Men and Women - does not compute?

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marshall
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28 Mar 2014, 5:53 pm

starvingartist wrote:
em_tsuj wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
i like equal partnerships, companions who have no power over me and i have no power over them. is that so strange?


Yes, it is strange.


then i guess i'm strange. who'd have guessed? :lol:

No, you're not strange. The rest of the world is mad.



em_tsuj
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28 Mar 2014, 5:57 pm

leafplant wrote:
Those who get pissed off by other people not making getting what they want from them easier are already proving themselves to be first class as*holes.


Not really, just a lack of empathy. I have no idea what it is like to be a woman and play the female role in dating.

All I experience is being rejected. I think it is unfair that I get punished for something someone else did. I also take it personally when someone suspects that I am lying to them. It is like an affront to my character. That is the perspective I come from. I can't see it from the other person's perspective, not unless someone explains it to me in great detail. It was recently explained to me in great detail (here at wrongplanet). Now I understand.

From the other person's perspective, I am probably seen as an insensitive jerk. They can't see it from my perspective, only their perspective.



starvingartist
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28 Mar 2014, 5:58 pm

marshall wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
em_tsuj wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
i like equal partnerships, companions who have no power over me and i have no power over them. is that so strange?


Yes, it is strange.


then i guess i'm strange. who'd have guessed? :lol:

No, you're not strange. The rest of the world is mad.


i wonder sometimes--it seems like it's either that, or i just have no place in the human sphere, outside in the real world or here on WP.



leafplant
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28 Mar 2014, 6:44 pm

starvingartist wrote:
marshall wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
em_tsuj wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
i like equal partnerships, companions who have no power over me and i have no power over them. is that so strange?


Yes, it is strange.


then i guess i'm strange. who'd have guessed? :lol:

No, you're not strange. The rest of the world is mad.


i wonder sometimes--it seems like it's either that, or i just have no place in the human sphere, outside in the real world or here on WP.


I feel the same except I don't feel like I have a place on WP either.

Don't feel bad. From talking to my NT friends, it seems that everyone is just faking it anyway.



leafplant
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28 Mar 2014, 6:46 pm

em_tsuj wrote:
leafplant wrote:
Those who get pissed off by other people not making getting what they want from them easier are already proving themselves to be first class as*holes.


Not really, just a lack of empathy. I have no idea what it is like to be a woman and play the female role in dating.

All I experience is being rejected. I think it is unfair that I get punished for something someone else did. I also take it personally when someone suspects that I am lying to them. It is like an affront to my character. That is the perspective I come from. I can't see it from the other person's perspective, not unless someone explains it to me in great detail. It was recently explained to me in great detail (here at wrongplanet). Now I understand.

From the other person's perspective, I am probably seen as an insensitive jerk. They can't see it from my perspective, only their perspective.


I think it's a bit weird that you have a concept of fairness though. Where do you get off having standards anyway? :P



em_tsuj
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28 Mar 2014, 6:56 pm

starvingartist wrote:
marshall wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
em_tsuj wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
i like equal partnerships, companions who have no power over me and i have no power over them. is that so strange?


Yes, it is strange.


then i guess i'm strange. who'd have guessed? :lol:

No, you're not strange. The rest of the world is mad.


i wonder sometimes--it seems like it's either that, or i just have no place in the human sphere, outside in the real world or here on WP.


I didn't mean to be insulting. It is just that I have rarely encountered a person who is truly about equality. The overwhelming majority of people say "equal" to mean, "You must respect my rights!". That is not equality. That is you trying to be dominant.

My mom (who is on the spectrum) is the only person I know of beside you and some other people on WP who don't have that built-in desire to dominate and control other people. Most people I know of don't see a problem with trying to force people to do as they see fit. I have a big problem with it but have learned not to say anything because it seems to be such an alien concept to people (that people don't need to be controlled and you don't have to constantly fight to get people to do what you want them to do).



leafplant
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29 Mar 2014, 11:12 am

Archdevilius wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
Archdevilius wrote:
A lot of older women prefer younger men also because we provide a more modern and open perspective on people instead of demanding that a woman should be one way or the other, demanding that she should be home bound or maternal. Younger men also have more open views on equality in a relationship, we have more modern views whereas an older jaded, bitter man might be more abusive. That's why we are now seeing so many older women with younger men, in the celebrity eye and in every day society.


got any evidence to support that? because i would question it.


The evidence is in the increasing number of women going for younger men, in films, in shows like Desperate housewives, in the public eye, there is something very appealing about a younger man and part of it is that the woman is the mentor.



Call it kismet, serendipity or fate, but I just came across this and thought of you! :D

http://baltimorepostexaminer.com/pick-l ... 2014/03/29



NinsMom
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29 Mar 2014, 1:51 pm

em_tsuj wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
marshall wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
em_tsuj wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
i like equal partnerships, companions who have no power over me and i have no power over them. is that so strange?


Yes, it is strange.


then i guess i'm strange. who'd have guessed? :lol:

No, you're not strange. The rest of the world is mad.


i wonder sometimes--it seems like it's either that, or i just have no place in the human sphere, outside in the real world or here on WP.


I didn't mean to be insulting. It is just that I have rarely encountered a person who is truly about equality. The overwhelming majority of people say "equal" to mean, "You must respect my rights!". That is not equality. That is you trying to be dominant.

My mom (who is on the spectrum) is the only person I know of beside you and some other people on WP who don't have that built-in desire to dominate and control other people. Most people I know of don't see a problem with trying to force people to do as they see fit. I have a big problem with it but have learned not to say anything because it seems to be such an alien concept to people (that people don't need to be controlled and you don't have to constantly fight to get people to do what you want them to do).


I want to join that group! Intimacy & control have Nothing to do with each other. I don't want the responsibility of controlling someone else, & I don't want them controlling me.
I identify with Starvingartist that not wanting that really puts people in a bind regarding relationships because it's such a part of most people's idea of what a relationship is "supposed to be" about. 'Not talking about open relationships or free love or whatever. I'm just saying that people can care for & about each other & be supportive without being controlling or controlled.

I'm also saying "Good-bye to Starving Artist here. I'm not going to be on WP anymore. ('Guess i don't feel like I have a place here either.) I wish you luck & more in your life. It's been a pleasure taking with you!



starvingartist
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29 Mar 2014, 4:05 pm

NinsMom wrote:
I want to join that group! Intimacy & control have Nothing to do with each other. I don't want the responsibility of controlling someone else, & I don't want them controlling me.
I identify with Starvingartist that not wanting that really puts people in a bind regarding relationships because it's such a part of most people's idea of what a relationship is "supposed to be" about. 'Not talking about open relationships or free love or whatever. I'm just saying that people can care for & about each other & be supportive without being controlling or controlled.

I'm also saying "Good-bye to Starving Artist here. I'm not going to be on WP anymore. ('Guess i don't feel like I have a place here either.) I wish you luck & more in your life. It's been a pleasure taking with you!


^^ yes this!! if only more people understood this.

i hope you come back when you can, NinsMom--i certainly understand why you feel how you do, but as frustrated as i sometimes get with WP, i do find it overall to be a great place to share ideas even if they are not always as well-received as i would hope. i've enjoyed talking with you, too. :)

in future, i am definitely going to be paying a lot more attention to which forums threads are posted in before i click on them, so i can avoid love & dating as much as possible: it isn't good for anyone's sanity. :lol: