To all the bitter men

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Where am I on a thread in this forum voicing feeling sorry for myself about my dating problems? Most of the threads I have made have been about politics.

According to my dating experiences with Middle-Eastern and Asian women, both are massive issues to the vast majority.

Hihi so the "be yourself" thing has proved valid
Good on him for being able to let go of his preconceived notions of what women are supposed to want!! ! And of you for showing him that that's OK!
Online? Huh, I have been scared to give that a go...

I don't get the fascination with babies... if you like them and want them, great. But don't act like I'm failing at being a woman if I don't there's more than enough humans already on this planet... Meh you can't please em all

Where am I on a thread in this forum voicing feeling sorry for myself about my dating problems? Most of the threads I have made have been about politics.[/quote]


I just joined this forum, so don't know what you do generally. But this

You have no idea what it is like being a woman on her own having to support herself[/quote]

to me, is self pity. If I told you: "You have no idea what it's like to be man on his own having to support himself", I think you would tell me the same.

I just joined this forum, so don't know what you do generally. But this

You have no idea what it is like being a woman on her own having to support herself[/quote]

to me, is self pity. If I told you: "You have no idea what it's like to be man on his own having to support himself", I think you would tell me the same.[/quote]

I like it just fine (supporting myself)

I just joined this forum, so don't know what you do generally. But this

You have no idea what it is like being a woman on her own having to support herself[/quote]

to me, is self pity. If I told you: "You have no idea what it's like to be man on his own having to support himself", I think you would tell me the same.[/quote]

That's not feeling sorry for myself - it's a fact. I'm glad I can support myself, however, it is very stressful. What I am voicing is frustration because men don't think that women have any problems and that life is just a walk in the park. No it is not. Everyone has problems. I really do think it would help people to spend some quality time around some really sick people and then they just might start seeing some of the good things in their own lives.

Here's an example - I had a 28 year old male patient who had a genetic disorder that was untreatable. He weighed almost 300-400 lbs and had several wounds because he was unable to move around like he should. He was talking to me and crying about how he will never be able to date or get married or have kids because this genetic disorder was eventually going to kill him by damaging his heart. He was only 28 and was just fine several years before this disorder struck him. There is someone I truly felt sorry for because he had no chance to experience anything in life - he would never get out of that hospital bed. Someone in the world always has it worse than you think you do.

"I started trying to approach women in various social situations and met nothing but rejection and ridicule because of my slightly odd personality."

This is pretty much the reason why a lot of people with Aspergers dislike women. Fortunately I have a good few female friends so I think its helped put everything into perspective but being told that you're a loser by an obese woman who failed every exam at the end of high school and works part time at a food counter is very, very irritating considering I managed to get a college/university level of education, passed every exam at school and much more financially better off than her/them. I'm not ego boosting myself so don't think I'm trying to be big headed, I'm just saying what I find very hypocritical about those types of women. I'm sure its the same for a lot of people here sadly.

Like I said I don't dislike women. My best friends are actually girls but sadly even women very low down on the not failing at life ladder seem to be willing to take pot shots at me.

I get where you are coming from Nades. That's why I was so reluctant to try to date in the past.

One thing I found that works is to be upfront. I told my most recent (current? Complicated.). relationship at the very beginning of my diagnosis. I don't think she fully understands or even accepts it, but it helped her understand why I was different. Ultimately, she still saw me as Steven.

I'm not perfect, I've got so many faults, and if the relationship doesn't work out I know the fault is within me. But I'm not bitter with her, or women in general. I'm understanding, accepting, slowly, that as unfair as it is, we have it a little harder, but that doesn't mean we can't find what we are all looking for in life.

Out of interest are the women you dated similar to you or non Asperger's women?

Non-Asperger. Interestingly she has renal disease/kidney failure. Despite this I have recently learned it is a terrible idea to say "Hey, I'm helping you out with my disability, can you help me with mine?"

I'm finally, finally learning that true love is given without obligated return. I guess that's why unrequired love is so sad but beautiful.

Being bitter is just sad and won't get you anywhere. Only by being positive will your life improve.

True words.

But they undervalue the difficulty of making that transition. It isn't easy.

Perhaps it was because she did not feel a connection. People underestimate how much some women rely on a gut feeling. Just because she rejects you it doens't necessarily mean that she does not think you are worthy buy that she just doesn't have that "click" with you. Of course that's not worth worrying about because you cannot change that.

Also maybe she thought you were using her to settle if she is not very confident (I say this because you mentioned her being obese) and women don't want to be that girl you choose because there was no one else.

So just to reilliterate rejection doesn't always mean there is something wrong with you . Hell we have all been there

I always like the what's the worst thing that could happen approach. When I thought I was going to be forever alone I was like 'well at least I can have loads of cats and focus on my career without issue' ^¤_¤^ <sad attempt at a cat

Oh yes I understand that a lot of people will have trouble clicking with me but I'm a pretty nice guy (at least that's what my female friends tells me so I hope I am). It's not the rejection that I have problems with at all really, it's the mockery afterwards that sometimes happens by people who aren't really Cinderella themselves to put it nicely.