Can you help who you fall for?

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Don't run away from me dudes. *Gay squeezing*

Exactly, how are you meant to control who causes all those chemicals to start whizzing round your body?

I still think the control part can be how you respond to that attraction. We aren't completely helpless. We don't have to act on it. But I don't think people can be blamed for suddenly developing feelings for someone else. The chemicals just get produced as a result of what thay see and hear.

No need to be annoyed if your Platonic friend you've never fancied or will never consider in that way appears to have feelings for you when you didn't expect it to happen.

I don't think there is a way to control those chemicals....as chemical reactions just happen. I remember the first time I met my current boyfriend I certainly felt something. Then when we texted later we were both talking about how we felt we had good chemistry. I mean I guess to some people the idea it's just a chemical reaction makes it less significant...but we just saw it for what it was and thought it was great.

I've noticed that the hug quality has a strong effect on my opinion of a woman, be she a sex partner (escort), a dating candidate, a fleeting dance/conversation partner, or a platonic friend. If a woman gives good hugs, I'll respect her almost instantly. And good hugs aren't necessarily the full-body variety involving breasts pressing into me. Even a light hug that she puts feelings of fondness into can still feel amazingly good. What does make me feel tingly is when she lightly rubs her hair against my face during the hug. Whether or not women do that intentionally, I totally love it!

I've met women on cruises, and for some reasons, they'd often grab my hand and hug me a lot, and it's usually older women doing that. The interactions were just playful flirting, with no expectation of escalating sexually, but they still felt incredibly good. I have very fond memories of my cruises specifically because of that. Conversely, if a woman despises me, the hugs she gives me will always be awful, even when she's using them to extract something from me (and expects me to be fooled). Hugs can still be bad even if a woman likes me, though, like they were with my first girlfriend.

Stop -

I do not want to breed with you.

I eventually fancy her but I don't think she's compatible with me when it comes to religious beliefs - which are so important for her.

So I control not to be smothered and fall for her.

See? I can control this.

I wouldn't be so sure of that. I travelled on my own to the US in my early 20s, and I moved quite a bit to get a job a few years later.

I think you're proving my point. Eventually feelings grew.



You can control what you do next, but you've still caught feelings.

I don't know about you guys, but all the women that I've dated I dated because I rationally chose them as good partners for me. An invisible Force didn't make me date them.

Never done that. There was never anything rational about which women I fancied or had a crush on. So, I suppose for me, it was an invisible force of some kind.

Me too, falling in love is not the same as fancying.

I don't think that's really different than what we're saying. You rationally chose to date them after developing feelings you didn't choose. I had female friends in high school who were attractive, but we never dated because neither of us was interested in a relationship.

You can also control where you meet people. I'd expect to find wealthier people at expensive charity events--poor people can't afford the price of admission.

I'm not talking about who you date. I mean who you develop feelings for before you even act on it. Before you even say, hey do you want to be more than friends.

Have none of you ever developed feelings for someone you've been around a lot, like a friend of a friend or a workmate?

Did you really ask them out based on just cold logic alone? No feelings involved? We're you even attracted to them? Did you ever develop any feelings for them?