Can aspies get boyfriends?

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snake321
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17 May 2007, 10:42 pm

xKilling_Lonelinessx wrote:

I have to say yes, it's possible. It's very hard though. I just got my first boyfriend in four years yesterday.

Your 14 and you already have your 1st relationship, you'll get plenty of them when you want them, atleast compared to me (a guy, who has to do ALL the initiating). You look attractive too. Trust me, you have no idea what "hard" is.

Grim
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18 May 2007, 1:50 am

Most, yes.
What you need to do is identify your own problems, know how they will affect and relationship, and think of ways to get make the affect less.
Some things you can not do much about, and some people will never be able to deal with them. I dated someone in a different town before, and had to get a bus there, the bus only ran once and hour, one day i panicked and missed the bus, spent the time til the next bus trying to stop crying and calm down. When I finially got the an hour later, she went mad at me saying how I did not care. Some things are just never going to work.
Other things I have been more successful with, I have problems expressing things verbally esp when depressed, so I have in the past made a plain notebook into a sort of communications book between me and a partner, it was not to replace verbal communication, but to aid it. It helped a lot at times.

beautifulspam
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18 May 2007, 4:20 am

Quote:

Yeah, women on WP seriously need to stop whining about this or at least try to have a sense of context. You think life is rough now because mcdreamy hasn't dropped a diamond ring in your chardonnay? Try getting zero, and I do mean zero, as in none at all, attention from the opposite sex for the next 10-15 years.

ZanneMarie
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18 May 2007, 3:48 pm

Age1600 wrote:

Yes girl aspies can get boyfriends, from my point of view, I didn't think I could but I did and hes an NT!

That's what happened to me after dating and dumping a bunch of them over the period of a year and a half. Mine were all NTs and they all looked and acted alike. I just wasn't interested in them. I had given up when one of the old boyfriends found my husband for me. He's also an NT. That's worked out just fine and I'm hard to live with. He's OCD so he's hard to live with as well. We just happen to like each other the way we are. He doesn't care about my Aspie traits. He likes my brain the way it is.

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Tim_Tex
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21 Sep 2007, 8:02 pm

blacktext wrote:

Women can afford to be picky because men aren't. If men were more picky than we could reach a dating equilibrium. But that is a fantasy that will never happen.

A woman that can't get a boyfriend is a rare situation. Most guys are so desperate for sexual opportunities they will generally overlook all kinds of personal faults if they find a woman even remotely attractive. However, some women do fall through the cracks. Nothing in life is 100%.

I would imagine that most women that cannot get a boyfriend will have a combination of things working against them - they'll have a tendency to reject potential mates; an extreme lack of social opportunities; most likely are physically unattractive; and their behavior will somehow turn men off.

I'm a guy and I can be quite picky.

Tim

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shadexiii
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21 Sep 2007, 8:05 pm

I had forgotten about this thread.

GenericBrandUserName wrote:

Whoever said 'Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all' deserves a crack across the skull with an aluminum bat. <_<

I don't entirely agree. If someone was using you, and they stop because they want to move on to someone else, either to use or to be in a relationship with....have you really lost anything?

If it was more than unrequitted love, then yes, I think it would be better to have loved and lost. If it isn't, then I don't view it as being the same.

MishLuvsHer2Boys
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21 Sep 2007, 9:46 pm

I think it's entirely possible. I never really had too bad of luck finding a guy... it's the actual relationships that I have a struggle with and even though have been in one for seven years, I still don't really know how to deal with things and all.

ZakFiend
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24 Sep 2007, 5:03 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Am I the only female here that finds it very difficult to get a boyfriend and to be happy in a relationship?

Men and women are different. Men are often attracted to a wider range of people, so I wouldn't be surprised if one comes in here with some sceptical comment.

It's verry difficult not even being attracted to anyone. And its worse when you find someone you are attracted to, because most of the time they will not like us back because of what we are.

The problem is you're being too picky!!

If you want a real connection you have to build BONDS with people and that requires time and similar deep fundamental truths about yourself that you have in common.

blue_bean
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25 Sep 2007, 7:39 am

MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:

Similar story here.......

I can get guys interested and get to know them on a superficial level, but going further and entering a relationship with them is hard because I can't express myself well.

Triangular_Trees
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25 Sep 2007, 9:14 am

They can. I spend every weekend with my bf. We have the closest relationship i've ever been in - much closer than I'd ever imagined it was possible to be, and I've been in relationships before.

calandale
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25 Sep 2007, 9:39 am

Triangular_Trees wrote:

They can. I spend every weekend with my bf. We have the closest relationship i've ever been in - much closer than I'd ever imagined it was possible to be, and I've been in relationships before.

Pretty much MY history. Always seem to
be the one who shows someone just how
close a couple can really be. Or, don't hit
it off at all.

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