Married and asked out

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You said that you read the original posts but she said there that the guy doesn't want any romance and it makes her feel cheap and slu*ty, why did you write things like "Some people have sexual relationships and they are happy with that. That is their choice"?
I was not being sarcastic, nowadays "nice guy" seems to often have a negative connotation, meaning someone who does nice things to girls only to get sex. The "give him sex in exchange of saving you" thing looked like that, to me.
And how do you know that after sex he would still help her? Doesn't seem a very good idea, especially since he is only in it for the sex.
We are polluting the thread with our querelle I think, maybe we should stop. Or we can talk about it in PMs if you want.

Yeah even if she were from a western country she couldn't do that, lol.

Yes I agree we should stop. My point is if you are going to criticize someone do it respectfully. Like I said maybe I had just misinterpreted what she said, but that doesn't mean I had bad intentions.

Rite if im caught my hubby could leave me and my life ruined
And same his wife could do

He asked me for non commitment open relation like live in
But then he is busy and works as an Sex Expert

Im bored, crazy, stupid housewife
Who gets tempted with little bit of comapassion or companionship thrown at me

Infidelity is never the way to go. It will not give you what you want, and only cause you problems. I don't know what your husband's problem is...it could be depression, it could be he doesn't know how to make you happy, or it could be something else...maybe he's depressed because he feels he can't make you happy. But instead of telling him what he needs to do to make you happy, have you ever asked him what you could do to make him happy? Or have you just tried to act up beat and happy around him? Men tend to feed off of the mood of women. This is why a lot of men are actually attracted to young women. Their youth and energy make the men feel young and energetic.

You want your husband to sweep you off your feet and show you something fun and new. Why don't you sweep him off his feet and show him something new to try to get him out of his slump?

My hubbys problem is boredom 16 years of marriage and bored monotonous relation in bed their is no sexcitement
Cant force him he is oblivion with me
The same problem with other guy he is bored with his wife

But ya last two weekends he is going on outings with his family

Weekdays he is busy at work and weekends with family

So where do i picture in this crap

In the other man's life, you don't picture anywhere. You should avoid him. As for your relationship with your husband, I'm not telling you to pressure him into having sex. Reinvent your relationship with him. Take him out to on a date and do something neither of you have ever done before. Make an effort to change the dynamics between you two. What would you do together if he were the other man? What would you do together if you didn't know him and just met him? To use an analogy, you have been waltzing for 16 years and both of you are tired of waltzing. But there are more dances than the waltz. There's the samba, tango, foxtrot, break dancing, river dancing, tap dancing, ballet, flamenco, or heck, maybe you stop dancing all together and go rock climbing or yachting or camping. Change the dynamics between you two in a positive way.

That's what sugar babies do, I don't see the issue with something mutual. If both parties are being open about what they're here for, it's not really a problem. What is a problem is when one person is using the other person and they don't know. That just sounds like an arrangement.

I also don't see cheating as the same if you didn't have a choice about who you married or are with someone abusive. I have a friend who isn't in an arranged marriage, but who married a guy she met online who needed to marry someone from the US to get citizenship, and she wanted to get away from her abusive family. Her husband is emotionally abusive and she is struggling to get a job because she's aspies, mentally ill, and doesn't have recent job experience. She's between a rock and hard place, and it seems the OP is in a similar situation.

My friend isn't cheating though, but I wouldn't blame her if she did.

I can relate to the job issues, as I have similar issues to the OP and I was never taught to be independent, though for different reasons. My dad was emotionally abusive and made me feel like I couldn't do anything and would fail at everything and my mom was so protective that she did almost everything for me and stopped me from trying to do things on my own. It's made evey other aspect of trying to get employed much worse. It's incredibly hard learning to make your own decisions and having confidence in them.

And even with her education, it sounds like she's either never been employed or hasn't been in years, and in all probability it's just as hard to get a job with a gap there as it is here. People don't see your qualifications or desire to improve yourself, they see this chunk of time where you have been unemployed. Her being educated is a bonus to her though.

Love might have a chance to be revived,
if it existed between them in the first place.

Otherwise, nothing will work.

I know you're trying not to be a homewrecker and to be a home fixer instead - but ... I don't think she ever loved her hubby.

yes thats what is happening

just buzzing me for sex

as if im a call girl

Yep. So forget him, go meet your husband for the first time again, and sweep him off his feet, figuratively speaking.

Ya sweeping his feet is ok
But he suffers from premature ejaculation due to chain smoking and he his not bothered about it

Its been months without sexual contact and lack of communication and intimacy
Just living like paying guest

I would be willing to bet that your husband is bothered by it, and that he might be suffering from depression because of it. When men experience sexual dysfunction, they tend to become depressed and withdraw. I don't know if his problem is treatable or not, but there are certainly work arounds.

It sounds to me though that you would like to think your marriage isn't salvageable, or that you don't want to put in the extra effort and support your husband might need right now for whatever problem he is facing.

He needs to work on our marriage
Not take.me for.granted
Quit smoking
Stop stinking of nicotine and.beer
To take treatment for sexual incompetancy

If he was really bothered he would have done.that

Failing to get an erection that was so expected from a woman can be a very humiliating and embarrassing experience, especially if the woman's reaction to this fail is mocking or complaining or anger.

It happened to me once, I couldn't get it up with this one particular girl (She was very in rush), and her reaction was effing, she was totally upset - and she was like not willing to try again - I couldn't look into her face again.

Second time it worked after she apologized and as slower about it.

Namaste you might be happier if you had more choices in life. Can you go back to college/study online and up-skill? Neither of your two current options seem to be offering what you want from life.

so ur blaming the women

indirectly ur blaming me saying i a complain freak