Asked a girl to Starbucks, told she was married

Page 5 of 6 [ 92 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

25 Jan 2017, 8:58 pm

Markinis, there is nothing wrong with speaking to strangers.

It isn't illegal or morally wrong. It can rarely even be classed as 'rude' in the loosest sense of the word.

The world is a horrible place but the vast majority of people don't give a damn about you.

The good thing about this is most people have no interest in intentionally setting out to get you or harm you, and those that are aren't worth your time.

The worst 95% of people would ever do is be rude towards you, and if they are end it there and don't keep things going because then it just may make them angry enough to fight, which is also very unlikely.

Seriously, the chances of someone initiating a fight in a public space where many other people are and the police could be just around the corner is very, very low. It's nothing about bravery, they are just smart and aren't going to fight because it would be a stupid thing to do.

Young men are most likely of all to try and start a fight, those in the 16-24 range, so you're already out of that stage and most people your age you speak to wouldn't bother trying to fight unless you made them particularly mad or in self-defense.

Many, many people will find it awkward or annoying at first, but very few people will feel actual aggression towards a stranger initiating conversation unless you make them uncomfortable or provoke them, whether you mean to or not.

Also, never interrupt someone when they're doing something. That is very rude and likely will make them feel extremely annoyed or slightly agitated.

Sometimes talking to strangers is necessary, such as when you need to ask for help with something.

There are signs you must look out for to see if a person is interested in continuing a conversation or not.

If a person makes very little/no eye contact, speaks in brief sentences, has an apathetic tone to their voice (sounds bored or tired), and has closed body language (crossed arms, etc.) then you should stop speaking to them immediately.

On the other hand, if a person makes direct eye contact with you, speaks with a bit more passion in their voice, etc. they are probably interested in some small talk, but don't be surprised if someone who appears to be okay with talking to you still has their arms closed, speaks in short sentences, etc.

This means they probably feel neutral towards you. If a stranger continues conversation in a calm voice and doesn't show any signs they are uncomfortable or agitated, they are simply being polite but this isn't a bad thing. It means at the very least they are okay with a short conversation and a bit of small talk but once you both run out of things to say will stop talking to you and expect you feel the same.

That's the first stage you hope to achieve - neutral conversation and small talk.

Stage 2 is positive conversation, which is usually ignited by a shared interest. Once a shared interest is discovered, it is very likely both of you will become more passionate in the conversation as you both have a lot to say on the subject and have found a kindred spirit in interests. This is known as medium talk.

Stage 3 is rare but achievable, and that is escalation and establishing a connection. It is the stage where, after a passionate conversation, you actually suggest the two individuals establish a connection beyond two strangers speaking. This is obviously the 'asking for phone number/facebook/contact details' stage.

There are a lot of factors that will influence your success rate here.

How much the other person likes you, your age, theirs, your gender, theirs, what kind of impression you gave, etc. how you ask them, how good the conversation went, and how interested they are in possibly connecting with you further. Asking for contact details heavily implies you are interested in building a further connection, and someone who says yes and gives you their details normally implies they are too, but it is not a guarantee.

Many women will give a man's phone number just to get him to leave her alone, but usually this is because he made her feel very annoyed or uncomfortable, and you should be able to recognize this before she gives you the number.

Even if you did get the number for this reason, and realize this, just politely say it was nice meeting her, leave her alone from that point on, and don't contact her.

Now, the key here is you need to learn massive amounts of awareness, of who you are, who you're speaking to, what situation you're trying to initiate conversation in, what you're saying, and how things are going.

Of course, since you have Aspergers Syndrome it's gonna be more difficult for you to have this awareness, but it isn't impossible and anyone who actually discourages someone to not improve their social skills is a complete fool since that's what the disability is in the first place.

DON'T start with women your age, start with strangers in general.

Talk to elderly people, non-threatening looking ones. Plenty of elderly people suffer from isolation and a polite young person asking them how their day's been and showing genuine interest in what they say is the opposite of hostility, it is kindness.

Also, if you haven't already noticed, elderly people tend to be on average more welcoming to polite conversation from a stranger as long as you don't interrupt them when they're busy.

I've seen many young males and females say elderly people are the one's most often to say hello to them or things like 'lovely day, isn't it?' and other such things to them.

Well, why not be the one who makes the first move this time? That elderly man who says "Good day to you" sometimes to people he walks past probably is the initiator 99% of the time, if anything someone saying it to him first may very well catch him off-guard because he'd very rarely/never expect it.

Speak to people only at daytime, if at night it is only appropriate in a bar or nightclub or a few other very limited settings that I won't bother talking about because there's so few.

It is better to speak to someone with one or two friends with them than someone alone or with a large group.

Don't try and talk to people when drunk.

If alcohol 'helps your confidence' (which I largely believe is a myth, and there's plenty of articles out there to say it's a placebo) then only get 'buzzed'. Only a few drinks maximum. If you want to get drunker that night, buy some alcohol beforehand and get more drunk at home.

Bad locations to try and speak to strangers:

1. The gym
2. Grocery stores
3. In downtown streets
4. Shopping malls
5. On public transportation
6. At night

Decent locations to try and initiate conversation, or people to initiate conversation with:

1. Public 'spaces'
2. Events where a common interest is shared
3. Meetup groups
4. University common rooms
5. Bookstores
6. Very small retail stores.
7. Classmates sitting near you.
8. At work, so long as you don't slack or distract the other person.
9. Residential home neighbors.

Always have awareness, be polite, be cautious, know when to quit, and good luck.



Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

25 Jan 2017, 10:49 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
LOL@Outrider the NEET internet tough guy, implying I've never contributed anything to anybody because of what I say on a website that has consistently irritated me.

I'm done talking to autistics. Forever.

How dare you mock the supreme gentleman!


While I know your joking, is there anything I've said in this thread that really does give off supreme gentleman vibes to you? Or something ive said you would consider a 'creepy' thought pattern for a young man to have. Just curious.because i cant see any supreme gentleman vibes, if there are please tell me, in fact I dislike E.R.



Shahunshah
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,225
Location: NZ

26 Jan 2017, 1:49 am

I think that Outrider just believes he got nothing to lose when it comes to asking out strangers.

Asking out strangers is not exactly terrible but you got to not rush into it that's the thing. Often talking to strangers say when you are at the swimming pools can be good thing and provided you enjoy each other's company that can in turn lead to something else. This is of course provided that each of the participants are comfortable.



Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

26 Jan 2017, 7:24 am

Thanks man.

I appreciate the civil comment.

Of course I expect people to disagree with me, but what I don't appreciate is people calling me a 'creep' simply because they disagree with me and say I deserve 'hostility'.

I'm sure you would agree those are two rude things to say to someone but you don't have to talk about that and I don't want you to because I wouldn't want you to get involved and would respect and admire that you stay neutral.

I agree with what you say.

Which is why I think approaching random women should only be done as a last resort - approaching random women in appropriate, socially acceptable situations that are very unlikely to make her feel uncomfortable or threatened, and respecting her wishes immediately when she rejects you.

When you do things this way, it's unlikely you'll get reported to the police or bashed. Plenty of women do say that a man approaching her the most respectful way does not make her angry or uncomfortable even if she's not interested in him, and say they'll politely reject him and have no problem if he approached her as long as he respected her wishes and left her alone after she rejected him.

Of course approaching women at night or in alleyways or stuff like that is morally wrong and I am entirely against it.

There are multiple ways to meet women and potentially get a girlfriend such as meeting women at mutual interest groups or asking family or friends if they know anyone to set you up with, along with many other methods.

I believe all of these methods should be done first, and if after several years they don't work, then it's about time you start approaching stranger women in appropriate and respectful ways to increase your chances.

Statistically, 'cold approaching' women has a very low success rate, like 1% (one is better than none), and if you ask the vast majority of adults in your family how they met each other, most would not say they met their partner this way.

But it works...sometimes.

My own parents met this way - they were both teens and Dad approached her. He basically called out to her "Hey, you, come over here!", there was a mutual attraction, they chatted, exchanged numbers. A few weeks later they were dating. Months later I was conceived.

It does work better if you're a teen, but if you're a young adult it's also not that bad.

Some people here seem to think I support pick-up artists - I don't.

I dislike pick-up artists, I find them to be very misogynistic.

There is a difference between PUA and approaching women.

PUA is just one of many different methods to approach and try and talk to random women. It's actually the second worst, the worst being actual sexual assault/harassment/rape.

I mostly disagree that talking to the opposite sex your age at pools and the beach is a good idea, but it did happen to me a few weeks ago when a too-young teen girl I obviously wasn't interested in showed interest in me (I caught them looking, her friend said hello for her, the one actually interested in me kept staring in a clearly flirty/"I'm interested in you" way and was nervously giggling).

I think it's a bad idea because I don't see many people talk to strangers at the beach/pool, and the thing is if a teen boy or young man tries talking to a girl or woman his age, she'll...well, she'll probably be wearing a bikini or other revealing swimwear, and this would give her the idea that a big reason he's talking to her is because he's sexually attracted to her body, which is true even if a man tries getting a woman's phone number anywhere else, but it's different at the beach when much of her body is exposed and visible for the man to see.

Do you see what I mean?

I see it as, yes, 'creepy'. But think there are plenty of situations trying to talk to a woman you're interested in (or the opposite) is much more okay to do as long as you know how to handle things (politeness, knowing when to quit, etc.)

Though sometimes the beach and pool can work. If you have a very fit and attractive body, the fact you're showing more skin could impress a person who's already attracted to you and checking you out.



TheSpectrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,121
Location: Hampshire

26 Jan 2017, 7:26 am

Outrider wrote:
TheSpectrum wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
LOL@Outrider the NEET internet tough guy, implying I've never contributed anything to anybody because of what I say on a website that has consistently irritated me.

I'm done talking to autistics. Forever.

How dare you mock the supreme gentleman!


While I know your joking, is there anything I've said in this thread that really does give off supreme gentleman vibes to you? Or something ive said you would consider a 'creepy' thought pattern for a young man to have. Just curious.because i cant see any supreme gentleman vibes, if there are please tell me, in fact I dislike E.R.

Don't mind me. I find longwinded posts exhausting (even though I do read a lot), and saw a lot of testosterone flying around. I like to joke but maybe the E.R was a bit too strong. Im sorry. Back to topic...

I share the sentiment that the places you say are not suitable for meeting strangers apply, but only really to those with health conditions or a mental health diagnosis. A fairly attractive person with some basic social skills could meet people anywhere, and a stage 3 level of interaction as you put it would not be all that rare.


_________________
Yours sincerely, some dude.


MagicKnight
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 14 Mar 2016
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 463

26 Jan 2017, 7:49 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Also, why are you so convinced she isn't actually married more often than not when people say they are in a relationship they are in a relationship...and people should respect that.


Hi.

Yes people should respect that, totally. I don't mean one should yell at the woman "heeelll no way you flipping liar of a cooooww cut the crap and dieeee". There's no need for aggro. I just mean they're lying most of the time in situations like that.

Sweetleaf wrote:
It is pretty annoying when you tell someone you're already in a relationship and they refuse to believe you and act angry/irritated


It's pure annoying, aye. Know why? Because when people become aware that we know they're lying, it's embarrassingly unbearable to them.

But again... showing them that we know isn't strictly required. In fact doing that could be extremely impolite. My response to situations like that is: "married... okay, see you around, have a nice day".



Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

26 Jan 2017, 7:58 am

MagicKnight wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Also, why are you so convinced she isn't actually married more often than not when people say they are in a relationship they are in a relationship...and people should respect that.


Hi.

Yes people should respect that, totally. I don't mean one should yell at the woman "heeelll no way you flipping liar of a cooooww cut the crap and dieeee". There's no need for aggro. I just mean they're lying most of the time in situations like that.

Sweetleaf wrote:
It is pretty annoying when you tell someone you're already in a relationship and they refuse to believe you and act angry/irritated


It's pure annoying, aye. Know why? Because when people become aware that we know they're lying, it's embarrassingly unbearable to them.

But again... showing them that we know isn't strictly required. In fact doing that could be extremely impolite. My response to situations like that is: "married... okay, see you around, have a nice day".


Um no its annoying because some of us are actually in a relationship and being accused of being liars is annoying :roll:



MagicKnight
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 14 Mar 2016
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 463

26 Jan 2017, 7:58 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Oh boy, next generation moms, relfex reaction.

Image



LOL yeah!



Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

26 Jan 2017, 8:01 am

TheSpectrum wrote:
Don't mind me. I find longwinded posts exhausting (even though I do read a lot), and saw a lot of testosterone flying around. I like to joke but maybe the E.R was a bit too strong. Im sorry. Back to topic...

I share the sentiment that the places you say are not suitable for meeting strangers apply, but only really to those with health conditions or a mental health diagnosis. A fairly attractive person with some basic social skills could meet people anywhere, and a stage 3 level of interaction as you put it would not be all that rare.


I accept and appreciate your apology. I'll try to be brief.

Young men are full of T+aggression, I think it's natural when someone throws multiple personal attacks at me (not you), of course I'm going to be quite angry.

Your joke sort of added icing on the cake to all that, but I chose not to take it to heart and so asked why it was necessary.

I didn't think you were trying to be malicious, I've seen the joke in other contexts and find it funny, but I couldn't personally fathom how it applied to me since the only time I've seen it is in comments on videos of people actually like E.R.

I'm aware you're a joker (that's ok) and I do believe in freedom of speech and anti-censorhip/PCness strongly, so long as free speech remains semi-civil (think Reddit), which I can't say I'm a shining example of remaining semi-civil atm but I like to think I at least try.

The topic...I'd think even average looking N.T. men/women have to take pre-cautions, but it's not like it's absolutely impossible to cold approach.

It has a stigma against it already, not just here but in 'N.T. world' as well. PUA heavily damaged public perception, and the 'net decreased the frequency it happens.



TheSpectrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,121
Location: Hampshire

26 Jan 2017, 8:02 am

I wouldn't call it lying.

Some people just like attention even if they are spoken for and when it gets too real or they are bored of it or figure the other person is unattractive in some way then they start dropping the hubby bomb. The fantasy of upgrades for males and females is unfortunately all too commonplace in a society that values image and representation over values and loyalty.

A single guy proactively looking for female company is a single guy doing his thing.
Cognitive dissonance on both peoples' parts IMO if the guy is single trying to get a date by being a "friend", and the girl is taken, likes the attention and "thinks" they are going to just be friendly to them.


_________________
Yours sincerely, some dude.


TheSpectrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,121
Location: Hampshire

26 Jan 2017, 8:04 am

MagicKnight wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Oh boy, next generation moms, relfex reaction.

Image



LOL yeah!

Because some egos are too big :D ! !!


_________________
Yours sincerely, some dude.


Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

26 Jan 2017, 8:15 am

Alliekit wrote:
MagicKnight wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Also, why are you so convinced she isn't actually married more often than not when people say they are in a relationship they are in a relationship...and people should respect that.


Hi.

Yes people should respect that, totally. I don't mean one should yell at the woman "heeelll no way you flipping liar of a cooooww cut the crap and dieeee". There's no need for aggro. I just mean they're lying most of the time in situations like that.

Sweetleaf wrote:
It is pretty annoying when you tell someone you're already in a relationship and they refuse to believe you and act angry/irritated


It's pure annoying, aye. Know why? Because when people become aware that we know they're lying, it's embarrassingly unbearable to them.

But again... showing them that we know isn't strictly required. In fact doing that could be extremely impolite. My response to situations like that is: "married... okay, see you around, have a nice day".


Um no its annoying because some of us are actually in a relationship and being accused of being liars is annoying :roll:


I think it's rude of them to do that, but I will point out it is true many women will say this to deter a man from speaking to her anymore if she's not interested, which I think is perfectly okay to do as long as she says it after he asked her out and not as soon as he tries talking to her (at a bar this is ok imo or if you're in a hurry or the man is being creepy/rude/aggressive but saying "I have a boyfriend" to a guy if he just says "Hello, how are you?" for example at day time at a cafe or something seems a bit unnecessary to me. Not rude or cruel, but sort of jumping to conclusions, so to speak.

Lol, I remember a youtube video of Andrew Hails approaching women and as soon as they said they have a boyfriend, he'd ask 'What's his name?'.

I might try and pull that trick just for the lulz, and if they hesitate to respond or can't think quickly on the spot, playfully tease them "Ahhh, you hesitated a bit there." then kindly say "I still think you do have one, but even if you don't I respect your wishes, and I'll leave you be." then do just that.

Would you consider this a perfectly fine thing for a guy to do if he approaches you outside of a bar situation?



MagicKnight
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 14 Mar 2016
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 463

26 Jan 2017, 8:26 am

Alliekit wrote:
Um no its annoying because some of us are actually in a relationship and being accused of being liars is annoying :roll:


First and foremost, look... I'm not trying to make enemies here. I get your point, hope you get mine.

Ok let's roleplay this. A girl tells me she's married, I go away saying "oh that's soooo very nice... see you around", the girl thinks "damnit he doesn't believe me, that's so disrespectful"! So I shouldn't assume she's lying while she is allowed to assume even worse things about me?

Before anything else: I am not saying that married girls shouldn't clearly state their status. I'm not saying every girl should date any stranger that says hi. I am saying that women pull the "sorry I am busy for you freak" card too often and so most of the time yes, they're lying indeed. When a woman is really married or something along these lines she's hell-happy that she can pull that card without having to tell a lie because she loves that card.



Shahunshah
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,225
Location: NZ

26 Jan 2017, 11:53 am

Outrider wrote:
Thanks man.

I appreciate the civil comment.

Of course I expect people to disagree with me, but what I don't appreciate is people calling me a 'creep' simply because they disagree with me and say I deserve 'hostility'.

I'm sure you would agree those are two rude things to say to someone but you don't have to talk about that and I don't want you to because I wouldn't want you to get involved and would respect and admire that you stay neutral.

I agree with what you say.

Which is why I think approaching random women should only be done as a last resort - approaching random women in appropriate, socially acceptable situations that are very unlikely to make her feel uncomfortable or threatened, and respecting her wishes immediately when she rejects you.

When you do things this way, it's unlikely you'll get reported to the police or bashed. Plenty of women do say that a man approaching her the most respectful way does not make her angry or uncomfortable even if she's not interested in him, and say they'll politely reject him and have no problem if he approached her as long as he respected her wishes and left her alone after she rejected him.

Of course approaching women at night or in alleyways or stuff like that is morally wrong and I am entirely against it.

There are multiple ways to meet women and potentially get a girlfriend such as meeting women at mutual interest groups or asking family or friends if they know anyone to set you up with, along with many other methods.

I believe all of these methods should be done first, and if after several years they don't work, then it's about time you start approaching stranger women in appropriate and respectful ways to increase your chances.

Statistically, 'cold approaching' women has a very low success rate, like 1% (one is better than none), and if you ask the vast majority of adults in your family how they met each other, most would not say they met their partner this way.

But it works...sometimes.

My own parents met this way - they were both teens and Dad approached her. He basically called out to her "Hey, you, come over here!", there was a mutual attraction, they chatted, exchanged numbers. A few weeks later they were dating. Months later I was conceived.

It does work better if you're a teen, but if you're a young adult it's also not that bad.

Some people here seem to think I support pick-up artists - I don't.

I dislike pick-up artists, I find them to be very misogynistic.

There is a difference between PUA and approaching women.

PUA is just one of many different methods to approach and try and talk to random women. It's actually the second worst, the worst being actual sexual assault/harassment/rape.

I mostly disagree that talking to the opposite sex your age at pools and the beach is a good idea, but it did happen to me a few weeks ago when a too-young teen girl I obviously wasn't interested in showed interest in me (I caught them looking, her friend said hello for her, the one actually interested in me kept staring in a clearly flirty/"I'm interested in you" way and was nervously giggling).

I think it's a bad idea because I don't see many people talk to strangers at the beach/pool, and the thing is if a teen boy or young man tries talking to a girl or woman his age, she'll...well, she'll probably be wearing a bikini or other revealing swimwear, and this would give her the idea that a big reason he's talking to her is because he's sexually attracted to her body, which is true even if a man tries getting a woman's phone number anywhere else, but it's different at the beach when much of her body is exposed and visible for the man to see.

Do you see what I mean?

I see it as, yes, 'creepy'. But think there are plenty of situations trying to talk to a woman you're interested in (or the opposite) is much more okay to do as long as you know how to handle things (politeness, knowing when to quit, etc.)

Though sometimes the beach and pool can work. If you have a very fit and attractive body, the fact you're showing more skin could impress a person who's already attracted to you and checking you out.


Come to think of it I would agree. It can be very awkward for someone in those situations. I am not really at the point whereby I do anything of that sort don't think I will get round to it either.



Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

26 Jan 2017, 12:31 pm

MagicKnight wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Um no its annoying because some of us are actually in a relationship and being accused of being liars is annoying :roll:


First and foremost, look... I'm not trying to make enemies here. I get your point, hope you get mine.

Ok let's roleplay this. A girl tells me she's married, I go away saying "oh that's soooo very nice... see you around", the girl thinks "damnit he doesn't believe me, that's so disrespectful"! So I shouldn't assume she's lying while she is allowed to assume even worse things about me?

Before anything else: I am not saying that married girls shouldn't clearly state their status. I'm not saying every girl should date any stranger that says hi. I am saying that women pull the "sorry I am busy for you freak" card too often and so most of the time yes, they're lying indeed. When a woman is really married or something along these lines she's hell-happy that she can pull that card without having to tell a lie because she loves that card.


Um why would she think that about you from that response. My thought process would be "he clearly wants somethings else so mevermind"

Your the one who is assuming the worst because you are assuming that someone else is assuming someone. You can't police people thoughts because you don't know them.

It's like you tell someone you're taken and you get accused of being a "liar" or being "stuck up". But if you don't say it you get accused of "leading someone on".

It's must be bad enough for an NT but trying to read when the right time to mention it is hell for an aspie



AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

26 Jan 2017, 12:47 pm

MagicKnight wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Um no its annoying because some of us are actually in a relationship and being accused of being liars is annoying :roll:


First and foremost, look... I'm not trying to make enemies here. I get your point, hope you get mine.

Ok let's roleplay this. A girl tells me she's married, I go away saying "oh that's soooo very nice... see you around", the girl thinks "damnit he doesn't believe me, that's so disrespectful"! So I shouldn't assume she's lying while she is allowed to assume even worse things about me?

Before anything else: I am not saying that married girls shouldn't clearly state their status. I'm not saying every girl should date any stranger that says hi. I am saying that women pull the "sorry I am busy for you freak" card too often and so most of the time yes, they're lying indeed. When a woman is really married or something along these lines she's hell-happy that she can pull that card without having to tell a lie because she loves that card.

I used to say this a lot about guys who whine about feminists, but it applies here, too. If a girl treats you that way, whether she's lying or not, what do you even care what she thinks or what she has to say? No, that's not the kind of psycho I want to be involved with. Showing her true colors like that is doing me a favor by not wasting my time. Just move on. If you feel the need to say anything, it goes something like this: "My mistake, ma'am. Sorry to have bothered you. Have a good one!"

Wrt alliekit, I hate that you have to put up with garbage like that. Guys like that ruin it for the rest us.

[Random thought alert]
Come to think of it, we never stopped dating. We just moved into whole new territory. It went from dating to almost exclusively nights in to going out once a month. At this stage in our relationship, we call it "family night." Most recently we decided to stop being so isolated, so we started asking other people out to join our "family." Nothing weird, just conversation and a good meal. We adopted this elderly lady, and later on we started hearing about it from her children who are dispersed throughout the US. They're jealous that we spend so much time with her, partly guilty, but also seem amazed that we're so willing to take care of her.
[/random thought]