, but then there's other problems...
I tend to be more attracted to very tall men. My ex-husband, however, was 5'6" and his height rarely bothered me. It did bother me, though, that he seemed to have a "Napoleon Complex." Even the way he carried himself was like with his back out and chin way up as though to appear taller. It was almost comical to me. I'm sorry if this makes me sound like a jerk. My current bf is between 6'6" and 6'7" and I love his height. He's 14 inches taller than me. This makes some things difficult but not impossible.
Also, to note, some men who are really, really short have other extremely desirable qualities that make their height a total non-issue. It's not pure confidence (that could be seen as cockiness) but just nonchalance about it I guess?
The attraction to taller and/ or bigger men is probably evolutionary wiring, but it certainly isn't a deal-breaker for everyone. If I fell in love with a short man, I wouldn't not go for it because of his height (obviously, as my ex was particularly short).
Shortness in men is not only viewed as unattractive but also despised, I recall an university election candidate was being insulted for his height by both female and male supporters of his rivals (short animal), he short height was too mentioned to belittle and invalid him, and those were college students - elites in term of education - this all reflects the discrimination against short people, short men in particular.
I strongly disagree with you that it's mainly about self-consciousness; the latter is a consequence of how people of the other sex view them. When short men see women all the time talking favorably about tallness - no wonder they would develop self-consciousness and complexities about it, same for women with flat boobs, but it was never the initial issue.
People in general discriminate against short people, consciously and subconsciously. Short men are often associated with negative traits especially by women:
a bossy or angry tall man is viewed as angry and bossy man while an angry and bossy short man is viewed as Napoleon case.
An example of subconscious discrimination is probably *you*, despite you married a short man before I think you have it against his height, you assume that his chin up and posture is due to "Napoleon complex", did he ever tell you he does that to appear taller? (I highly doubt that) Or you just assumed and associated this behavior to height complexity? (because you have a deep disliking against shortness and hence you are more likely to put short men in negative light).
I know plenty of tall men who chin up and flex their postures yet I am sure that you would never associate them with any height complex because they are tall.
Really, it's like assuming a white man is less likely to be a criminal than a black man.
In all forms of discrimination, from racism to sexism, were often falsely justified by "the problem is in you" or "it's all in your head" explanations/theories - those who are discriminating rarely admit that the problem is in them in the society's attitudes toward the discriminated group.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Feb 2014, 9:13 am, edited 2 times in total.
03 Feb 2014, 8:45 pm
