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I'm So Frustrated

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The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Apr 2015, 1:07 pm

My bet:

You'll find a boyfriend and get married before all of us struggling guys here.

The whining young girls here always end up like that. :lol:

You will see, and you will all remember this post.



sly279
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05 Apr 2015, 3:09 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
I have, but they always say no.


what kind of guys are you asking?

O.o

If someone like you asked me out I'd be scared at first, freeze up but i'd later say yes.
I've never been asked out ever though.



Scaevitas
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05 Apr 2015, 5:20 pm

sly279 wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
I have, but they always say no.


what kind of guys are you asking?

O.o

If someone like you asked me out I'd be scared at first, freeze up but i'd later say yes.
I've never been asked out ever though.


Guys like me bro. Ayy.



darkphantomx1
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05 Apr 2015, 11:24 pm

Just be yourself GoofyGoobers. I know you hear that advice a lot but it's true. Why change yourself drastically just so you can attract someone? It's a lot better to find someone who likes you for who you are. Someone who understands you. Have you tried meeting another guy online?

I don't think it's because of your looks because you are good looking from the pictures you have posted. I think that you're desperate and it shows to other guys in that you come off way too strong and guys are intimidated by this. You want to try to find a balance between coming off too strong and desperate to not caring at all, you want to be in the middle. And you should first love yourself before you're in a relationship. Being in a relationship probably isn't going to solve all of your problems.


And you never really know where you will be 5 years from now. A lot can change in half a decade. For all we know, you could be really happy and satisfied with your life 5 years now. Sometimes when you're depressed, all you have to do is just wait it out. Finally, you never know when you will meet that special guy who you really connect with and it could happen in the most mysterious circumstances. It could be 5 years from now, 1 year from now, even 1 month from now. You never know. Just be sure that when you do find this guy and you two click, one of you has to take the initiative and ask them out or you may have to wait a while before the next "special someone" shows up again.



Last edited by darkphantomx1 on 05 Apr 2015, 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

goofygoobers
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05 Apr 2015, 11:37 pm

sly279 wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
I have, but they always say no.


what kind of guys are you asking?

O.o

If someone like you asked me out I'd be scared at first, freeze up but i'd later say yes.
I've never been asked out ever though.


I'm asking guys that I think would be compatible with me. Guys who share similar interests and stuff.



darkphantomx1
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05 Apr 2015, 11:52 pm

When you're 33 and happily married, you'll come back to Wrong Planet and read your old posts and be like "yup those were the days of when I thought I was going to be forever alone" then you'll chuckle and scroll through your Iphone 20s then you'll hop on your flying car to go to work.

Just don't forget me plz. Ehh you probably won't even remember who I am 5 years from now. Oh well...

I'll be 34 and still hanging out in my moms basement still playing Runescape because my famous philosophical words are "girls are xp waste"



Bentastic197
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06 Apr 2015, 12:14 am

goofygoobers wrote:
I'm really REALLY tired of feeling lonely, confused, frustrated, and jealous. I feel so defective because no one wants to have a romantic relationship with me. I do my best to be nice and talk to people, but nothing ever seems to be enough.

I've tried many times to get to know guys I've had crushes on, and they never like me back. Why am I such a turnoff? I've been told by guys that I "talk too much," but if I don't talk to people, they ignore me. How am I going to have any relationships with anyone if I don't talk?

I admit, I'm jealous of other people who can find people who are more than willing to go out with them, when all I get are "friends." It's frustrating, and I'm tired of being stuck like this. My self-esteem is already pretty low, and it lowers when I look at myself in the mirror.

What really confuses me is that many people online have told me I look beautiful, but I don't get told that as much outside of the internet.

Will someone please explain why this is happening to me? I'm really depressed and stressed out. Please give me an answer. I don't know what to do anymore. :cry: I feel like giving up on life as a whole.


I'm right there with you :(



sly279
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06 Apr 2015, 1:26 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
Just be yourself GoofyGoobers. I know you hear that advice a lot but it's true. Why change yourself drastically just so you can attract someone? It's a lot better to find someone who likes you for who you are. Someone who understands you. Have you tried meeting another guy online?

I don't think it's because of your looks because you are good looking from the pictures you have posted. I think that you're desperate and it shows to other guys in that you come off way too strong and guys are intimidated by this. You want to try to find a balance between coming off too strong and desperate to not caring at all, you want to be in the middle. And you should first love yourself before you're in a relationship. Being in a relationship probably isn't going to solve all of your problems.


And you never really know where you will be 5 years from now. A lot can change in half a decade. For all we know, you could be really happy and satisfied with your life 5 years now. Sometimes when you're depressed, all you have to do is just wait it out. Finally, you never know when you will meet that special guy who you really connect with and it could happen in the most mysterious circumstances. It could be 5 years from now, 1 year from now, even 1 month from now. You never know. Just be sure that when you do find this guy and you two click, one of you has to take the initiative and ask them out or you may have to wait a while before the next "special someone" shows up again.



first you say be yourself then you say in the very next paragraph change yourself. o.O

I personally am not off put by desperate/clingy/likes to be near people girls.

darkphantomx1 wrote:
When you're 33 and happily married, you'll come back to Wrong Planet and read your old posts and be like "yup those were the days of when I thought I was going to be forever alone" then you'll chuckle and scroll through your Iphone 20s then you'll hop on your flying car to go to work.

Just don't forget me plz. Ehh you probably won't even remember who I am 5 years from now. Oh well...

I'll be 34 and still hanging out in my moms basement still playing Runescape because my famous philosophical words are "girls are xp waste"


she might true.

for guys though I'll still be alone and look back thinking why didn't i just kill myself then. some apsie girls might too.



sly279
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06 Apr 2015, 1:27 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
sly279 wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
I have, but they always say no.


what kind of guys are you asking?

O.o

If someone like you asked me out I'd be scared at first, freeze up but i'd later say yes.
I've never been asked out ever though.


I'm asking guys that I think would be compatible with me. Guys who share similar interests and stuff.


ok what type of guys do you think are compatible.?



Lazar_Kaganovich
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06 Apr 2015, 3:21 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
sly279 wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
I have, but they always say no.


what kind of guys are you asking?

O.o

If someone like you asked me out I'd be scared at first, freeze up but i'd later say yes.
I've never been asked out ever though.


I'm asking guys that I think would be compatible with me. Guys who share similar interests and stuff.




My advice: Don't ask guys out. Just be really flirty. Also, try online dating.



Logston
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06 Apr 2015, 4:51 pm

Imo, sounds like you should give seeking out relationships a rest for a little while and maybe coming to accept yourself since you say you have low self-esteem. I think with the desperate sounding mindset you have at this point, even if you were to find a relationship, it probably wouldn't be off to a very healthy start. Do you have close friends? If not, then I'd focus your efforts there instead of a relationship.



goofygoobers
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06 Apr 2015, 6:34 pm

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
sly279 wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
I have, but they always say no.


what kind of guys are you asking?

O.o

If someone like you asked me out I'd be scared at first, freeze up but i'd later say yes.
I've never been asked out ever though.


I'm asking guys that I think would be compatible with me. Guys who share similar interests and stuff.




My advice: Don't ask guys out. Just be really flirty. Also, try online dating.


Even when I don't ask guys out, they don't want to be more than friends.



goofygoobers
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06 Apr 2015, 6:42 pm

Logston wrote:
Imo, sounds like you should give seeking out relationships a rest for a little while and maybe coming to accept yourself since you say you have low self-esteem. I think with the desperate sounding mindset you have at this point, even if you were to find a relationship, it probably wouldn't be off to a very healthy start. Do you have close friends? If not, then I'd focus your efforts there instead of a relationship.


I've focussed on finding friends too, and that didn't help. I don't have any close friends. People tend to stay VERY distant from me, even when I want to connect with them.



sly279
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06 Apr 2015, 7:36 pm

Logston wrote:
Imo, sounds like you should give seeking out relationships a rest for a little while and maybe coming to accept yourself since you say you have low self-esteem. I think with the desperate sounding mindset you have at this point, even if you were to find a relationship, it probably wouldn't be off to a very healthy start. Do you have close friends? If not, then I'd focus your efforts there instead of a relationship.



My problem with advice like this which is often given out. is go back 10 years and I was happy alone enjoying life, not having a relationship over 10 years lead me to where I am, so saying hey don't bother with relationships. well thats just going end up with me way more low self esteem then I have now. when one is sliding down a dark hole its not a good ideal to say hey just keep doing what you doing. I think its better to say hey you're falling down a hole fight it , spread your legs out and stop falling. though for dating. its people won't seek you out you have to seek them out. at least for guys.

also some people are just super romantics, born that way, live that way, die that way, can't help it if most people now a days are super independent no attachments, and therefore see the romantics as clingy/desperate.I hate that word. I'm sure if she was really desperate she could find any guy on the street, but I bet like me she wants the right person.

I've had women message me, but they aren't right for me. If i was so desperate as people say then I'd go date them just to have a girl any girl.



Bentastic197
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06 Apr 2015, 11:06 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
Logston wrote:
Imo, sounds like you should give seeking out relationships a rest for a little while and maybe coming to accept yourself since you say you have low self-esteem. I think with the desperate sounding mindset you have at this point, even if you were to find a relationship, it probably wouldn't be off to a very healthy start. Do you have close friends? If not, then I'd focus your efforts there instead of a relationship.


I've focussed on finding friends too, and that didn't help. I don't have any close friends. People tend to stay VERY distant from me, even when I want to connect with them.


We can be friends :D



hedone
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07 Apr 2015, 2:01 am

My advice is to socialize as much as possible. The more you socialize, the less difficult it will seem. It will be hard in the beginning--you may get rejected quite a bit, but you can learn from these situations and improve. You will find people with whom you are compatible--either platonically or romantically--but it may take a while.

While you are socializing, try to maintain a variety of interests and potential friends. If one person rejects you, you can always attempt to establish a relationship with someone else. If you are a student, join a club to meet new people. Also, attend public events, particularly ones where socializing with strangers is encouraged.

Good luck. :)