Anyone ever turn down free sex?

Post Reply New Topic

I have an okcupid...no sexy pictures or anything, I think I have it listed I am open to casual sex on there somewhere, but either way I haven't gotten 100s of offers from many kinds of guys just lining up for the chance of sex. If not getting 100s of messeges asking for sex puts me in a horribly unlucky minority gotta say its not so bad....and in some cases I know my looks/dress style is a repellent and prefer it that way.

Seems many guys on this thread need to take the 'girls are the same' out of their head as well.

Gay guys can get more sex than straight guys because you are both guys. A gay guy friend explained that a long time ago. But, just because you can get it doesn't mean you necessarily want it because just like for girls, while you can always get dick it may not be the dick you want, clean dick, smart dick, good looking dick, not a serial killer dick, etc. So, unless you just want sex bad enough that you just pick the best one you can find, it's best to hold out for what you want.

I've seen your pics on here and you are a pretty girl. You can't get laid whenever you want right now because you aren't putting yourself in the right places for that to happen. You are around people who probably respect you or like you and don't want to just find somebody to bone. But, if you could stand to be around me for an entire evening (I'm a lot nicer and more fun in person, I promise) and we were in the same state, if you let me pick out your clothes, and no nothing slu*ty or skanky, and do your hair and a little makeup and go out with me to the bar of my choosing and hang with me for the evening, I guarandamntee you would have more offers to go home with a guy than you think. And while that may not seem to be what you meant when you said you can't whenever you want, most of us can when we want if we put out a little more effort than we wish we had to and drove our horny asses to the right watering hole and put out the right vibe. While you aren't my age and don't need to put forth the effort I need to, I think you said you don't wear makeup or do hair a lot and the kind of place I'm going and to pick up a guy, that is what you would need.

Now, I'm sure there are tons of place out there of other genre's where you can pick up guys and it's not the kind of place I'm talking about and it's done differently. I however do not know them, I only know from my experience.

But I guarantee you that you could if we went out for a girls night and you did what I told you. Don't sell yourself short, you are smart, you are pretty, you are young, and you seem to be friendly when you want to be and know how to handle yourself. You so could get laid whenever you wanted to for the most part. Again though, the dislcaimer, your choices are not always great. I said laid, not bedded by a Chippendales dancer or a Johnny Depp look alike lol. But it also doesn't have to be Micky Rourke in Spun or Dog the Bounty Hunter either. But Micky Rourke in Spun was pretty damn hot in a white trash outlaw kinda way. If I was single I'd go out with him a few times.

Nobody is gonna get a hundred except for those little hardbody 22 year olds with the curly long hair extensions, the Kim Kardashian eye makeup, the cursive forearm tattoo that they will regret in five years, selfies with pouty lips and overdone nails, 90% of her wardrobe has s**t written on the butt, and she's probably got either a coke or meth habit that costs her more than her weekly check from the convenience store and it's all paid for by those hundreds of guys who want sex. Here is a hint, she doesn't have sex with them all, either the guy gets too f****d up or she picks a fight. She's a skank but not a slut. My best friend was one of those, I am very, very familiar. Except she was the cougar version and got more guys actually. I don't get that.

But yeah. No, regular girls will get several. Maybe 20 something if your selfie is cute and you word things in a way that somebody could in any way whatsoever twist into meaning something dirty in his head. Yeah, about 20 something. You have to put it out there to get a bite though. If you don't then you don't have as many choices and you also don't make as many friends. I'm good friends with quite a few of the guys I used to date and their girlfriends and wives etc. They know my huband and kids too. I've met other friends through them. So, just because it starts out with him being nasty doesn't mean it's going to always be that way or that he can't be nice on down the road.

Like FB says, 90% of your selfie is your hair. The other 10 is your eyes lol. For dating sites, add in boobs. You're good to go then.

Well yes I am sure that is probable....lol but certainly a better idea with another person, I guess I meant I can't just get up, jump out of bed go walking down the street and have guys lining up asking for sex. I know things I could do and certain settings I can put myself in where I am likely to find an opportunity for such endeavors. Though I do have to wonder where some of the people i know get the energy for all the sex they have....good god. But yeah as for general looks I could say I have rather varied taste I do find Johnny Depp attractive and I find guys in metal bands who look like vikings beard and all attractive much of the time...I certainly do not think only skinny guys are attractive either, for instance I find the actor Jack Black is pretty attractive and I think he'd look weird if he was skinny..same with this guy I dated who things did not end up working out with.

Well of course I don't...that would kind of be misleading since I am not really after sex per say, doubt I could take a sexy picture if I tried, hard enough to just get a decent one of my face. But perhaps just for experimental purposes like a social experiment I might test your theory. But I more am interested in dating with the chance of forming a relationship at this point or making friends but of course I realize the focus of a 'dating' site is to find dates...there are probably other sites more geared towards meeting new friends and what not that aren't focused on dating. Also it would seem any time I have sex with a guy the first time we meet up things don't work out....even my brother said its best to hold off at least for the first date if I am looking for anything serious. And I think he knows what he's talking about when it comes to that.

Yes, Jack Black is hot. He seems like he's up to something. He kind of reminds me of John Belushi that way, and I know a lot may say that because they have the same build, but it's not his build that reminds me of him. He also reminds me of this guy who was kind of almost exactly that look but back in the 1981 who I had a huge crush on that I was in school with. He was also not very popular and kind of a nerd and a bit overweight and with big frizzy hair and a huge toothy grin and very socially awkward. But he could SHRED on guitar and I was hanging out with a group of guys at that point, and he was in this "band" they were putting together with them and I fell for him hard. I even made a bet with my best guy friend and ringer that I could get him, even just get him to sleep with me, he didn't have to date me but I wanted him to, and I lost that bet. Dammit. What they say is true, you regret the things you didn't do in life more lol. Chuck is one of those things lol.

I've gone out with several guys who were not what most guys who post here would thing are good looking. And a whole lot of the good looking ones I went out with were absolute losers. No jobs, sat around and drank or got high all day, or were just f*****g stupid and not in a special way that there is an excuse for, just f*****g stupid, or they were know it all jock douchebags who were fun at first but you can only drink so much beer every f*****g night and hanging out with the same group and doing everything with them constantly is a no, and some musicians and some actual regular guys.

Of course the first guy I married is not in prison in Mississippi for murder so I'm not THAT good a judge of character but he's fairly typical of the type of loser I dated. I've dated a lot of guys who are either away now or have been away. There are some that I'm still sure will one day be away. Not all of them though.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, these guys are not right when it comes to my taste. And the ones saying that the guy has to have a good job or be hot or have money for the girl to like him is wrong too. Been there, done that many times and my best friend is with one of them now. Been with this as*hole skinhead for two years and he got her on gear and now she's off but he won't work, he's ugly as sin and has about half his teeth and he's jealous and hits her and she is a very beautiful girl and smart in other ways just as important as intellect. She never picks winners. I rarely did. I know lots of girls who don't. There is just something about a douchebag redneck guy that makes certain girls go all stupid over him. A lot of guys on L&D who do what I talked about could probably honestly be pretty good at being redneck douchebag guys and then they would get p**** and to lay around getting high all day with their friends. It's actually not hard to be that and it's something most just end up as when nothing else works out. I don't suggest it, but it could work for some.

Anyway, I totally get you about Jack Black. And don't tell anybody but I also think Dog is hot lol. Yep, I do. If I was single, not only would I date Micky Rourke from Spun, I would date Dog. Oh! I also want to date the hispanic guy from Spun if I was single, Spider Mike his name was. I didn't like his character there too much but did like him as the Dr in ER. If I was single I mean.

Another not too good looking in a for real kind of way but so hot guy is "Tig" from Sons of Anarchy. So is Chibs, and he's older and got two big scars across his face. However, the ones who predict that the chicks pick the alpha dog always will lose on this one because I did not like Clay on that show and never thought that actor was good looking. That guy played Hellboy and also played the Beast in Beauty and the Beast in the early 90s or late 80s I believe. The other two you have to look up. Of course Jax is the hottest and the one I'd choose if I could have any of them but I'd know I couldn't cause he's out of my league so I'd probably go for Tig first and then maybe Chibs. Don't like Opie and Juice reminds me of a kid. I do like Happy though, maybe him instead for real. But my point is none of those actors that I'd pick with the exception of Happy is what would be considered handsome, or even above average. It's how the characters are written that make them appealing. And it's not the things that you would normally think that would appeal to girls that appeal to me.

So, I'll shut up now. I just got to thinking when you said Jack Black. I'm espresso'd up on top of insomnia. Trying to get some energy to go with my wide awakeness against my will.

Ooooh let me help! I wanna help write your ad and help you pick out your photo. And what to wear. And your hair.

Also about the sleeping with them too soon thing, I agree. I waited for six months with my husband (the real one not the as*hole I was married to for a year and a half when I was 18 to get out of the house). By that time it was more than a hookup.


ETA: OMG we can do one with me too without makeup or with bad makeup so I don't look like me. Fake name, looking for younger guys, all sloppy drunk cougar type. I bet I'd get some hits on it, even not looking good but looking passable and easy. I'm up for it. PM me. You got FB?

That's not much less of a reason for most men unless they plan to run away if she gets pregnant and hope they don't get caught by the police or a furious mob of family members and friends of hers. If you're a responsible man, you stay with her, help her as well as you can and face whatever comes your way, so you have a lot to lose, too.



I've never suggested anything like that. You seem to feel attacked by the post you quoted, which is unfortunate, because I intended to talk respectfully about my impressions from my extremely limited experience, without telling anyone what to do. I certainly don't want anyone to have sex with me against their will; that's why I accept I'll never have it and it's noöne's fault but mine.



I think there's a big difference. The only reason I might reject it from a woman in the appropriate age range and not very unattractive is that I've learned to distrust her a lot, precisely because I know she doesn't really want to have sex with me, while I sure as hell do want to have it with her.

I've turned down free sex plenty of times. It's easier to do once you have a girlfriend or wife, and regardless of whether or not you do, you tend to be a little more perceptive because where some people genuinely want sex, some use it as a weapon. I've had someone threaten me with sex, and I left her taking care of herself. As soon as I had her as a girlfriend, a woman offered to go down on me to which I openly denied because 1) I had a girlfriend, 2) I didn't know her or her condition body-wise and 3) I was going to miss my bus back then. I've had plenty of chances to get some anytime I wanted, but I was able to save it for my woman.

I do admit that I feel guilt afterwards, but the reasoning is wholly selfish. Still, it takes a real grown man to turn down sex on their own free will, regardless of how much you might want.

Or maybe they just don't want to make fools of themselves by making such an offer, which they know would make them look horrible and probably offend you. This is what I do. I've never told a woman I'd like to have sex with her, but, judging by the frequent disdainful looks I get when I make accidental eye contact with them, it's pretty obvious they know just how much I'd like it, and this probably makes me very despicable in their eyes.

Besides being offensive, it seems completely pointless to me to tell a woman I'd like to have sex with her, because, at best, it'd be a very annoying statement of the obvious.

Couple of comments. First, not every guy is nice or decent and those don't care if they piss you off. They figure the chance of them getting lucky is more important than pissing off a stranger they will probably never see again and they take the chance. Determined and brave little f*****s, huh? Also, that kind of s**t works with certain girls. There are girls who like that approach and it makes them feel they are being rebels or dangerous or whatever it is they want to be. So they go screw the strange guy and hope he doesn't kill them in their sleep, if he's even decent enough to let them sleep over.

Strange story. One time when I had just broke up with the guy I dated seriously before I met my husband and before I had ever even started working where I met my husband I was very upset and went to the park where we all hung out. I had JUST BROKE UP WITH HIM that afternoon because he wouldn't stop screwing his ex gf and then taking me over to hang out with her parents cause they were "so cool" cause they grew weed and got killer hash. It was to see that b***h, cause she was there. Anyway, I was upset. Very, very upset and it was about 1983 and it was kind of a drug park and we would drink in public there and I had a bottle of tequila and I was sitting on the wall talking to Demolition Dave about my troubles. We had been planning on all making kitchen crank that evening but I wasn't up for it. Then Rodney came by to see what was up.

Rodney was a ho basically and f****d everything he could and he was hot and I had always had one eye on him even when I was dating the guy I knew was just "transition man" after my divorce. Well Rodney paid me some attention but I think it was mostly due to my tequila at first and Demolition Dave politely went away and we talked and then ended up spending the night at Franks place and the next morning I figured I had blown the whole idea of dating him because I remembered embarrassing bits and pieces of the previous night and couldn't find my underwear anywhere. Then I remembered I had fallen down his basement stairs, naked trying to find the bathroom drunk and landed in about four feet of beer cans. I was trying to sneak away and never come back there again when he woke up. He didn't want me to leave, he liked me. We dated for quite a few months. I actually had the hottest guy in the park (junkie, no job, no ambition at all) until I decided that I wanted a guy with a job too since I had gotten one. And I eventually found a decent one at that very job and married him. But, that is my story of how just a guy wanting sex ended up as a sort of relationship that we were both happy with for a very little while.

I know Rodneys brother and he's on my FB today. Rodney is now a preacher. He got saved at some Christian rock concert he went to with a chick he was trying to bang and it stuck. Or he stuck with it. He's an honest to God preacher and married to a different Christian girl. Totally different guy from who I dated.

Anyhoo, this is a totally different topic now. I want to ask you if you have done everything you can to make yourself more attractive to girls, and have you done this while also having feedback from girls so you know you are doing the right thing? That can help so much that you wouldn't believe. Small things can make huge changes.

Like I've said to some otehr guys, I'll be glad to help and advise where I can and maybe help you get out from under this. I had to do the exact same overhaul to myself as a teenager and I didn't even know I had AS, I thought I was just f****d up all weird and s**t.

So, I'll help if I can and I'll give you honest advice and ideas to change what I'd think you should change and I can even ask my girls too. They are 21 and 19 this month.

Ding ding ding. That and I've had plenty of hookup sex over the years. It's generally so easy to get laid that at this point in my life I don't even want to. Classic economics; everyone wants what they can't have. I'd rather hold out to hookup with someone who is really my type or better yet to go on a date with someone who is really really my type.

That, combined with being busy busy busy with work and volunteer work, is why I haven't bothered with sex for the last few months. Also, because I'm a bit envious of my friends who are dating now and eventually want that for myself.

I'm married too, but still waiting to become grandpa.

"Free sex"?

My oldest is 26 and when he was 21 he apparantly rented his soul to Satan and moved in with her. She literally drove him crazy. She convinced him I attacked her with knives standing in front of him and he just doesn't remember it. He also can't answer why wasn't the b***h cut then either. She got him to not talk to me or most of his family for four years and only when she needed some money which only I could engineer to happen did she get him to start talking to me. He was so in love with her and she cheated on him with dozens of guys, she ADMITTED THIS TO HIM, in thier house and they were his "friends" most of the time. He finally left her and cried every night for months and I know this because he lived here and stayed drunk. They had a baby the first year they were together. She got pregnant when he was 21. She also drove her ex husband crazy. Literally crazier than she did my son. He was in the Army and went nuts and they kicked him out and then they got back together and she worked more of her luciferian charm on him and then she dumped him and he blew his brains out.

He's with a different girl now, who is normal and who I like. She's from California but not mean about it. She's way cool. We actually talk to one another and hang out and get along one on one even without him and not about him. She's told him if they break up she's still coming to hang with his mother. That's fine, I like her. She's cool. He's doing absolutely great now and has a great job and they have a house and they have my grandbaby for two weeks and the devil has her for two weeks.

The devil who is 30 btw, is now living with my younger son's 18yo friend who used to hang out here with him when he still lived at home. Thats where she met him. So, yeah.

Thats how I became a grandmother. She also said she couldn't have babies.

My other kids use birth control. They aren't stupid and don't believe Satan.

I shouldn't talk so bad about Satan though, he's not that bad and did nothing to me personally. I should never compare him to that thing. Thats too bad even for him.

I'm so glad my grandbaby is with him for half the month though. She's in a clean house with structure to her life. His gf used to be a daycare teacher before she moved here. She could do it now but she's being a "housewife" and has a part time job doing something or other whenever she wants to and needs the cash. Something with grocery stores.