Is being over 25 too old to still be living at home?
goldfish21
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Age: 42
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Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Absolutely it does.
I live where we have immigrants from all over the world. There are many Indians here (from India, not Native Indians) who come from a collectivist culture where everyone lives together in a large house in order to split the bills and advance their family's wealth. It's also to take care of the elderly as well as young children. Often there are three generations in one household. Almost always the eldest son stays at home with his parents & grandparents forever and his wife moves in, they have kids & the elderly help look after the babies as long as they can, then the elderly are cared for when they're too old etc. Many other cultures around the world do this, too.
Besides cultural traditions, there's the simple matter of money. It's now so expensive here that it's extremely common for adult children to live at home with their parents because they cannot afford to buy their own place, and in some cases cannot afford rent depending on their financial situation of course. I currently live at my parents' place and have been here for a couple of years. At first I needed to live here for financial reasons, and now I could afford to move.. but I'd prefer to stay a little longer just to save up money.
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WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
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Posts: 2,154
Location: California, United States
Absolutely it does.
I live where we have immigrants from all over the world. There are many Indians here (from India, not Native Indians) who come from a collectivist culture where everyone lives together in a large house in order to split the bills and advance their family's wealth. It's also to take care of the elderly as well as young children. Often there are three generations in one household. Almost always the eldest son stays at home with his parents & grandparents forever and his wife moves in, they have kids & the elderly help look after the babies as long as they can, then the elderly are cared for when they're too old etc. Many other cultures around the world do this, too.
Besides cultural traditions, there's the simple matter of money. It's now so expensive here that it's extremely common for adult children to live at home with their parents because they cannot afford to buy their own place, and in some cases cannot afford rent depending on their financial situation of course. I currently live at my parents' place and have been here for a couple of years. At first I needed to live here for financial reasons, and now I could afford to move.. but I'd prefer to stay a little longer just to save up money.
It's just as bad when women are frowned upon for living with parents. You could argue that it's worse because women statistically make less money so this situation is more likely to happen.
WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
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Location: California, United States
It's just as bad when women are frowned upon for living with parents. You could argue that it's worse because women statistically make less money so this situation is more likely to happen.
I swear that this is related to this thread.
Today, one WP member pretty much ripped me apart for taking advantage of my elderly husband. Of course it was assumed that since I am elderly [59] my husband must be old and decrepit as well. [ 5 years younger] Yes, I am a cancer warrior. I could have been one if I were not older. Unfortunately there are MANY children even with cancer. Yes, my husband has congestive heart failure, but I guarantee it is not because he worked hard until he became ill. I do not consider either of us feeble old people. [ pics of both of us, 2 years ago,before illness, very fit and non-feeble at www.trynude.com click on ABOUT,click on ACCOMODATIONS until you get to the woman and man in the ice cream shop. Do I look like an old, evil woman who is trying to work her husband to death? No, we look like happy, fit, hard working people of "a certain age" living and loving life.[warning trigger, non-young naked people]
So, how is this applicable to this thread? Maybe because that "elderly" comment made me feel I have the right of the elderly to "spout off" with a "back in my day," opinion.
Times are harder for young people now. Less jobs at a lesser income. Blue collar jobs gone overseas. Costs for college are sinful. Is it okay for young people to stay living with their parents for a longer period of time? I think it would be foolish for most not to. So long as they are using that time to prepare for the future, and that includes economically. Save money, learn living skills. I think that can level the playing field.
A lot.
And when and if you DO move out,try to move to your own home or paid off mobile home or whatever.[ unless your disability prevents it from being an option.
Back in "my day", I,like most of my peers, if they were not attending college [which for some was for a very long time to avoid the draft] I moved out at 18 years old. I grew up in a solid middle class family. They were not poor, and though they were not typical in so many ways, they were when it came to their kids leaving the nest. My mom gave me some old dish towels, a few non-matching dishes, an old chenille bedspread and a few of the black "camping pans."
I did not have a bed, but that was okay. Many of my peers had no bed at all, just an old mattress. [ it was ussually a few years before getting that "cool"waterbed.] I did not have a mattress, but that did not phase me, especially since I had a friend with a pick-up truck. This meant that as soon as there was semester end at the university in Boulder, I would have my choice of mattresses from dumpsters in the area. That is when the moms would come to the rescue. Not with money. With a can of lysol. [ and ussually homemade cookies]
Eventually, we would hear about someone someone giving away a free sofa. We did not care about the style or color or design. It was a free couch for goodness sakes. If there were not springs poking out all over the place,it felt as though we had hit the "motherlode." It would look beautiful to us and look perfect next to the cedar block and wood bookcase one of our roommates [yes roommates] had picked up the parts for at a construction site.
We would share a meal of "poor mans tuna" sandwiches,[ one can of tuna mixed with tons of mashed potatoes, on day old bread] or beans and rice, and cherry kool-aid with 4 or 5 other people, feeling somewhat proud of our frugal culinary ability.
Just examples of how it was. We did not feel poor or deprived. We were setting money aside, some of it for the "responsible, real grown up" future, and some of it for the really cool hookah and mural we had seen at Pier One Imports.
My late husband. He could not afford to rent a house and go to school at the same time. He had moved to Colorado from New Jersey. He had called for the tuition fees before leaving NJ. The tuition he had been quoted had been the local residents rate. His out-of-state tuition was 5 times higher. He did not discover this until he went in to register. He could not afford both rent and tuition, so he moved into a cave for 5 months until he was making decent money as a stage hand. Now, while he was living, I heard at least a thousand times about the college girls who kept him warm, satisfied, and fed while he lived there, but still...
It was just assumed we would find a way. And, most of us, NT or AS did. Times are rougher in many ways. Staying at home for awhile getting ready is almost a neccessity now. And expecting to start with nice furniture, being able to go out to eat once a week, or the movies when we were not tucking at least that same ammount of money away for a house, business, whatever,was unreasonable then, and is unreasonable now.
More examples. Phone? There were no cell phones and we could not afford the 8 bucks a month for a home phone. Not to get where we we wanted without stressing ourselves out. So, a bunch of us paid a dollar each a month to the lady down the block who was home with a bunch of kids who would take messages for us. WIn-win, all around. And we did not feel deprived. We felt smart. Grocery stores did not donate to food banks [not sure if they even existed] so we would "shop", along with many of our neighbors at the grocery store dumpsters. And we did not feel deprived. We felt smart. The first bottled water I heard of, was perrier, a sign of status. Most of us found it a joke. It should be even more a joke now that there are water bottles all over the place.
So, just an "old lady lecture." Please, do not feel uncomfortable staying home as long as you need to [so long as you are welcome and all around pitching in], just make that time count.
I currently work full-time at a Grocery store though, so I am employed, have a job, and I have a car at least, but i'm just wondering, is this situation mean it will be hopeless for me to get a girlfriend? or can I still be able to get a girlfriend?
Of course I do want to do something with my life, it's just for a very long time I didn't know what I wanted to do, still not completely sure, I'm strongly considering going back to school though, but I would love to have a girlfriend but wondering if the fact I still live with my parents and that i'm not settled into my career yet would make me not get a second look from girls?
I wouldn't be comfortable having to put my dating life/sex life on hold because of this since i'm not getting any younger, I know people say you have plenty of time for dating and relationships, that you have your whole life ahead, it's just I want to be able to enjoy some youthful ones, and don't want to become too old to date or attract certain type of women.
Are there any people that are around my age or older that still live with their parents, not set in their career yet but yet were still able to attract someone into their life, still be able to have a dating life?
Look into getting into college. If you cannot pay for it then get a student loan. Either that or consider the armed forces(if you qualify).
Not a bad idea, but be sure your diploma will result in the ability to repay your loans. And, know the full extent of your debt. My MS in computer science paid off in less than two years after graduation. But, many degrees have no financial value, while debt, in and of is self, is worth less than nothing. So, do a feasibility study with a financial simulation and have a plan.
WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
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Location: California, United States
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Do that until you can do better.
That's pretty much what I've been doing.
For quite some time I was in survival mode, and depended on friends/family to get by.
Then I figured out how to improve my health & be capable of working more, did it, and then have since been working hard and saving money to prepare for the future.
The thing is that you always have to do as much as you can, and if you can't do much, figure out why & what to do about it - then do that thing - and then be able to do more.. rinse and repeat. Kaizen.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,154
Location: California, United States
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