Is it ok for someone to say they want a (insert race) boyfri

Post Reply New Topic

But saying that "all women of X "race" are unattractive to me" is a strict logic.

It's not the awareness of some set of average values for physical attraction, but the decision to attribute that set of average values to everyone of a particular race. No one should accuse you of racism for being attracted to, or not attracted to any particular person, unless you explain it by saying that you find [insert race] unattractive. That's obvious prejudice, since you have only met a limited number of people of that race.

Additionally, race is an unscientific category that each of us defines for ourselves. Whiteness typically seems to consist of a lack of blackness, as in the one drop rule, so it's a fundamentally exclusionary and problematic idea from the outset.

You decide who to put in the basket of [insert race] and you get to decide how to characterize the parameters of your attraction. If that seems racist to other people, you might want to examine how you made those decisions.

As I said I don't find dark skin attractive. I don't even find many Italians attractive because of their more olive skin. A white woman with a suntan isn't attractive to me. I LIKE PALE SKIN ONLY FOR ATTRACTIVENESS. LIKE ALMOST ALBINO.

Maybe the issue here is I just have a much narrower range of women I find attractive. Maybe women's appearance is part of my 'aspie-ness' in the same way limited special interests would be. I mean it's conceivable I only like to so three things in the entire world, but not that I'd fixate on certain physical attributes and from those determine if I find someone attractive or not?

I mean while I appreciate the debate here, and I enjoy that this can be a direct discussion without devolving into insults. But it's run it's course. So I step out.

I have my views, I am 100% comfortable with saying only white women are attractive to me personally. I tried to explain my point because I genuinely do not understand the opposing view. And I still really don't completely.

But that's ok because the way I see things isn't always right and I wont claim it is. So...

I didn't understand. You're the exception. I can accept a 'paleness fetish' if I can call it that. The paleness fetish as a whole is obviously wrapped up in institutional racism, but I don't blame you personally for that.

Not only Caucasians can be pale.

I also don't think most peoples preferences are necessarily set in stone...like people who think they have a preference for a certain eye color and couldn't dream of finding someone without that eye color attractive, until they meet someone they find attractive who has a different eye color.

It wouldn't make sense for them to say 'oh well I like you and your so attractive, but unfortunately you don't have blue eyes so we shouldn't date'...

Two of your points that I wanted to respond to.

Just because you believe there is no code in our DNA telling us to mate with our own, or a certain, ethnicity does not mean that is not the case. I can see a reason for both scenarios. As you pointed out, there may be code telling certain people to breed interracially as it may be advantageous. This is like my white cousin who has only ever dated dark skinned guys, either black or Philippino like her current long time boyfriend. There may be some hard coded reason she's not meant to be attracted to white guys, and like you say it may be to further dilute the gene pool for specific advantages. However, I can see a potential reason for code for some people to keep to their own - especially blacks from Africa. Why? Blacks from Africa have the highest variation in the human genome. It's commonly known that all human life began there. I can see a reason for them "preserving" their own genetic code, as it is more whole and complete than all the subsets around the globe. IMO, that's why some of them may be coded to mate with their own - to keep a pure sample of the most whole genetic code. The same may be true for others of other racial ethnicities who are attracted to their own - keeping those particular subsets of humans going.

As for the porn industry being racist... hardly, IMO. The porn industry isn't some sinister organization fabricating racism. Like any business, they're in it for the money. They produce what consumers are willing to pay for & by and large people want to view white/caucasian porn. That's where the money's at because that's what sells so that's what they produce most of. Same holds true for other comparable mediums like YouTube video series ie the ones made by gay YouTuber Davey Wavey. People accused him of racism and he pointed out that he has made DOZENS of videos including people of colour and other orientations etc etc but that the ones that get the likes, shares, and views are the ones that include the stereotypical young white males - so, that's what he makes more of simply because he's got to earn a living and has to put out there what people want to watch. It's not a conspiracy. It's simply supply & demand driven by consumers of the free market. If people clicked and watched black porn or <insert ethnicity here> more than others then that's what would be out there dominating the industry. It's about money, not fuelling racism. At all.

I see attractive people within all "races."

I see unattractive people within all "races," too.

I was agreeing with you up till the shallow part. It only becomes shallow if they completely ignore the person of interests personality and compatibility after getting to know each other. Wanting someone who you're attracted to is the first part of the dating process.

......does it bother you????

For those who will only date or only find themselves attracted to people of their own race: I've just had a thought about this issue that you may find interesting (or maybe not.)

I've been watching movies and documentaries about serial killers the last couple of days (I like to watch spooky thrillers and that sort of thing leading up to Halloween, it's my odd way of celebrating the holiday--this year's theme is serial killers) and one of the things that got mentioned is that serial killers almost always choose victims that are the same race as themselves. Usually there is a sexual element to the crimes because most serial killers are sadistic psychopaths who had sexuality/sexual pleasure and violence inextricably linked in their psyches from a young age. Someone in this thread earlier mentioned the possibility that skin colour as a factor in sexual attraction could be a fetishistic aspect (when a certain skin colour is required for sexual attraction to happen), and it made me wonder if skin colour is similarly fetishised for serial killers and that is why they almost always choose victims from their own racial group (because the killing for them is often at least partially sexually motivated, so their victims would need to appeal to them sexually based on whatever particular violent fetishes they have developed.)

Bit of a sidenote, but I found the possible parallel interesting. Food for thought, anyway.

Welcome to my world dating black women