Acceptable Age Gap?

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It seems to me that age gaps are becoming more acceptable in an increasingly secular and ethical world that is less governed by religious taboos than it used to be; in fact I know an Aspergirl aged 50 with a 30yo BF; they were embarrassed about it first but quite open now.

I am in a not-sure-where-it'll-end-up on-off friends-maybe-more confused-as-hell thing with my ex who contacted me after an acrimonious split a couple years ago (she's calmed down a lot now and my own mental health is somewhat better than then). Point is she's 10 years younger than me (I'm 51) and this seems a little on the large side as most men I know my age seem to have SOs around 5 years younger or, bizarrely, around the same. Then again since we both have AS it's difficult to know how much of it is due to that.

Both of us are wary of going beyond "friends" right now and both have profiles on OKC and PoF (though we keep getting matched by OKC - maybe it's trying to tell us something ) What I find odd is that OKC seems to want to match me with women in their mid-30s - mid 40s while PoF seems to match me with women in their mid 40s or older.

I guess at the end you find someone you "click" with and if it works and isn't illegal, go for it. YYMV if you want children though.

I also meant lack of indepened e.g. still living at home, cannot drive, etc.

It seems most young people only have a very brief timeframe straight after high school before they are expected to have their sh•t together and also if you aren't working at age 25 have to at least be halfway through studying at uni or such.

Truth is 7 years is quite a while but also not actually that long, the time goes by faster than one would think and I'm sure you are aware of this.

The fact each year becomes faster than the previous is not just a superstition, it's a proven mathematical fact due to the fact each year has less mathematical value in your life, e.g. when you're 10, one year is 10% if your life, when you're 100, it's only 1% of your life, and when you're 50, only 2%, and so on.

Besides, with rising lifespans, 7 years is such a minimal amount of time now.

When the average human died at age 25, 7 years was almost 1/3 of our life.

I think you'll be fine once you're in Uni.

Seven years is quite a while when you're 18.

I wish I was as good-looking and strong-looking as you are. I looked very young and scrawny at 18. Yet I did sort of all right with girls.

I wish there was a way you can get over the hump.

Do they have clubs for parkour? You can make good use of your music, too.

Statistics are a load of bollocks.

I'm 28 and doomed

I think 7 years is a reasonable time frame for you to get shared or indepenant accomodation and start learning to drive, if you haven't started already.True. Getting a place and getting your Ps can be accomplished in less than a year but education is something you have to plan for two years before you graduate high school, at an age when most people are not prepared to make that kind of decision.

Then it's a few years of uni before you get to work in that field. People often find that studying one field and working in that field are very different experiences.I am and it terrifies me.This is true.When the average human died at age 25 it was due to a third of the population living to 75 and the other two thirds dying in infancy.

Nowadays the girls actually like that sort of guy.

"I think 7 years is a reasonable time frame for you to get shared or indepenant accomodation and start learning to drive, if you haven't started already."

I'd only want to have shared accomodation if I had a gf, but I need friends to get a gf and need friends to get friends.

To live alone I am thinking of accessing disability services to assist with this sort of thing, but I'd have to partly overcome my severe anxiety.

My anxiety is general so it can be social anxiety, separation anxiety, agoraphobia, etc. anything and everything.

I have difficulty staying at home alone without feeling nervous and paranoid and feel paranoid at night when everyone else is asleep so actually living alone would be hell unless I have a social worker visiting to check up on my almost daily.

The problem is I have to overcome OTHER issues first.

Even N.T.'s have other stuff going on in their lives that slows them down, so they might be too busy to always be driving so some N.T.'s only get their full license at age 19 or 20 or such.

The fact I have to overcome my anxiety about getting behind the wheel first, which can take several months to years, is already a major setback.

The fact I have agoraphobia and am afraid of leaving the house even by riding my bike, a car and all the anxiety associated with that is a big step up.

This will take years. YEARS.

I've already made a lot of progress since I graduated Nov. last year, but it's still minimal.

I'm proud of the fact I can walk or ride a few blocks alone, lol when to 99% of people this stuff comes easily and naturally.

There are people my age who own cars, drive, live alone in a city hours away from their parents, work a part-time job and attend university.

I feel so alone as an Agoraphobic aspie as it's rare even here. People take for granted the fact they can feel safe outdoors.

"I am and it terrifies me."

I seriously think you're fine, or at least in the eyes of Aussie society should be.

You live alone, work a modest paying job, can drive, etc. All you need is to get a decent guy and educationally, financially and career-wise you're all good.

"When the average human died at age 25 it was due to a third of the population living to 75 and the other two thirds dying in infancy."

What do you mean?

I'm talking about when the life expectancy was low globally, the entire species. 25 is an exaggeration, actually. A few centuries ago it was about 45.

I didn't mean it that way. I just meant the increasing speed at which time seems to pass. Like one moment I'm 24 and then BAM! I'm 28.

Don't care about age. Never did. I had relationships with people w a -10 to +30 yrs gap.

DH was 23 and 4 years younger when we met. Lived at home, didn't have a car nor a job. Was almost a virgin. Never had a LTR. Never lived together. Has/had severe anxiety.

Didn't make any difference.
We just fell in love, connected instantly. Was a gut feeling and an instant 'just being myself and comfortable' with each other.

So you see, sometimes magic stuff just happens. Love/in love does this weird stuff with our brains and bodies that can help overcome so much more than I/DH thought possible.

Of course one can always choose to not believe in fairy tales nor magic

I'd like someone pretty close to my age. Within a couple of years or so. Maybe that'll change as I get older.

I didn't have my own car until I was 50. I didn't drive until I was 37.

I feel Outrider really needs a mentor who is slightly older than him (perhaps 25?)--sort of like a "big brother" type.

They can hang out together. The older guy can teach him "the ropes" gently, and not act like an ass about it. Teach him to drive, even. Starting with malls.

Outrider can benefit the "big brother" by sharing his knowledge and his music.

It's different in NYC lol. You don't need a car as much there.

^^^

Didn't know what I would have done without my big sistahs and big brothas from another planet
I hope to write a book someday called
'Weird like me'

I am fortunate that I lived in "inner Queens"--the more urban part of Queens.

If I lived in "Outer Queens," the more suburban part, it would have been very difficult not to have a car and drive. Kids get their licenses at 16 there.

I think Outrider's okay for now because he has public transport.

Yes, that's true.

I've never had a father figure, Dad was never there for me even before my parents separated.

I do not like my step-dad and want nothing to do with him. He would probably lack patience with me.

I am the eldest child, so I have no older sibling to guide me.

Most of my uncle's have disabilities themselves and still live at home at age 30 and lack basic life skills such as doing their own laundry, etc. or are too lazy and get my grandmother to do it.

If they're too lazy to take care of themselves, I doubt I could learn much from them.

The only person I really can learn basic life skills from is Mum, but she has 3 other children to care for, along with the fact she does most of the work around the house including my Uncle's laundry (he's sleeping on our couch and paying).

Also, Mum is a high school dropout, she doesn't have any first-hand experience of university, let alone the 11th/12th grade, which I attended of course because I graduated high school.

My Dad is one of the few family members who's actually gone, but he'd have no useful advice because all he did was attend a few weeks, spent all his time partying, then dropped out.

Aside from reading about experiences of Australian university on the internet, I have no one to turn to about this.

I have no one to turn to about many things and life skills.

Mum can only do so much to offer support, get me in touch with disability services and teach me the basics like cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.

There's many things I've learnt on my own.