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QuillAlba
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28 Jul 2017, 10:54 pm

slw1990 wrote:
He's starting to contact me again, but he mentioned that he wasn't having any luck on the dating site. It makes me think that he's probably just lonely because he said before that he didn't think that we had anything to talk about.


It's better to wait for someone who will appreciate you and put you at the top of any dating list than a dressed up booty call.
You deserve better S, keep looking.



slw1990
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29 Jul 2017, 12:45 am

QuillAlba wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
He's starting to contact me again, but he mentioned that he wasn't having any luck on the dating site. It makes me think that he's probably just lonely because he said before that he didn't think that we had anything to talk about.


It's better to wait for someone who will appreciate you and put you at the top of any dating list than a dressed up booty call.
You deserve better S, keep looking.


That's what I was thinking. Then he said that he was frustrated because he thought I didn't want to be around him because I mentioned that when I'm really tired I don't talk much.



slw1990
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29 Jul 2017, 9:04 pm

He also seems to think that I might be more interesting than I seem. It makes me wonder if he might just be making up a version of me that's not real. He' been asking questions about my personal experiences though.



MaxE
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30 Jul 2017, 5:45 am

slw1990 wrote:
He's starting to contact me again, but he mentioned that he wasn't having any luck on the dating site. It makes me think that he's probably just lonely because he said before that he didn't think that we had anything to talk about.
When I was single a girl more or less rejected me then called me perhaps a year later, apologized for not having been especially nice to me, and asked me if I wanted to hang out. I subsequently dated her for about 6 months until personality problems (mine) brought the relationship to an end.

I actually think you have to be open-minded when dating, apart from the obvious such as behavior that is clearly threatening or misogynistic. You don't really know why a person does what they do; if you knew you might discover there's a perfectly good reason. You also have to assume the other person is as awkward as you are. A genuine "playah" would never act like this, but of course you're not looking for a playah. I would see it as a good thing that he wants you to talk about yourself.

I know all this sounds pretty lame but I just felt like saying it. OTOH you must have some level of interest/attraction to still be posting about this. This could at least be a learning experience for both of you, but you'll learn nothing if you choose to opt out.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Jul 2017, 1:57 pm

You like the guy, ça se voit.

You're still talking about him.



slw1990
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02 Aug 2017, 12:35 am

We met up again and it seemed like things went better. I feel like he might just be showing interest in me only because he feels like I'm the only option he has though. Last week I asked him why he started contacting me again a part of what he said was that he had nothing to lose. It also soind like he doesn't have much relationship experience.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Aug 2017, 1:29 am

^ I will tell you a secret slw, since dating sites are extreme sausage fest , then most guys there will date you because you're the current only option - the only one who said yes for the time being, check how extremely unbalanced the gender numbers here:
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopi ... 6&t=342818

There are women who got married knowing (or probably not realizing) that they were the only option:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=275052



Sabreclaw
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02 Aug 2017, 1:37 am

slw1990 wrote:
We met up again and it seemed like things went better. I feel like he might just be showing interest in me only because he feels like I'm the only option he has though. Last week I asked him why he started contacting me again a part of what he said was that he had nothing to lose. It also soind like he doesn't have much relationship experience.


Being a guy with no relationship experience myself I can sympathize with his position, but you really should avoid him. If he's straight up telling you he's got nothing to lose it's clear that he doesn't find you special, he's just desperate to get anybody.

Don't be with the guy who'll take anybody. Be with the guy who wants YOU.



hurtloam
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02 Aug 2017, 4:50 am

But something could develop over time. You never know.

Or maybe not. But cutting it short will not let you see what happens. Could end up just being friends, which would still be nice.



MaxE
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02 Aug 2017, 5:00 am

hurtloam wrote:
But something could develop over time. You never know.

Or maybe not. But cutting it short will not let you see what happens. Could end up just being friends, which would still be nice.
^This


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The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Aug 2017, 5:12 am

At least he's being bluntly honest about you being his only option for the time being. That's a positive trait.

Even I not that honest, I wouldn't reveal that.



MaxE
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02 Aug 2017, 5:13 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ I will tell you a secret slw, since dating sites are extreme sausage fest , then most guys there will date you because you're the current only option - the only one who said yes for the time being, check how extremely unbalanced the gender numbers here:
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopi ... 6&t=342818

There are women who got married knowing (or probably not realizing) that they were the only option:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=275052
I would say pretty much everybody I have dated could have been considered my only "option" at the time, including my current wife to whom I've been married over 30 years. Otherwise it would have involved rejecting one option for somebody else. I can think of just one situation where I actually left one person for somebody else*, which means that I had the option of staying with the first person. But I feel confident saying that women do that all the time without any sense of having been unfair to the person they left — it was just time to move on.

At the risk of belaboring my point, the example I gave in my early reply to this thread, of a young woman contacting me a year or so after having dumped me, and I dated her nevertheless. When she dumped me earlier, I'm quite certain she had the option of dating me or this other person, and went with the other person. Then that option didn't work out, and she went to option B. Granted she did sort of apologize.

*which had I done so, I would have only done out of an extreme sense of loyalty.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Aug 2017, 5:21 am

MaxE wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ I will tell you a secret slw, since dating sites are extreme sausage fest , then most guys there will date you because you're the current only option - the only one who said yes for the time being, check how extremely unbalanced the gender numbers here:
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopi ... 6&t=342818

There are women who got married knowing (or probably not realizing) that they were the only option:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=275052
I would say pretty much everybody I have dated could have been considered my only "option" at the time, including my current wife to whom I've been married over 30 years. Otherwise it would have involved rejecting one option for somebody else. I can think of just one situation where I actually left one person for somebody else*, which means that I had the option of staying with the first person. But I feel confident saying that women do that all the time without any sense of having been unfair to the person they left — it was just time to move on.

At the risk of belaboring my point, the example I gave in my early reply to this thread, of a young woman contacting me a year or so after having dumped me, and I dated her nevertheless. When she dumped me earlier, I'm quite certain she had the option of dating me or this other person, and went with the other person. Then that option didn't work out, and she went to option B. Granted she did sort of apologize.

*which had I done so, I would have only done out of an extreme sense of loyalty.




Oh, it's so nice when some leaves you for option B, then the option B turns out to be not compatible for her, so they attempt to return to you; only so you reject them. :mrgreen:

This kinda happened to me, she dropped me like a hot potato and went for MY FRIEND the moment I introduced him to her : ie. she stopped texting me all the sudden and started to text him instead, he showed me all - then after my friend rejected her and blocked her she suddenly started to show me obvious interest again (ie. by texting good mornings...etc) , but too late, I didn't give a second chance so I haven't reciprocated her second attempt bahahaha (I was seeing someone else back then) - sweet revenge.



sly279
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02 Aug 2017, 9:16 am

I always took what do I have to lose as throwing caution to the wind. Maybe he was nervous about messaging you that it wouldn't work out. I get that way and people tell me what do you got to lose from trying.



slw1990
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02 Aug 2017, 12:50 pm

If he sees me as his only option then once another girl shows interest he would just drop me.

In his match questions it looked like he had some standards.

He told me that he didn't talk to me because he felt frustrated by me being quiet because he didn't think I wanted to do anything with him.



sly279
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02 Aug 2017, 7:10 pm

slw1990 wrote:
If he sees me as his only option then once another girl shows interest he would just drop me.

In his match questions it looked like he had some standards.

He told me that he didn't talk to me because he felt frustrated by me being quiet because he didn't think I wanted to do anything with him.

That would make you come off as uninterested.