Messages women get in dating sites

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^^ The good connection happens with bonding after knowing the person for a while, it needs time, feeling good connections with strangers right away is mystical talk.

Not at all. Whilst good quality connections most definitely take time, you can often know from a profile that they're not really a match for you so not worth pursuing.

If you are attractive, you don't need to resort to online dating. I think many women know that most of the guys that use online dating are not able to get to know women IRL. This was the case with using ads when I was in my 30s.

And that alone would decrease his attraction value.

This is certainly true in the general sense.

Not necessarily trur my boyfriend is attractive but works in an all males factory and didn't go clubbing so never had a chance to meet girls.

Likewise I went online because I'm shy and struggle to talk to new people

I feel like it is predetermined, women really should have to make the first move on these sites since it is essentially a meat market but I guess a guy who initiates the first move is a quality in itself over lesser quality men. They seem to get to pick and choose, men have to write these quirky personalized messages to a hundred maybe more people before a response so copying and pasting seems like the natural thing to do. I feel like Boo is mostly right, have an attractive picture and then mention your job/car maybe even a picture of you with said car is probably your best bet at getting a response. People are very superficial, it is what it is.

I don't see where I ever said a well thought out message will guarantee a response, I sent some myself to guys only to have them ignored, basically there are no guarantees on a dating sites a fact I've been well aware of for some time. Yes it is true messages don't guarantee dates or responses. Also send the same boring generic messege to 100's of girls in the hope to get a messege from any who think you're hot seems like a more mainstream cliche than looking at profiles and sending personalized messages to girls you actually like.

Perhaps the copy, paste message sent to 100's of people does work for some people but it seems more likely to lead to hook ups than anything lasting. Also more often than not it's bots sending out those short, uninteresting copy paste messages. I mean 'hi, hows it going' is what people say to each other while passing on the sidewalk neither one stopping to actually discuss 'how it's going' so such messeges didn't strike my interest as they didn't seem sincere.

Also you don't have to send 100s of messeges to 100s of girls every day, I am sitting at a computer doesn't take a ton of effort...sending 100s of messages every day would be time consuming, don't do that takes much less effort, only bother sending messages to people you like that you feel you have something in common with it doesn't take a ton of time and energy...of course you also have to be patient and not be thinking like 'I need a girlfriend/boyfriend right NOW'. This approach worked for my boyfriend....I cannot say it works for everyone but not much I can do about that.

No perhaps than message 5 more girls, problem is some guys give themselves a set amount of time they 'need' to find a girlfriend and if someone doesn't show interest within that time frame they simply give up, delete their whole profile and decide all women are shallow and only care about looks.

Really though, if ones looks are so bad it's preventing people messaging back, maybe they need to brush their hair, get a hair cut/trim, wash their face, put on a fresh change of clothes...I doubt it's some inherent hideous physical feature nothing can be done about most of the time. Of course as a rule people tend to messege people they find attractive but not sure where you get it's only physical appearance that is considered. Also, not everyone thinks the same physical features are attractive or unattractive what one woman finds unattractive could be very attractive to other women.

The 'Hi, how are you?' is more than enough, it doesn't affect the predetermined outcomes (if she find me attracted: she replies, if not then she doesn't).

Yes I do at many times something very small she mentioned in her bio; but just because it got me really curious and not because I am following a certain code.

I certainly figured I wasn't the only person there due to trouble meeting potential dates IRL, it certainly wasn't something I thought to look down on anyone for.

My tinder experiments show us constantly that what is considered attractive or not is somehow consensual among the majority of people within the same culture/sub-culture.

In a last experiment I put a fake pic of a six-packed gym trainer and it got 50+ matches in one day.

Okc isn't much different.

For example, whether on Okcupid, skout or whatever; every timr I message an Asian, there's like 99% chance that she replies - and most of them tell me I am attractive - is that a coincidence? No exaggeration, it is insane, it's like I am a sexy celeb for most of them.

On tinder when I faked location to east asian countries I got hundred of matches; is that a coincidence?

On the other hand, when I faked my location to Ukraine, Germany, France...etc I got almost zero match in all those except with few Arabs/Persians; is that a coincidence too? Are you telling me that Asian girls are less individualistic than Europeans?
Is my looks considered messy/lacking hygiene or whatever for European girls while it's totally the opposite for Asian girls?
I don't think so.

When I faked location as Houston (a highly diversified area)? with my real pic I got matched *only* with few Asians, African-americans and Latinas (despite they are the minority) - yet when I switched to a fake European-looking sportman pic, it got 50 matches in one day, most are whites; are all these coincidences?

Yes to some women that is more than enough....clearly I was not one of them, regardless of how 'physically attractive' they were more substance in a message is what would catch my interest.

First of all, Why does the Male member's of this forum (One's that it says that on their profile say Nale instead of Male? It's well known on this website.

Yes there are norms in what is seen as 'conventionally attractive' that may apply to the majority, but everyone isn't in the majority are they. My idea of an attractive guy is probably quite different than what the majority of people on okcupid in my area would rate that way. If one isn't in the majority on a dating site, seems reasonable to seek out others outside the majority.

Also not sure where people here get the impression you can only messege the 'matches' a dating site gives you. That system very much uses majority preferences so people probably miss out on lots of fellow outliers by only contacting the matches a computer picks for you.