13 Aug 2015, 5:42 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,118
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
13 Aug 2015, 5:49 am
nurseangela wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
What the hell is this polyamory crap? If your bf/husband is flirting with other women and you say to him please stop doing that because it hurts me - then he better damn well stop or he's out the door. Simple as that. He should be texting and flirting with his gf throughout the day and not other women. Having Aspergers is no excuse. If he's told that something like this bothers you he can make the decision to stop and stay in the relationship or continue and get out if the relationship. I wouldn't put up with that BS.
I agree with you 100%. If I am in a relationship, I don't want to compete with other people for their love and attention. While it's perfectly natural to be attracted to other people, there are certain lines you don't cross, when you are in a relationship. It seems like he doesn't understand that concept too well...
Where has real love gone? It's just so disheartening.
It died when women started seeing men as ATMs and valuing them by money... (HINT FOR YOU
)
This kind if crappy comment I'm not even going to answer anymore. Guys who think like this better get used to the women of today being able to be more choosy about wanting a man who is financially stable and who is more their "equal" in monetary means as well as in other ways. It seems I'm only getting flack from men who don't make as much as myself which to me comes across as jealousy on their part. As another guy in another thread said "Why would a person want to marry down and to someone who isn't their equal?" And what I really find funny is that a person will knock me down for wanting a guy who is financially stable and call me every name in the book, but think its ok for them to have a relationship with several women. How shallow and egotistical is that?!
When I hear a woman over-talks about financial stability, she usually turns out to be a gold-digger or at least, too valuing money over anything in men.
The demand of "he must be equal financially or MORE" is usually a sure sign for that - as if, what if his salary got reduced to less than yours during marriage (and couldn't find better anytime soon), you stop loving him? Meh.
Look Boo, I've already answered all if that, but you and others just want to pull out of my comments what YOU want to believe I'm saying. I have already said I want someone financially as stable as myself in case I were to lose my job (and I did last year). If they lost theirs, then of course I would do all I had to to maintain the lifestyle we had together and my job allows for me to do that. They would also have to be actively looking for a job too - just like I did when I found myself unemployed. I want the same lifestyle that I am living now, as well as, having a Hunny to share that with me. I wouldn't be happy if I had to live differently from the way I'm living now and if that to you is snobbish then so be it. I have worked hard for what I have and I want someone who also believes in working hard and who has goals in their life and who wants to better themselves - like me. I know what I want in a partner and I'm not going to settle. Any man who feels confident in themselves and what they are doing in their life should find nothing wrong with the way I think.
I see a lot of this s**t in life btw, when a woman loses her job, the man usually don't leave her for that and never puts a deadline on her to find a job, I've never seen men doing that, even if that means a bit sacrifice of a certain lifestyle, but when the opposite happens, the woman puts a deadline on the man and would even leave him for that.
So in other word, if your man loses his job, or his salary got reduced he has to find another before a deadline, and it has to have a salary SAME or MORE...or else, no more love, it's time to love ANOTHER MAN who is 'financially stable'! ! That defeats the "REAL LOVE" that you are so complaining why it doesn't exist anymore
.And as for him finding another job that pays the same or more - isn't that what one expects when looking for another job? However, no I wouldn't expect that, but I would expect him to be actively looking for a better job and not just sitting around watching TV or playing video games while the unemployment checks came in. That's the problem with unemployment because one makes more on unemployment than working the lower paying jobs that are out there now. So yes, he would have to be actively looking for a job that paid the same or more otherwise we'd end up losing our home and that just isn't an option for me.
This is why I stress how important it is to have a degree and it is why I am going back to school for a higher degree. Yes, I would like my Hunny to have a degree, but again this is not something that I wouldn't expect of myself. Thats why I'm going back to college. There's just too much competition out there in this crappy economy.
And why you would lose your home if you didn't lose your job too , you right now, in this moment, have a house of your own and yet you don't have a man, what the presence of a man would change much in this?
Or when you get a man, the new house should be more fancy and double in value than the one you currently have?
I would love to have a house. I live in a condo now and I can't stand people this close to me. Who doesn't want a home better than the one they have? However, my condo is almost paid off so me and my Hunny could pool our money together and get a much better place. Yes, I would love that! Hence another reason to find someone who is my equal.
Ahhhh it's so funny how you ladies reveal your true colors when someone corners you with questions
.So the main reason why you so want a man who MUST be financially equal or more, is not because you want to preserve the living conditions and lifestyle that you worked so hard to achieve, but because he would be a mean for you to get better living conditions and a better lifestyle.
Nothing that he wouldn't be enjoying himself and I'd probably be adding most of the downpayment, dude. See, you're trying to find a flaw in my logic, but there isn't one - so stop trying.
The problem is that most men at my age already have a lot of baggage - alimony and child support. I have none of that and I don't want any part of it. I'd like to find someone like me and that means that they'd probably have to be younger than me. I already know I'm a minority. I have planned my whole life so that I'm able to support myself should I ever have to get a divorce. I am so against getting a divorce that I know what I must have first so that the likelihood of a divorce is extremely low. It's no secret that most divorces are caused by money matters. I'm a realist. I'm not going to put myself in a bad circumstance from the beginning - with a person who hasn't planned for hardship like I have - and that means finding someone who has an education, a decent job and no baggage.
Quote:
It's no secret that most divorces are caused by money matters.
Most probably because many women have your mindset.
It's also no secret that most divorces are initiated by women.
Quote:
Nothing that he wouldn't be enjoying himself and I'd probably be adding most of the downpayment, dude.
From the way you so insist for a man to have an equal or more than your salary, I highly doubt you would do that, you would most probably demand an equal or more downpayment from his part.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,118
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
13 Aug 2015, 5:54 am
nurseangela wrote:
rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
A LOT of men do it, a LOT of men support their wives for the rest of their lives (with extra hours work and even working abroad), even after their death.
I kind of do. I find it amazing that women wouldn't put up with that, but I believe you have a point.
And that's your choice. No one forces you to stay in that relationship. There must be perks for you or you wouldn't do it.
Or there's real love (that thing that you so claim to value), or is it just a matter of perks for you?
13 Aug 2015, 6:16 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
A LOT of men do it, a LOT of men support their wives for the rest of their lives (with extra hours work and even working abroad), even after their death.
I kind of do. I find it amazing that women wouldn't put up with that, but I believe you have a point.
And that's your choice. No one forces you to stay in that relationship. There must be perks for you or you wouldn't do it.
Or there's real love (that thing that you so claim to value), or is it just a matter of perks for you?
I expect all the perks - including love. Why? Because I'm worth it!
13 Aug 2015, 6:16 am
13 Aug 2015, 6:18 am
13 Aug 2015, 6:22 am
13 Aug 2015, 6:25 am
13 Aug 2015, 6:29 am
nurseangela wrote:
I expect all the perks - including love. Why? Because I'm worth it!
1. Love is not a perk
2. I suppose by worth it you mean "entitled to"??
13 Aug 2015, 6:47 am
13 Aug 2015, 6:50 am
rdos wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
I expect all the perks - including love. Why? Because I'm worth it!
1. Love is not a perk
2. I suppose by worth it you mean "entitled to"??
Damn right I'm worth it. I put my all into a relationship and I expect the same in return.
13 Aug 2015, 6:51 am
rdos wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
I totally agree. Who stays in a relationship if they aren't getting something out of it?
What a strange view of love. I thought you wanted real love, and now you expect something out of a potential partner? The only thing I find relevant in a relationship is attachment, and if that is there, it is all I need. I don't need to get something out of it.
Of course people expect a partner to meet their needs.
The focus of this discussion seems to focus on finances, but there are less material needs. Enjoyable company, emotional support, and sexual relations are examples.
13 Aug 2015, 7:18 am
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
rdos wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
I totally agree. Who stays in a relationship if they aren't getting something out of it?
What a strange view of love. I thought you wanted real love, and now you expect something out of a potential partner? The only thing I find relevant in a relationship is attachment, and if that is there, it is all I need. I don't need to get something out of it.
Of course people expect a partner to meet their needs.
The focus of this discussion seems to focus on finances, but there are less material needs. Enjoyable company, emotional support, and sexual relations are examples.
Finances: I would do better alone
Company: I like being by myself, so I wouldn't miss company a lot
Emotional support: I can go to parents, friends, kids or even online for that
Sex: I could go to a hooker if I needed sex.
So, no reason to seek a relationship for any of those "needs".
13 Aug 2015, 7:26 am
13 Aug 2015, 7:30 am
13 Aug 2015, 7:31 am
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
rdos wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
I totally agree. Who stays in a relationship if they aren't getting something out of it?
What a strange view of love. I thought you wanted real love, and now you expect something out of a potential partner? The only thing I find relevant in a relationship is attachment, and if that is there, it is all I need. I don't need to get something out of it.
Of course people expect a partner to meet their needs.
The focus of this discussion seems to focus on finances, but there are less material needs. Enjoyable company, emotional support, and sexual relations are examples.
The focus of this discussion was not supposed to be about finances, I was trying to get advice on my relationship. I don't focus on materialistic things sure I'd love the big house and the expensive things but what truly matters to me is to feel loved and safe in a relationship. To know that I'm the one through thick and thin!
Shortly after my boyfriend moved in with me he lost his job and this didn't change how I felt about him, he was still the same person he had just hit a rough patch. I was happy to support us (not support him because we're a team) through until he found new employment. I'm not saying it was easy all the time but I'd never put money before love.
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Autism-Friendly App Concept |
09 Dec 2024, 8:00 pm |
| 71% of Quebecers no longer see the United States as friendly |
Yesterday, 5:31 pm |
| Boyfriend doesn't butter to the edges.... |
28 Dec 2024, 6:16 am |
| Autistic and homeless |
04 Feb 2025, 2:35 pm |
