The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Jun 2015, 2:15 pm
Quote:
Please carry on explaining why attractive women are pickier....
Amity, look at this chart from an okcupid experiment.
Do you really believe that the 11 girl (the 1st girl) has the same options and can afford it to be as pick as the 536+ girl for example? really? Do you really believe this huge gap between the two has no influence at all in the way they pick a mate?
Let's do simple math, according to many women's complaints, a lot of guys on dating sites are as*holes, ugly and send stupid and creepy messages, let's say about 50% of the are like that. That would leave like 5 guys for the overweight girl and like 268+ guys for the attractive girl; the overweight girl would certainly have time to try out dating the 5 guys in 4 months, hell...she can try all the 11 guys in 4 months since this is the cap of her options there.
As for the attractive girl, she wouldn't be able to date all of those 268+ guys to see who's the most suitable, so she would simply filter them out in mass for the slightest fault, the first layer of filtering would be the thumbnail pictures, she would simply not respond to the guys who obviously look ugly to her in their thumbnail pics, she probably wouldn't even read their messages even if they are long enough, then the second filtering layer would be the content of their first messages, the third layer is also the photos, this time the bigger ones on their profiles which reveal more of their looks than the small thumbnails- and then comes the profile content and all the details that may contain.... writing style, hobbies, interests, heights, income range, pets..... all these can be used as filtering layers by the attractive girl - and those are all BEFORE the first interaction with the guy- let alone the filtering layers that she may have in head during the interaction with the guys and during the dates - the filtering based on personality didn't start yet at this level.
And like how Janissy explained, she would realize how many options she would have, so she would rise her standards for more effective filtering and to get the best deal.
Oh but wait...but that's not all, the attractive girl wouldn't only have okcupid as the only source of admirers - she would also have more admirers from real life, facebook and even maybe other dating sites/apps - so even more and more and more options for her.
The fat girl? How many more options she would have elsewhere? At most it would be another 11 and that's still way less than the other girl. Let alone the difference of self-worth and ego that may exist between these two girls; and the impact this may have on the pickiness of each of them (generally speaking being desired is a boost to self-worth).
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 Jun 2015, 2:30 pm, edited 4 times in total.
The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Jun 2015, 2:17 pm
30 Jun 2015, 2:54 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
Please carry on explaining why attractive women are pickier....
Amity, look at this chart from an okcupid experiment.
Do you really believe that the 11 girl (the 1st girl) has the same options and can afford it to be as pick as the 536+ girl for example? really? Do you really believe this huge gap between the two has no influence at all in the way they pick a mate?
Let's do simple math, according to many women's complaints, a lot of guys on dating sites are as*holes, ugly and send stupid and creepy messages, let's say about 50% of the are like that. That would leave like 5 guys for the overweight girl and like 268+ guys for the attractive girl; the overweight girl would certainly have time to try out dating the 5 guys in 4 months, hell...she can try all the 11 guys in 4 months since this is the cap of her options there.
As for the attractive girl, she wouldn't be able to date all of those 268+ guys to see who's the most suitable, so she would simply filter them out in mass for the slightest fault, the first layer of filtering would be the thumbnail pictures, she would simply not respond to the guys who obviously look ugly to her in their thumbnail pics, she probably wouldn't even read their messages even if they are long enough, then the second filtering layer would be the content of their first messages, the third layer is also the photos, this time the bigger ones on their profiles which reveal more of their looks than the small thumbnails- and then comes the profile content and all the details that may contain.... writing style, hobbies, interests, heights, income range, pets..... all these can be used as filtering layers by the attractive girl - and those are all BEFORE the first interaction with the guy- let alone the filtering layers that she may have in head during the interaction with the guys and during the dates - the filtering based on personality didn't start yet at this level.
And like how Janissy explained, she would realize how many options she would have, so she would rise her standards for more effective filtering and to get the best deal.
Oh but wait...but that's not all, the attractive girl wouldn't only have okcupid as the only source of admirers - she would also have more admirers from real life, facebook and even maybe other dating sites/apps - so even more and more and more options for her.
The fat girl? How many more options she would have elsewhere? At most it would be another 11 and that's still way less than the other girl. Let alone the difference of self-worth and ego that may exist between these two girls; and the impact this may have on the pickiness of each of them (generally speaking being desired is a boost to self-worth).
Perhaps this is a communication piece. I have an implicit agreement with the topic!
To me, these points are obvious, but I don't view it as clear cut, there are nuances that do not fit into your points, maybe that is what I am noticing, not everyone good looking has the options you think they do. What I cant understand is, knowing of this fickleness, why you fixate on attractiveness in your threads, to me that way of thinking can only lead to disappointment.
Ok the perfect people have more options, no surprises there... solution- move onto less than perfect people, perhaps I am missing the point, I just don't get it.
The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Jun 2015, 3:31 pm
30 Jun 2015, 4:03 pm
Oh, okay then, supermodel Vs attractive woman... the lure is totally different 
, really?
The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Jun 2015, 5:23 pm
30 Jun 2015, 5:54 pm
I didn't get the impression from the way you focus on appearance, that you would have regular standards. I actually thought that you might have a similar mindset to those attractive people! And could possibly be a clone dissing all other clones. 
Loveurself
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30 Jun 2015, 7:28 pm
Janissy wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ok, Miss Idealism; who is looks-blind and only see the inside beauty; be honest now:
Would you date a guy who is a like much shorter than you for example? (even if you are too short and they don't exist).
Bolded is reflected in what we see in chart. You think yourself you are rare for caring about personality? Nope, you aren't
But of course... he has to be at a certain bar in looks.
It is so easy for people to sound ideal behind the screen but "But this" and "But that" often reflect the tip of the reality iceberg.
Like I said, what I find attractive may not be attractive to someone else. Someone considered "unattractive" may have an award winning personality that makes them physically attractive to me. Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's easy for people to judge others based on their looks, age, sex...it's all BS.
I get A...HOLES WHO ONLY APROACH ME TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET THE "PRETTY" Girl. This whole thing is garbage. It is not easier for women who are considered attractive. This is because there are a bunch of AHs who only try to talk to them as a game/ego boost. I'm tired of it!! ! ! Like I said, I'd prefer an honest, caring, and genuine person rather than an A...H... Brad Pitt look alike. Some guys, will pretend to like women just to get something out of them and move on. Most of those AHs look for the "so called" hard to get ones/"attractive" to validate their pathetic existence.
Would you date a guy who is a like much shorter than you for example? (even if you are too short and they don't exist).
Loveurself wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
Physical beauty fades, but attractiveness can last a lifetime. I may find a person's quirks attractive that may turn others off. Personality, is what I find most attractive. Of course, I need to be somewhat physically attractive to the person, but a person's uniqueness is what makes them stand above all the rest. I get told all the time, that I am attractive, pretty, beautiful,.....etc., by random people who don't know me.
Society says that we have a shelf life, meaning, after a certain age, we become obsolete "attractive" or not. I'd like to think that I'm much more than a so called pretty face that will eventually fade.
****Beauty is in the eye of the beholder****
Someone who may not be as physically attractive to someone else, could be someone I consider my soulmate. To me, it's about the full package.
Society says that we have a shelf life, meaning, after a certain age, we become obsolete "attractive" or not. I'd like to think that I'm much more than a so called pretty face that will eventually fade.
****Beauty is in the eye of the beholder****
Someone who may not be as physically attractive to someone else, could be someone I consider my soulmate. To me, it's about the full package.
Bolded is reflected in what we see in chart. You think yourself you are rare for caring about personality? Nope, you aren't
But of course... he has to be at a certain bar in looks.
It is so easy for people to sound ideal behind the screen but "But this" and "But that" often reflect the tip of the reality iceberg.
Like I said, what I find attractive may not be attractive to someone else. Someone considered "unattractive" may have an award winning personality that makes them physically attractive to me. Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's easy for people to judge others based on their looks, age, sex...it's all BS.
I get A...HOLES WHO ONLY APROACH ME TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET THE "PRETTY" Girl. This whole thing is garbage. It is not easier for women who are considered attractive. This is because there are a bunch of AHs who only try to talk to them as a game/ego boost. I'm tired of it!! ! ! Like I said, I'd prefer an honest, caring, and genuine person rather than an A...H... Brad Pitt look alike. Some guys, will pretend to like women just to get something out of them and move on. Most of those AHs look for the "so called" hard to get ones/"attractive" to validate their pathetic existence.
I'm not saying that I don't find certain physical features attractive. I think Brad Pitt is HOT. I also think the guy from the movie Thor is HOT aka (yummy)! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
But looks fade so I need more than a pretty face to sustain a relationship. I like a guy with good character and someone who knows how to tell a good cheesy joke. And yes I perfer men taller than me, but again that is just one part of a package. And like I mentioned, a guy can be really good looking and be a real AH. What can I do with that?
This is all an example of Face-of Boo's thread starting point that "The More Attractive-Looking Woman Is The Pickier". You are attractive (per embedded anecdotes about getting hit on) and you are pickier than unattractive women. Unattractive women (or women who are plain rather than being ugly or pretty) who are serious about finding a relationship can't afford to insist on both looks and personality. They'll eagerly take the attractive a....hole you turned down because they know the attractive guy with an awesome personality will pass them by in favor of you. They'll eagerly take the unattractive guy with a good personality that you turned down because he didn't meet your minimum var of attractiveness. They may go for the unattractive guy with the terrible personality too.
You are attractive. And pickier than women who aren't unless they are willing to forego a relationship, or keep looking for a relationship with a man out of their league (but in yours) eternally.
You prefer taller men with great personalities. You can afford that pickiness. Maybe an overweight woman does too. Maybe a short man still prefers thin women. But since the short man and the overweight woman both have strikes against them, they are more likely to wind up with each other, as Face-of-Boo also observed. If they have compatible personalities and neither is an a.....hole, this could be a very happy relationship, looks do fade over time as I well know (middle aged). Both still maintain minimum bars because he is just short, not having dwarfism (would Peter Dinklage have such an attractive wife if he weren't a TV star with a very handsome face?) She is just overweight, not need-a-scooter obese.
And you are attractive and picky, just like the thread says.
You missed my point. I'm not picky regarding physical looks. I am picky in regards to personality. Yes, I like someone taller than me, but that doesn't mean I won't date someone shorter. Yes, I find certain things attractive, but what I like in a person may not be the same for you.
I am somewhat opposite of what you said. What I find attractive in people that I like, are the things that make them who they are.
I mentioned what I am physically attracted to, because I'm not blind and I have as well as everyone else, things that I find physically attractive, BUT, what I like may not be the same for you. I also don't date people based on looks alone. Overall, I am picky with men in general because there are a lot of sleaze balls out there and I don't want one of those in my life.
Also someone who is considered "unattractive" and believes it, is only hurting themselves because I'm sure there is something physically attractive about that person.
And a person dating a good looking AH just because they think that's the best they can do, is just sad. Everyone is picky and if not they need to be. That's the reason for dating. Everyone trys to find the right fit; not the whatever they can get. That's not healthy. Everyone deserves someone they like and not someone they settle for.
This post was somewhat about attractive people being really picky in the looks department. I was just saying that I'm much deeper than that.
Hey, everyone has their own opinions.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 42
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Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
01 Jul 2015, 12:52 am
Loveurself wrote:
Janissy wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ok, Miss Idealism; who is looks-blind and only see the inside beauty; be honest now:
Would you date a guy who is a like much shorter than you for example? (even if you are too short and they don't exist).
Bolded is reflected in what we see in chart. You think yourself you are rare for caring about personality? Nope, you aren't
But of course... he has to be at a certain bar in looks.
It is so easy for people to sound ideal behind the screen but "But this" and "But that" often reflect the tip of the reality iceberg.
Like I said, what I find attractive may not be attractive to someone else. Someone considered "unattractive" may have an award winning personality that makes them physically attractive to me. Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's easy for people to judge others based on their looks, age, sex...it's all BS.
I get A...HOLES WHO ONLY APROACH ME TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET THE "PRETTY" Girl. This whole thing is garbage. It is not easier for women who are considered attractive. This is because there are a bunch of AHs who only try to talk to them as a game/ego boost. I'm tired of it!! ! ! Like I said, I'd prefer an honest, caring, and genuine person rather than an A...H... Brad Pitt look alike. Some guys, will pretend to like women just to get something out of them and move on. Most of those AHs look for the "so called" hard to get ones/"attractive" to validate their pathetic existence.
Would you date a guy who is a like much shorter than you for example? (even if you are too short and they don't exist).
Loveurself wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
Physical beauty fades, but attractiveness can last a lifetime. I may find a person's quirks attractive that may turn others off. Personality, is what I find most attractive. Of course, I need to be somewhat physically attractive to the person, but a person's uniqueness is what makes them stand above all the rest. I get told all the time, that I am attractive, pretty, beautiful,.....etc., by random people who don't know me.
Society says that we have a shelf life, meaning, after a certain age, we become obsolete "attractive" or not. I'd like to think that I'm much more than a so called pretty face that will eventually fade.
****Beauty is in the eye of the beholder****
Someone who may not be as physically attractive to someone else, could be someone I consider my soulmate. To me, it's about the full package.
Society says that we have a shelf life, meaning, after a certain age, we become obsolete "attractive" or not. I'd like to think that I'm much more than a so called pretty face that will eventually fade.
****Beauty is in the eye of the beholder****
Someone who may not be as physically attractive to someone else, could be someone I consider my soulmate. To me, it's about the full package.
Bolded is reflected in what we see in chart. You think yourself you are rare for caring about personality? Nope, you aren't
But of course... he has to be at a certain bar in looks.
It is so easy for people to sound ideal behind the screen but "But this" and "But that" often reflect the tip of the reality iceberg.
Like I said, what I find attractive may not be attractive to someone else. Someone considered "unattractive" may have an award winning personality that makes them physically attractive to me. Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's easy for people to judge others based on their looks, age, sex...it's all BS.
I get A...HOLES WHO ONLY APROACH ME TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET THE "PRETTY" Girl. This whole thing is garbage. It is not easier for women who are considered attractive. This is because there are a bunch of AHs who only try to talk to them as a game/ego boost. I'm tired of it!! ! ! Like I said, I'd prefer an honest, caring, and genuine person rather than an A...H... Brad Pitt look alike. Some guys, will pretend to like women just to get something out of them and move on. Most of those AHs look for the "so called" hard to get ones/"attractive" to validate their pathetic existence.
I'm not saying that I don't find certain physical features attractive. I think Brad Pitt is HOT. I also think the guy from the movie Thor is HOT aka (yummy)! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
But looks fade so I need more than a pretty face to sustain a relationship. I like a guy with good character and someone who knows how to tell a good cheesy joke. And yes I perfer men taller than me, but again that is just one part of a package. And like I mentioned, a guy can be really good looking and be a real AH. What can I do with that?
This is all an example of Face-of Boo's thread starting point that "The More Attractive-Looking Woman Is The Pickier". You are attractive (per embedded anecdotes about getting hit on) and you are pickier than unattractive women. Unattractive women (or women who are plain rather than being ugly or pretty) who are serious about finding a relationship can't afford to insist on both looks and personality. They'll eagerly take the attractive a....hole you turned down because they know the attractive guy with an awesome personality will pass them by in favor of you. They'll eagerly take the unattractive guy with a good personality that you turned down because he didn't meet your minimum var of attractiveness. They may go for the unattractive guy with the terrible personality too.
You are attractive. And pickier than women who aren't unless they are willing to forego a relationship, or keep looking for a relationship with a man out of their league (but in yours) eternally.
You prefer taller men with great personalities. You can afford that pickiness. Maybe an overweight woman does too. Maybe a short man still prefers thin women. But since the short man and the overweight woman both have strikes against them, they are more likely to wind up with each other, as Face-of-Boo also observed. If they have compatible personalities and neither is an a.....hole, this could be a very happy relationship, looks do fade over time as I well know (middle aged). Both still maintain minimum bars because he is just short, not having dwarfism (would Peter Dinklage have such an attractive wife if he weren't a TV star with a very handsome face?) She is just overweight, not need-a-scooter obese.
And you are attractive and picky, just like the thread says.
You missed my point. I'm not picky regarding physical looks. I am picky in regards to personality. Yes, I like someone taller than me, but that doesn't mean I won't date someone shorter. Yes, I find certain things attractive, but what I like in a person may not be the same for you.
I am somewhat opposite of what you said. What I find attractive in people that I like, are the things that make them who they are.
I mentioned what I am physically attracted to, because I'm not blind and I have as well as everyone else, things that I find physically attractive, BUT, what I like may not be the same for you. I also don't date people based on looks alone. Overall, I am picky with men in general because there are a lot of sleaze balls out there and I don't want one of those in my life.
Also someone who is considered "unattractive" and believes it, is only hurting themselves because I'm sure there is something physically attractive about that person.
And a person dating a good looking AH just because they think that's the best they can do, is just sad. Everyone is picky and if not they need to be. That's the reason for dating. Everyone trys to find the right fit; not the whatever they can get. That's not healthy. Everyone deserves someone they like and not someone they settle for.
This post was somewhat about attractive people being really picky in the looks department. I was just saying that I'm much deeper than that.
Hey, everyone has their own opinions.
You are the one who keeps missing her point.
What she meant, that even you care way more about personality, you still have way more options of PERSONALITIES to pick from than the unattractive woman.
And I simply don't believe your claim of your willingness to date a shorter guy (and since you have many options, why would you)- nice try though.
I think you will get Janissy's point only when you get old and lose your beauty; only then you would understand what she meant.
01 Jul 2015, 3:52 am
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
01 Jul 2015, 10:22 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And I simply don't believe your claim of your willingness to date a shorter guy (and since you have many options, why would you)- nice try though.
Why is this so difficult for you to believe when people say it? We're not lying.
Personally, I would ONLY date a guy that's shorter than me. Not a foot shorter, but shorter than me for sure. There's bound to be girls out there that feel the same way about their height criteria for attraction - and most girls are shorter than I am (6'2) so there's bound to be plenty of them a-ok with a 5'2 guy.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 42
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Posts: 33,114
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
01 Jul 2015, 11:36 am
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And I simply don't believe your claim of your willingness to date a shorter guy (and since you have many options, why would you)- nice try though.
Why is this so difficult for you to believe when people say it? We're not lying.
Personally, I would ONLY date a guy that's shorter than me. Not a foot shorter, but shorter than me for sure. There's bound to be girls out there that feel the same way about their height criteria for attraction - and most girls are shorter than I am (6'2) so there's bound to be plenty of them a-ok with a 5'2 guy.
You are a guy - nothing you say reflects girls' general preferences for height.
I have never heard a girl saying she would ONLY date shorter guys - but I hear a lot saying only taller.
01 Jul 2015, 8:16 pm
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And I simply don't believe your claim of your willingness to date a shorter guy (and since you have many options, why would you)- nice try though.
Why is this so difficult for you to believe when people say it? We're not lying.
Yeah, it can actually be true, Boo, whether you believe it or not. I HAVE dated guys shorter than me, despite preferring to date people a little taller than me. There's a simple reason why, and you've gone halfway to answering it yourself. If I have a number of options of men I'm attracted to, I'm not going to choose the one that has the best height, I'm going to choose the one who has the best personality. If I'm already attracted to a bunch of men who are chasing after me (let's pretend that that happens), then it is definitely the PERSONALITY that wins out. Definitely.
And you clarified earlier that you were talking about all-round pickiness...looks, personality, whatever, so I don't understand why you are disputing women's claims that they might be picky about personality over looks.
OliveOilMom
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Age: 60
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Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
01 Jul 2015, 11:05 pm
Whats wrong with being picky? If you could have any girl you wanted would you honestly just go for the one with the body type you don't much care for or who isn't that attractive or who has the boring or annoying personality or the gal who can't cook to save her life, etc?
Nobody goes for the worst one they can find. There is nothing wrong with trying to get the best you can get.
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
01 Jul 2015, 11:39 pm
OliveOilMom
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01 Jul 2015, 11:54 pm
darkphantomx1 wrote:
Yah but if you look like a walking trashcan with sh***y social skills, of course you're not going to have your standards so high. You'd probably be willing to date almost anyone who shows an interest.
You can do something about how you look and your social skills. How you look is easier to fix, but social skills are a learned skill as well. You actually described me to a t until I met some girls in school to decided to actually help me out and teach me how to look and act. They became best friends and I'm forever grateful. I still keep in touch with them. It was hard to do but I did it and even if you can't be great at it, you can be better than you are now.
Thats what gets me about a lot of people here who complain about being alone. They know whats wrong with them and why they aren't attractive to the opposite (or same) sex, but they just won't do anything about it, or they tried before and didn't see results fast enough so they quit. It takes a good bit of time and a lot of patience and dedication, but it's very worth it. Very worth it. I was so much worse than you could imagine back then and had so many problems too. I am not saying I learned to cure my AS or anything, not hardly. I learned to work around it and pass for NT and it became second nature. Now I don't even think about it, that's just who I am.
If you don't try to change anything about yourself then you will never get different results. The worst that can happen is that things will stay the same, but at least by trying something you have a chance for a different outcome. I just don't understand why people refuse to try.
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
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