Why do women do this?

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It's impossible to answer that on the internet. People give off vibes, regardless of smiling, frowning, posture, or clothing. And that vibe has far more influence over the response you'll get than the other stated things.

Wow...what's this magical 'invisible' "vibe" then that people give-off?

I didn't just mean those factors, I mean nearly every factor. Posture, tone of voice, facial expression, movement co-ordination. Everything YOU are responsible for expressing.

Factors you can't control are how physically attractive one finds you, the time of day (lighting, etc.) angle from where the other person is, how much trouble they encountered earlier in the day, etc.

So some people just give off a 'negative vibe' irregardless of how much they try to just come across and look normal?

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

Is it really that much of a complicated question I'm asking? Say you, a female, my age, or i'm your age, and at a party I'm dressed the way I am. I see you with the slit of my eye, and you glance at me very briefly. In that time I slightly turn my body towards you, relax my posture slightly but keep it confident, and smile lightly. No winking, none of that stuff. Just a light smile and slight position adjustment to indicate 'Yes, I'm looking and smiling at you, and angling my body towards you to indicate I am perhaps interested in a conversation, judging by your reaction I will approach or go about my business again.' Even if you didn't find my attractive, would you be capable of reacting politely and not letting it get to you? What about your teenage self (16/17)?

I agree with Spiderpig. A male only can find success if she finds him attractive from the get-go, which is usually what i try and do - scope out females that are already attracted to me physically, as I only like to approach when it's mutual.

This 'secret ultra hidden vibe' is just whether the person finds you attractive or not. It's suprising just what I've found I can get away with if a female sees me and finds me attractive first. That girl that was looking at me at Mcdonalds I was looking back frequently just to make sure she was looking, and I didn't smile, in fact I think I looked a bit negative/pissed off but that didn't put her off. I didn't specifically give her the 'death stare', I just looked pissed off about something else. She shyly looked away once I caught her but that was it.

Also, I don't meant to strawman. Is this an invisible vibe you're talking about, or the factors that you cannot control?

DEATH TO CAPTCHA

This is where video footage, preferably unknown to the glancer as well as the glanced, would come in handy. Do any of you have family or friends who can help you with this? I'd suggest recording yourself, or using a mirror, but if you don't know what you're looking for it wouldn't help, and it may require a given stimlus to get a given response. There may well be something unintentionally unnerving in your expression, or indeed 'vibe'.

Of course, you can only account for your own behaviour. If you're looking around to get your bearings, or just because you like your surroundings, and your focus passes across someone and they scowl at you for it - don't take it personally. They may have good reason to come to the misunderstanding, but some people are just jerks.

When I'm out and about, and not watching the pavement for dogshit, I'm taking in my surroundings. I like the surroundings here - they suit and ease my mind. There's the mountains and landscape and some really interesting buildings, and then there's the systems of telegraph poles and electric pylons and guttering/water courses, all of which make my mind happy. Unless I'm lost in thought, or something I'm listening to.

If I'm walking along and am about to pass an individual I don't know (though have likely seen about) on an otherwise deserted street, the done thing is brief eye contact, a brief smile, a small nod of the head, and a 'hiya'. It's not expected for groups of people to engage, nor for kids under, say, 17. Though if there's a group of kids, and you don't know the kids' parents, they may well engage in sniggering as you pass, because of the inherent hilarity of being older than 17. If you do know their parents, they'll wait til they think you're out of earshot before sniggering.

I don't tend to glance at people beyond that brief eye contact unless I sort-of recognise them, to double check if it's a friend of my mother-in-laws and so an acquaintence to me, so needing to be sure to say 'hello', with a possible rudimentary 'how are you' exchange as we pass.

So as to keep people from interacting with me, and because having headphones in won't stop some people from approaching and trying to strike up a conversation, I try and convey a 'busy' look, a sense that, when looking around, I'm looking for something or someone in particular and it's not whoever happens to look at me the moment my gaze briefly alights upon them. This is usually actually the case, and I am focused on a task/matter at hand, but sometimes it isn't. Either way, where there is this momentary eye contact, I offer a 'I'm busy but, having made eye contact, recognise the need to convey I have no intentions toward you, let alone ill ones, so have this brief upturn of the mouth that just about counts as a smile' smile.

Now, the 'glance' y'all speak of here is, I presume, one that has a different experience and intention for you than glancing at your watch to check the time. That is, I get the idea that (for some at least) the glance in question is an 'eyeing up' one. That's something more than a glance at your watch, and will convey certain signals. If you are eyeing someone up, you'll be conveying overtones of sexual interest. If you hold this for more than the briefest of moments and/or don't follow up pretty quickly with an actual physical approach/verbal interaction, many will find it creepy. And I can understand why.

Attractiveness sort of comes into it. But remember, attractiveness is not the same as being 'good looking' or 'hot' etc. If the person you're eyeing up also likes the look of you, they will (obviously) be more likely to welcome it. But again, that can quickly turn sour if all you're doing is looking at them.

The problem for Aspies is this happens in a matter of seconds. Without a social instinct, and having to consciously be aware of what you and your glanced are conveying to each other can take a fair bit longer than that and leave the glanced feeling uneasy. If you do then approach, you may be able to dispel this unease, but ufortunately, you may not.

It's a pisser.

That guy in that picture looks creepy. He is leering, not smiling with his eyes.

He looks sort of like Jack Nicholson when he is sizing up somebody.

I dunno. I wouldn't go around looking at the ground---but I wouldn't stare at somebody, either.

If you look at somebody for more than a couple of seconds, a "hello" would get a better response than continued staring.

No, women don't think that just by looking at them you will rape them in their sleep.

Generally staring at people and not talking to them makes them uncomfortable.

And that somehow translates to women collectively dislike men? Because some women scowl at you if you glance at them?

What makes it blatantly obvious you want some kind of intimacy with them? Something tells me there is more than dirty looks for normally glancing at a woman going on here based on that statement.

I think a lot people already explained it well here
Its just rude, creepy and make people feel uncomfortable. So dont do it >>

To paraphrase a Supreme Court judge, creepy's hard to define but you know it when you see it. When the hairs on the back of my neck stand up... well, that dude is creepy.

Neverending captcha strikes again. I’ll try atomizing my post …

----------------------------------------------- Sweetleaf wrote: -----------------------------------------------
What makes it blatantly obvious you want some kind of intimacy with them?
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How could it be anything but blatantly obvious that a desperate loser, starved of female company for his whole life, would die for a chance to have some kind of intimacy with almost any woman about his age he meets? Note that, quite unlike them, he can’t afford to be picky. If it’s not blatantly obvious that someone dying of thirst in the desert wants water, I don’t know what is.

Last edited by Spiderpig on 18 Jan 2016, 11:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

----------------------------------------------- Sweetleaf wrote: -----------------------------------------------
Something tells me there is more than dirty looks for normally glancing at a woman going on here based on that statement.
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Yeah, feel free to just assume I’m a liar instead of considering my point, but that’s your business only.