Friendzone

Post Reply New Topic

If they talk to you like that, they are NOT your friends. I would not bother associating with them anymore. I don't even know these people, but by that statement alone, I hate them. I hate them, because I hate people like that.

If they talk to you like that, they are NOT your friends. I would not bother associating with them anymore. I don't even know these people, but by that statement alone, I hate them. I hate them, because I hate people like that.

Perhaps it gives you a better chance of being approached tho.

Yeah that is good.

That's true too.

Well you sounded to me like you were saying guys have it easier, that's why I asked. I think dating is so hard just for a little % of the population, normally guys don't have a difficulty at it.

Maybe he gets that idea from dating sites, Idk. These places are horrible in my view.

Is that supposed to make me feel better then? That I am in a small % of guys?
Like not only am I burdened with aspergers disorder but I am different from other aspies in the dating scene?

Excuse me? I was discussing with Hopper, I was not talking to you.

Ah ok, well you are on my post in a public forum. If you don't want people to reply to you on something don't talk in public right?

I didn't say that I don't want you to reply, I just said that I was not talking to you. You reacted as if my comment were addressed at you.

Ah my apologies then, there are enough replies on here that I can't really keep track of whos talking to who anymore.

I'd agree with that...doesn't sound like something friends would say.

In fact, the concern you hear most often from them is not that they don't get approached enough, but that they're approached too much. Often, they intentionally avoid looking approachable to keep unworthy suitors away.

If you don't want other people to read what you're saying to Hopper, you should PM him. This is an open forum, not a two person private network. You can't expect privacy in public. Just because you say something to Hopper, that doesn't mean a third party is forbidden to add to it or openly disagree with it.

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot this is the pick on BaneBear thread. Geez, I thought this was supposed to be a support forum but I guess I was wrong.

You've told BaneBear that dating problems are only experienced by the bottom few percent of guys (not true) and Hopper was kind enough to say his problems are "arse-gravy" and then tell him to "f**k off".

What wonderful support you guys are giving to BaneBear /sarcasm

All this after he apologized even though he hadn't actually said anything wrong.

Why was BaneBear apologizing? He he wants a long-term relationship with one of more of his female friends. Then everyone accuses him of "only wanting sex"

Think about that, BaneBear wants a long-term relationship, and some of you guys assume he wants a one night stand, assume he wants sex and nothing else. I think that says a lot more about you than it does about him. BaneBear wants a lasting, comprehensive relationship but all you guys can think about is sex.

BaneBear didn't mention sex in his opening post but some people turn everything into a "sex" conversation and then wonder why everyone else is talking about sex when they're the ones who brought it up.

And if a guy does feel sexually attracted to a woman, does that mean that he's being "entitled" because he would like to get in bed with her? It's sort of like you equated the desire for sex, with taking it by force.

That's like if I said I wish I was rich so you say I'm "entitled" to money. Since when did it become a sin for a guy to feel attracted to a girl?

I find it ironic that the guy who gets treated like an oversexed sex-fiend is the guy who's not getting any. Maybe you guys think BaneBear is an easy target for your pent up rage but that's not what this forum is for.

You might say that BaneBear should have done this or that with his female friend to get out of the friendzone. Maybe you're right but remember that BaneBear doesn't have really good dating skills or he wouldn't have made this thread.

So instead of tell him he should have known to do this or that, like it was really obvious, you could rephrase it as useful advice e.g. "Next time you should take her out to dinner". Something like that.

It's better to offer constructive advice rather than chastise him for not already knowing how to be a Casanova.

Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 19 Jan 2016, 4:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Better than what? Being male? Well, given there's probably still a cultural/social hangover of 'men ask, women are asked', where each gender's worth is tied up with, respectively, getting her to say yes or getting him to ask, that would be kind of what we'd expect.



Would it be a bad thing if I said guys have it easier? That's interesting. But again, I'm against that sort of thinking. It only serves to inculcate a bitterness.

Some have a difficulty, some don't. I prefer to concentrate on the practical, particular matters at hand. There's a place for pissing and moaning, to be sure, but if you want to solve a problem keep a clear head and open mind, and consider different views and answers.

I'm an armchair amateur psychologist and all, but frankly, I see a few men on here whose identity and worldview is built around their martyrdom over not getting a girlfriend, of having it worse than anyone else. Such that, if a woman did show an interest in them tomorrow, it wouldn't actually help unless they got some sort of therapy too.



I have never approached, or been approached, 'cold'. I've met women through small ads in a music magazine, phone dating voice ads, and internet dating. I found internet dating to be pretty good - certainly it suited my approach and wants.

Why not? I think true friends should, above all, be honest to each other. If your male friend falls laughably short of your and your female friends' standards for being romantic-relationship material, why not tell him, saving all of you a lot of time and drama?

Well they all eventually got bored with me anyways. I'm not very useful as I don't have w lot of money to give to people.

Standard your not good enough for me, but there's someone for you, but your also not good enough for anyone I know.

I don't have many friends anymore and guy friends don't know single women.

I wish I did have female friends who'd try though, probably only way I'd ever find love

For attractive women this is certainly true. Many women complain that they are "creep magnets" but also whine about how men should "grow a pair" and ask them out. What it boils down to is they want they guys THEY like to approach them and guys they deem unattractive to stay away.

But weren't you saying in another thread that people need not play hard to get when they actually *are*? Well this is a good contexample. Women play hard to get because they believe it will make unattractive guys be too intimidated to approach them.

Mein Gott! It's almost as thought people have.... preferences! And to think here's us sucker fool men, always going after the women we find unattractive. They've played us for chumps, I tells ya. Chumps!



Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?