Can you be happy while you're single?

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hurtloam
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05 Mar 2017, 4:06 am

I don't think it's the being single that's the source of the unhappiness.

It's that knawing feeling that's always there: "why am I not good enough for anyone?"

"Why do other people float into relationships easily like it's normal, but it's impossible for me?"

That makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. It's not nice to feel like something is wrong with you. It's not pleasant to feel overlooked and feel like no one can love you.

Why am I unlovable, but other people are?



dkraps95
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05 Mar 2017, 7:44 am

In my opinion, you can be.
I don't put any pressure on myself to date, or fall in love.
my favourite quote is " take life 1 day at a time".

( Taken from Cristy Lane's gospel single " One Day at a time". :D



RetroGamer87
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08 Mar 2017, 6:50 am

Image

^This makes me mad that I only had a minimal amount of sex in my 20s.


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RetroGamer87
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08 Mar 2017, 7:14 am

Image


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hurtloam
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11 Mar 2017, 5:25 pm

You won't cheer yourself up looking for images like that.

Try this instead

https://www.humana.com/learning-center/health-and-wellbeing/mental-health/pets

Image



Ecomatt91
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11 Mar 2017, 7:36 pm

I believe he mean taking an action from that the image says. Not about looking at it. Cuddling and hugging is most alleviation way to reduce tensions inside your brain. It reduces heart rate, that stops anxiety. It avoids depression over time.

Free hugs social experiment like I did last year and all the videos I witnessed on Youtube did made amazing results to people. Hugging and cuddling is not sexual. Like nudity is means not sexual either. Totally separated way and different purpose. Hate this media influences our thoughts which making ourselves uncomfortable.



RetroGamer87
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11 Mar 2017, 10:01 pm

Ecomatt91 wrote:
Hugging and cuddling is not sexual.
No they're not sexual but one can get better/more cuddling from one's lover while laying next to them in bed then one can get from a stranger giving out free hugs.

As you say, nudity is not sexual, neither is skin on skin contact. Your lover might wear panties, a nightgown or nothing to bed. You might wear briefs, a singlet or nothing to bed. This facilates more skin to skin contact, which is more beneficial then hugging a stranger wearing a jacket.

I've only had two girlfriends but some of my best bed moments with them were the times we weren't having sex. Even during sex I got more enjoyment from the physical and emotional closeness than from the actual sex.


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Ecomatt91
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12 Mar 2017, 12:53 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
Hugging and cuddling is not sexual.
No they're not sexual but one can get better/more cuddling from one's lover while laying next to them in bed then one can get from a stranger giving out free hugs.

As you say, nudity is not sexual, neither is skin on skin contact. Your lover might wear panties, a nightgown or nothing to bed. You might wear briefs, a singlet or nothing to bed. This facilates more skin to skin contact, which is more beneficial then hugging a stranger wearing a jacket.

I've only had two girlfriends but some of my best bed moments with them were the times we weren't having sex. Even during sex I got more enjoyment from the physical and emotional closeness than from the actual sex.


You got that right. I was talking to one of my friends, a psychologist a week ago and the lady who runs the local Autism group on other day told me these things from the media and technology influences is taking toll on people mentality, comfort level and confidence. They said NTs are more prone to these influences than people with disabilities, more reference to Autism.

Lucky you I never had a girlfriend and I am 26. I am still struggling to get dates and that. I am stuck between who is not available to those are available (but not seeing me attractive nor they want to stay single and independent). I hate dating websites and that. its stupid and money greed. I want traditional way like meet face-to-face.



hurtloam
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12 Mar 2017, 2:13 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
I believe he mean taking an action from that the image says. Not about looking at it. . Totally separated way and different purpose. .


Lol Ecomatt91 you took my comment way too literally. I meant don't dwell on what the text says because if you're alone there's nothing you can do about not getting hugs. It's best not to focus too much on what you can't have for the sake of your sanity.



RetroGamer87
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12 Mar 2017, 3:43 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
Hugging and cuddling is not sexual.
No they're not sexual but one can get better/more cuddling from one's lover while laying next to them in bed then one can get from a stranger giving out free hugs.

As you say, nudity is not sexual, neither is skin on skin contact. Your lover might wear panties, a nightgown or nothing to bed. You might wear briefs, a singlet or nothing to bed. This facilates more skin to skin contact, which is more beneficial then hugging a stranger wearing a jacket.

I've only had two girlfriends but some of my best bed moments with them were the times we weren't having sex. Even during sex I got more enjoyment from the physical and emotional closeness than from the actual sex.
You got that right. I was talking to one of my friends, a psychologist a week ago and the lady who runs the local Autism group on other day told me these things from the media and technology influences is taking toll on people mentality, comfort level and confidence. They said NTs are more prone to these influences than people with disabilities, more reference to Autism.

Lucky you I never had a girlfriend and I am 26. I am still struggling to get dates and that. I am stuck between who is not available to those are available (but not seeing me attractive nor they want to stay single and independent). I hate dating websites and that. its stupid and money greed. I want traditional way like meet face-to-face.
When I was 26 I had not yet met my first girlfriend.

I think that technology is a double edged sword. Yes, the internet takes the place of person to person contact for both young men and young women. I spoke to an older guy who said when he started dating at about 14, which was perfectly normal in those days he's observed that nowadays many young people don't date.

Young men spend too much time on the internet (I include myself in this). Young women also spend too much time on the internet. Both go out in public while looking at Facebook on their smartphones. 40 years ago young men and young women talked to each other, instead of looking at smartphones.

I say technology is a double edged sword becuase if I had more real world contact it would comfort me but technology is also a comfort. That's the problem. Being in a crowded place can be stressful but looking at my phone helps me find the isolation I crave. Funny that I should crave both more isolation and more contact with other people.

I enjoy talking to people on the internet but there's some pretty crappy people on the internet. In real life people are more likely to behave themselves.


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WantToHaveALife
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12 Mar 2017, 11:34 pm

hurtloam wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
be glad you have had a relationship before


What if like me you haven't?


i'm guessing you are in your teens?


I'm 35


really, so 35 and never had a boyfriend?


That's nothing, one of my best friends is 40 and never had a boyfriend. We have each other at least. It's not really the same though.


it always makes me feel more better whenever i hear of a woman past a certain and is still single, never had a bf, more than the other way around, because like i have said thousands of times before, it's easy to think women are less at risk of being single that long compared to men because women don't have to be the initiators



RetroGamer87
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12 Mar 2017, 11:54 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
be glad you have had a relationship before


What if like me you haven't?


i'm guessing you are in your teens?


I'm 35


really, so 35 and never had a boyfriend?


That's nothing, one of my best friends is 40 and never had a boyfriend. We have each other at least. It's not really the same though.


it always makes me feel more better whenever i hear of a woman past a certain and is still single, never had a bf, more than the other way around, because like i have said thousands of times before, it's easy to think women are less at risk of being single that long compared to men because women don't have to be the initiators


That still makes women at risk of being single. If men are the initiators and no man initiates dating with a particular woman, it's a lot harder for her to break out of being single than it would be for you and I.


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