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Chronos
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15 Oct 2017, 4:51 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Chronos wrote:
If I were to marry someone and the plan was to conform to traditional gender roles, we had children, and I was the stay at home care giver, then I would expect him to be able to earn enough to support a family such that he could both fulfill our respective roles.

However, if I were the wage earner and he, the care giver, that would be fine with me, provided he actually attended to his domestic duties sufficiently.

If children were not involved, and we both worked, it would be nice if he made more than me, but not a deal breaker. However I would prefer he made enough to at least support himself.

However, regardless, I would not pass up someone I was very attracted to, and who was also very attracted to me, based on earning power alone.

As for single women who refuse to even look at men who earn less than they do, when she, herself earns a high salary, they can stay in their self imposed lonesomeness along with men who are single because they refuse to even consider a woman their age or a few years older.

I think it was OK Cupid that once released an article based on their data, which noted that men would have significantly more success dating on their website if they were more open to dating women their own age.


OK Cupid also released data showing that women rated 80% of the men below average, while the men rated 50% of the women below average.

It's largely women who need a reality check, not men.


It could be that they are rating the men shown to them, which are likely chosen by the algorithm based on not only their preferences, but the preferences of the men. Because most men put preferences for younger women, these women are likely seeing a large number of men who are a little too old for them, and based on my experience, who probably also think "a few extra pounds" means 40lbs overweight.

But let's compare the ideal man and ideal women according to men and women.

Image

Image

I think the men's ideal of a woman who is a 10 deviates a lot more from the realm of possibility than the woman's idea of a man who is a 10. In any case,

But the reality is, most women don't look like either of those women and most men don't look like either of those men and ugly people get married. This has been discussed before but one of the problems with online dating is it's not a realm in which many of the factors integral to human attraction can be expressed and perceived, so people default to shallow when it comes to looks.


Is it weird if I think the perfect female body according to women looks better than the perfect female body according to men, even though I'm a man?


No. My male friend thinks Kim Kardashian is ugly. The photos above represent the average ideal man and women with respect to the preferences of the sample population. There will be people in that sample population who's personal tastes differ.



BTDT
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15 Oct 2017, 8:16 am

sly279 wrote:
What’s wrong with cooking meals at home?


The usual issue is that the responsibility falls on the wife to do that. But, we ate much better when I took over that job. Much more economically as well. While I bought more expensive food, I cut the waste way down, so the grocery bill was actually a lot lower.

If cooking is something you are good at, perhaps this is an undervalued skill that you could use to get a better job. And something you need to advertise to potential partners.



Fireblossom
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15 Oct 2017, 8:38 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Yes, guys might turn me down 'cause I'm:
1. Unemployed
2. Socially akward (which breaks down to various little things that average NT might have trouble with)
3. A person with an uncureable disability (which might cause serious health and financial issues in the future)
4. Someone with a scarred body that has been over weight.


Those would all be red flags for me. A long term relationship may eventually lead to cohabitation and I can't do that with someone who can't pay for half our combined living expenses.


I completely agree; I don't think I could get in to a relationship with a guy who can't pull their own weight, either. But I might also be wrong; for all I know I could one day fall in love with an unemployed guy in a wheelchair or something... if that happens then I suppose I wouldn't mind being the one who handles most of the expences as long as I have a salary big enough to do it.



Outrider
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15 Oct 2017, 8:49 am

hale_bopp wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Halebop you can't tell people when to stop struggling and give in to the single life. They need to find that on their own. No amount of posting will change anyone's mind.

I've had to reach that point by myself.

I've had years of older women telling me I'll be happier if I stop looking for love and I just thought they were sad and pathetic and I didn't want to be like them. It hurt me more that they thought I was not good enough to be loved.

They were trying to help me find a happier way of living, but i saw it as telling me that I'm a loser.

Now I'm older and more tired and a bit less interested in sex I've settled into accepting a life on my own.

I still feel like a loser. I'm still hurt that I'm one of the ones who isn't able to participate in that aspect of being human. I'm still hurt that no men thought I was good enough for them.

Maybe in time I'll get over it. But I'm still grieving.

Needing love is normal. It's part of being human. We're all born with that desire and it is strong.

It's not about thinking we 'deserve' or are owed anything. It's just a normal desire.

We were all brought up to believe we would be like most people and find something that is normal for most. That's to be expected.

There's no point getting angry at people who are still learning to accept that they can't have what is so simple for the majority of people.


Pretty sure that's a completely different situation. I'm not judging people for wanting love. The problem is they complain about how other people are the problem and refuse to try to improve themselves, self reflect and grow. I don't understand the moaning. Even when I thought that's what I wanted, I didn't moan every time I got turned down. I just don't get it.

When someone says the "expect" something from someone, it means they think they deserve other people to give them a chance when quite frankly, it's not what the other people want.


No, that's not what I meant at all and you simply assumed that by Tue qprd expect.

I meant when two people are attracted to each other but one person still rejects or breaks up with the other person.

Chronos said it best, if she fell in love withaan and he tonher she said she wouldn't care about how much money he makes.

Relationships are about equality, compromise.

No one here should have to make all the effort to change themselves to fit into the NT lifestyle for a partner while your partner didn't try to understand you or your mental health issues.

That's an imbalanced relationship.

People nowadays are selfish and unwilling to put any work into a relationship anything less than perfect.

If I has a girlfriend I would make the effort to improve myself and life and understand her and put as much work into it as possibe but I am.not on the same lvel as an average NT.

If she wanted to be with me I expect her to.meet me.halfway, try and ubderstand me and my issues otherwise she is not relationship material for me.



Sweetleaf
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15 Oct 2017, 11:40 am

sly279 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Why do guys get so angry about the income thing? So women find middle-class guys more attractive. So what? So guys find women with waist to hip ratio of 0.7 more attractive. So what.

Expecting women to disregard your income would be just as foolish as expecting you to disregard her looks. Do you expect all women to act like selfless saints and date paupers? Only if men act like selfless saints and date unattractive women.

I hear all this stuff about how "Women won't date me because I'm poor" or "Women won't date me because I'm short" or "Women won't date me because I'm ugly". Well women are allowed to have preferences in dating just like you are so if she wants to date a tall, rich, handsome man, that's her choice.

I don't get why it's a sin for women to not be attracted to poor guys (or short guys). It's not a sin for women to exercise their choice.

I've been there. I used to work part time for low pay. I had never had a girlfriend. Instead of complaining about how women only like financially secure guys, I quit my part time job, lost 120 pounds, got a full time job at $55,000 per year and since then I've had three girlfriends.

The solution to the problem is not for women to change their preferences so they like poor guys. They don't have to. It's not illegal for them to prefer middle class guys. The solution is for poor men to get paying jobs. Yes I know this not a trivial task. It's a very difficult task. But job searching is more productive than complaining.


Cause men don’t say other men don’t like women for their looks, but so many women deny women care about a mans income or status. It’s like freaking holocaust deniers pisses me off, it’s bad enough I have to be constantly demeaned and rejected cause of my status and job but then to have women here tell me I’m making it all up. Freak that.

Also I don’t care about a woman’s weight as long as she’s not super obese wats waist to hip ratiO? I’d never judge a woman so superficially sounds like the bad guy from the zoohand where he has a gf with the “perfect ass to noon ratiO” that’s super superficial to talk about a woman that way. Difference is I acknowledge alt of men are that way and do see women as sex objects.

Yes they are, people are allowed to be horrible people. But we are allowed to call them out on it just like racists or a*****les. Don’t like being called superficial r horrible person, then don’t be one. My ex friend had every right to be a ass to everyone he meets, but doesn’t mean he has the right not to be called an ass.


Plenty of women do care about a mans status and income, and will say so quite openly...but not every individual women is like that, if one expresses they don't care so much about those things they aren't saying no women are like that just that they themselves aren't. I don't doubt women have rejected you based on status and job, but that is not to say its impossible you'd meet one who doesn't.

Why will you say that to me but not hale boop and other deniers?
I never said it’s every woman, it’s just the major and those who aren’t get into relationships quickly causes there’s a lot more options to women who don’t care, while women who do have a lot fewer options and so this make up most of the single women population.
She’s not just saying she’s not like that she’s claiming none all and I’m just lying and insane.

It’s highly highly improbable I’ll ever meet a single woman who doesn’t and also shares my interests, finds me attractive and wants to date me.
You’re like that but your in a relationship and even if you weren’t we aren’t compatible and you likely don’t find me attractive.

Vs if I was well off I’d have a much larger pool of single women


Well my comment was more for everyone, and it occurs that it has to be a good majority otherwise this wouldn't be an issue that exists. Trouble is I think some of it has to do with what has been expected of women, like many have been socialized to believe they need a successful man to take care of them. Granted there are some just over-all nasty women with that mentality, but I think for some its been engrained by parents/grandparents/relatives that, that is what they are supposed to value in a man. I mean even my grandmother tried to convince me of of things like that.

If you were well off you may have a larger pool, but then you might get a gold digger...


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15 Oct 2017, 6:55 pm

sly279 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
As I posted earlier, I dated and eventually married a man who, at the time we got together, was making significantly less than I was.

Discussions like this as are a scapegoat. Instead of doing the work to figure out what one's assets are, and to improve them if one doesn't like what they see on the tally sheet, people try to blame it all on some standard held by other parties. Well, that is garbage. It is self-defeating.

Some people can’t change their situations. That’s how the world works. Be it me or some poor farmer in china who can’t escape the farm. Poor people tend to stay poor generation to generation othing changes for most. That poor Irish guys family were poor iirish immigrants.

I’m permanently disabled, I’ve been on disability since 15 I’ll be on it til I die so that means my income will always be about 1,000 a month. That can’t be changed. So I’ll keep being upset at women who won’t date me over something I can’t change. Be glad your son isn’t as disabled. But he hasn’t finished college yet which is where he’ll find out. I did very good in college. I was on the deans list and a honor student. None of that helped me in the real world.

So I’m tired of being told I’m just lazy and not trying to change, if I could get s job that paid $50 an hour for 20 hours a week I would but what job pays that other then ceos or executives and they work 50+ hours a week.

All that’s in my power to change is my body weight and I’m doing that at great expense to me.


I have never called you lazy. Locked into your thinking, yes, and I know that ASD does that. But not lazy. I know how hard you all work to get through a single day.

You may never change the ability to earn more money, but you do have the ability to figure out if there is some positive to bring to a relationship that does not involve money. I've tried to lead you there, to get you to self-asses and find more assets, but you are locked into your thinking. If anyone should be ignoring statistics, it should be you. You aren't a statistic.

Perhaps because you were good at school you might make a great home school parent. Or someone really good at helping their partner with research, and in that way supporting their career. Brainstorm. What kinds of things have others looked to you for, ever? If I knew more about you, I might brainstorm better.

I've helped my son work around his disabilities. Yes, he has some. But he also has strengths, and he has successfully held several different jobs. His whole life we've been working on the "maximize your strengths, minimize your disabilities" game. He also grew up with a much more severely affected peer, and the community has been doing the same for that young man. It isn't about working harder, but navigating smarter. Do you have anyone in real life who can help you with that? Figuring it out on your own may not be realistic.

I don't know if you can get there. I don't know what is meant to be for you. I do know you can't let some article allow you to feel its all hopeless.


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15 Oct 2017, 7:45 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
What’s wrong with cooking meals at home? What’s wrong with simple used furniture.

But I like my $2,000 couch. I like my $1,200 bed. I love eating out all the time! And going to restaurants is even better when you take your girlfriend!

I don't think I could date a minimum wage girl. One time I was interested in an unemployed girl. She asked to borrow $50 for her medication and never paid it back. Maybe I should just stick to middle class girls.


Everyone has different wants, needs and expectations. And that is usually OK.

We all just have to find the person who fits in with ours.

I've seen some solid matches among people who never would seem like an obvious candidate to anyone else. That's why I tell people on this board to never give up. Just because a person may be looking for a needle in haystack doens't mean they will never find the needle. Fate does what it is going to do. One just can't know.


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15 Oct 2017, 7:53 pm

I may never find that needle. Sometimes I think my needs are too specific.

I can get along with most people but I can only be really relaxed around a small fraction of people. That's my needle, finding a girl I feel really relaxed around and she with me.

Fate may be planning to screw me over.


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15 Oct 2017, 8:09 pm

I think it is pretty obvious that Sly is right in that women of his social class are really looking to move up--they need more financial security and will do things like having a kid with an older guy having a mid life crises to get child support payments. And this isn't going to get fixed by government as long as we have a guy in the White House who wants cheap labor for his businesse even it means throwing ethics under a bus. There are so many bodies under that bus that it isn't going anywhere.
So, this means he really needs to be looking higher or lower. It is easier for a guy to aim lower, as this is in line with social norms. Perhaps someone on permanent disability, with no prospects of ever having even a part time job. Maybe someone who does part time volunteer work. There are different aspects to permanent disability. There are really smart people who have either anxiety disorders or schizophrenia. And you have people with learning disorders. Yes, there are non-verbal Aspies who would like to be in a relationship. As well as various physical disabilities, such as blindness or the inability to walk. The spectrum of disability is huge.

Aiming higher would be easier if you were able to cultivate a useful talent or gift.



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15 Oct 2017, 8:21 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
What’s wrong with cooking meals at home? What’s wrong with simple used furniture.

But I like my $2,000 couch. I like my $1,200 bed. I love eating out all the time! And going to restaurants is even better when you take your girlfriend!

I don't think I could date a minimum wage girl. One time I was interested in an unemployed girl. She asked to borrow $50 for her medication and never paid it back. Maybe I should just stick to middle class girls.

If yiu can afford such things yiu could still afford them after.
What I mean is a woman who can’t pay for such things alone and she will only date a guy who can make buying them possible. Reality is they want to live boyond their current lifestyle which is the only reason to want s guy who makes as much or more then them. I have stuff too I don’t require women have the tuff I have. I’d share my stuff with them gladly.

As for medication was she yiur gf? Do you love her did you want her to not get sick or die? I think not. Or you’d been fine getting her medication she needed and her yiu if the situation was reversed. I don’t have much money far less then yiu but I’d buy my gf medication she needed if I could afford it and she couldn’t. I’d probably y her a phone if she didn’t have one, it’s probably be cheap. Reality is I’d probably spend every scent I have and make on a gf if I had one but it’s not enough for most women they want someone who can spend far greater every month on them.
I see cute clothes at work all the time and shoes. I’d spoil a gf as much as I could on my income. Wouldn’t think twice about it. I simply can’t afford to spend $50+ a night multiple nights a week to eat out. Do single women spend $300+ a week on dinner food ? Why do they expect guys to? My monthly food budge is $100 blows my mind what people spend to eat out, it could feed so many starving people. I eat out like 1-5 times a year. It’s good food and all but $25 a person is a lot for a single meal. And I usually go to the same place, cause what if I go else where an doay that and the food is awful



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15 Oct 2017, 8:27 pm

BTDT wrote:
sly279 wrote:
What’s wrong with cooking meals at home?


The usual issue is that the responsibility falls on the wife to do that. But, we ate much better when I took over that job. Much more economically as well. While I bought more expensive food, I cut the waste way down, so the grocery bill was actually a lot lower.

If cooking is something you are good at, perhaps this is an undervalued skill that you could use to get a better job. And something you need to advertise to potential partners.

I cook from boxes and recipes. I can’t even remember the pancake recipe so I wrote it down.
Im not a great cook, I guess I’m just not lazy. I make most my families food even if it’s just sliding a pizza in the oven.<- making dinner can be that simple why can’t most guys do it? I buy frozen chicken and make rice in my rice cooker. I can cook from raw chicken but it takes longer, is messier, and has more waste for someone who dislikes fat on their meat. I make hamburgers and homemade fries too.even bought s fri cutter though I can’t eat them anymore. :(
I doubt women would care that I can cook unless they burn everything they try to make. I recently got my grilled cheese to 50\50 burnt and good. Far better then burning 100% of them. Anyways I imagine such women just eat out or do TV dinners unless they burn them too and prefer a guy with income rather then one who can cook.



sly279
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15 Oct 2017, 8:30 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Yes, guys might turn me down 'cause I'm:
1. Unemployed
2. Socially akward (which breaks down to various little things that average NT might have trouble with)
3. A person with an uncureable disability (which might cause serious health and financial issues in the future)
4. Someone with a scarred body that has been over weight.


Those would all be red flags for me. A long term relationship may eventually lead to cohabitation and I can't do that with someone who can't pay for half our combined living expenses.


I completely agree; I don't think I could get in to a relationship with a guy who can't pull their own weight, either. But I might also be wrong; for all I know I could one day fall in love with an unemployed guy in a wheelchair or something... if that happens then I suppose I wouldn't mind being the one who handles most of the expences as long as I have a salary big enough to do it.

Why does it matter. You’re already paying the bills. 0.o will your income suddenly decrease upon getting a bf? No so you’re have the same house, same bills, same income, but now you’re have love and companionship, so unless you want a bf so you can have nicer things and better services I don’t get why him needing to pay half the bills you already pay matters. Surely I’d say he pays 1/4 of them your paying less and now have more disposable income then yiu did previously what is so wrong with that? :(



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15 Oct 2017, 8:32 pm

Outrider wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Halebop you can't tell people when to stop struggling and give in to the single life. They need to find that on their own. No amount of posting will change anyone's mind.

I've had to reach that point by myself.

I've had years of older women telling me I'll be happier if I stop looking for love and I just thought they were sad and pathetic and I didn't want to be like them. It hurt me more that they thought I was not good enough to be loved.

They were trying to help me find a happier way of living, but i saw it as telling me that I'm a loser.

Now I'm older and more tired and a bit less interested in sex I've settled into accepting a life on my own.

I still feel like a loser. I'm still hurt that I'm one of the ones who isn't able to participate in that aspect of being human. I'm still hurt that no men thought I was good enough for them.

Maybe in time I'll get over it. But I'm still grieving.

Needing love is normal. It's part of being human. We're all born with that desire and it is strong.

It's not about thinking we 'deserve' or are owed anything. It's just a normal desire.

We were all brought up to believe we would be like most people and find something that is normal for most. That's to be expected.

There's no point getting angry at people who are still learning to accept that they can't have what is so simple for the majority of people.


Pretty sure that's a completely different situation. I'm not judging people for wanting love. The problem is they complain about how other people are the problem and refuse to try to improve themselves, self reflect and grow. I don't understand the moaning. Even when I thought that's what I wanted, I didn't moan every time I got turned down. I just don't get it.

When someone says the "expect" something from someone, it means they think they deserve other people to give them a chance when quite frankly, it's not what the other people want.


No, that's not what I meant at all and you simply assumed that by Tue qprd expect.

I meant when two people are attracted to each other but one person still rejects or breaks up with the other person.

Chronos said it best, if she fell in love withaan and he tonher she said she wouldn't care about how much money he makes.

Relationships are about equality, compromise.

No one here should have to make all the effort to change themselves to fit into the NT lifestyle for a partner while your partner didn't try to understand you or your mental health issues.

That's an imbalanced relationship.

People nowadays are selfish and unwilling to put any work into a relationship anything less than perfect.

If I has a girlfriend I would make the effort to improve myself and life and understand her and put as much work into it as possibe but I am.not on the same lvel as an average NT.

If she wanted to be with me I expect her to.meet me.halfway, try and ubderstand me and my issues otherwise she is not relationship material for me.


True. I’m spending a lot of money on gym and clothes, starving myself, and going to the gym giving up all my free time so I can lose weight and be thin all so I have a slightly higher chance to be with women who are fat and have no interest in being healthier or getting thin.



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15 Oct 2017, 8:41 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Why do guys get so angry about the income thing? So women find middle-class guys more attractive. So what? So guys find women with waist to hip ratio of 0.7 more attractive. So what.

Expecting women to disregard your income would be just as foolish as expecting you to disregard her looks. Do you expect all women to act like selfless saints and date paupers? Only if men act like selfless saints and date unattractive women.

I hear all this stuff about how "Women won't date me because I'm poor" or "Women won't date me because I'm short" or "Women won't date me because I'm ugly". Well women are allowed to have preferences in dating just like you are so if she wants to date a tall, rich, handsome man, that's her choice.

I don't get why it's a sin for women to not be attracted to poor guys (or short guys). It's not a sin for women to exercise their choice.

I've been there. I used to work part time for low pay. I had never had a girlfriend. Instead of complaining about how women only like financially secure guys, I quit my part time job, lost 120 pounds, got a full time job at $55,000 per year and since then I've had three girlfriends.

The solution to the problem is not for women to change their preferences so they like poor guys. They don't have to. It's not illegal for them to prefer middle class guys. The solution is for poor men to get paying jobs. Yes I know this not a trivial task. It's a very difficult task. But job searching is more productive than complaining.


Cause men don’t say other men don’t like women for their looks, but so many women deny women care about a mans income or status. It’s like freaking holocaust deniers pisses me off, it’s bad enough I have to be constantly demeaned and rejected cause of my status and job but then to have women here tell me I’m making it all up. Freak that.

Also I don’t care about a woman’s weight as long as she’s not super obese wats waist to hip ratiO? I’d never judge a woman so superficially sounds like the bad guy from the zoohand where he has a gf with the “perfect ass to noon ratiO” that’s super superficial to talk about a woman that way. Difference is I acknowledge alt of men are that way and do see women as sex objects.

Yes they are, people are allowed to be horrible people. But we are allowed to call them out on it just like racists or a*****les. Don’t like being called superficial r horrible person, then don’t be one. My ex friend had every right to be a ass to everyone he meets, but doesn’t mean he has the right not to be called an ass.


Plenty of women do care about a mans status and income, and will say so quite openly...but not every individual women is like that, if one expresses they don't care so much about those things they aren't saying no women are like that just that they themselves aren't. I don't doubt women have rejected you based on status and job, but that is not to say its impossible you'd meet one who doesn't.

Why will you say that to me but not hale boop and other deniers?
I never said it’s every woman, it’s just the major and those who aren’t get into relationships quickly causes there’s a lot more options to women who don’t care, while women who do have a lot fewer options and so this make up most of the single women population.
She’s not just saying she’s not like that she’s claiming none all and I’m just lying and insane.

It’s highly highly improbable I’ll ever meet a single woman who doesn’t and also shares my interests, finds me attractive and wants to date me.
You’re like that but your in a relationship and even if you weren’t we aren’t compatible and you likely don’t find me attractive.

Vs if I was well off I’d have a much larger pool of single women


Well my comment was more for everyone, and it occurs that it has to be a good majority otherwise this wouldn't be an issue that exists. Trouble is I think some of it has to do with what has been expected of women, like many have been socialized to believe they need a successful man to take care of them. Granted there are some just over-all nasty women with that mentality, but I think for some its been engrained by parents/grandparents/relatives that, that is what they are supposed to value in a man. I mean even my grandmother tried to convince me of of things like that.

If you were well off you may have a larger pool, but then you might get a gold digger...


That’s what I’ve been saying but it’s the majority of women who been socialized as you say it into thinking that. I watched Disney as a kid, I watched movies and shows and they all push the idea of women need a well off man.

Oh if she pretended to love me, cuddles and sex I’d gladly take a gold digger if I had the income. I have no problem spending large parts of my wealth on a gf and wife. Could be the society brainwashing but it’s probably just I’m a giver and like making people happy. Men complain about their spending on their wife’s and gf all the time, they also have to ask wife/gf permission to spend their money that they labored away for lol. So in the future men won’t want to or like spending money on women. If I won the lottery I’d buy a gf a car and fancy things. So I’d probably get a gold digger but even they might reject me . If I win the lottery I’m going seclude myself for protection, cause I’d get lovey with the first woman I find attractive who showed me interest. Going buy me a house, a 300,000 Porsche, truck , lots of guns, and keep to myself. Yiu can have groceries delivered to you now. Probably only go out to go on drives and delivery money to my friends. If I win enough I plan to give my friends and family 5,000 a month each so they can live easier life’s. I only have 5 friends so it’s not slot. Otherwise I won’t talk to them or leave my property. I’d alsp set up a organization to build small house communities for low income and homeless people, so they can live like humans again, suppose I’d have to have one of my friends run it.



Outrider
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15 Oct 2017, 8:45 pm

Yeah man.

You said that girl liked you back but rejected you anyway because your job wasn't good enough doe expensive vacations.

If she really cared about you she would have tried to make a relationship work.anywaay and meet you halfwaynby accepting you have a lower income and perhaps both of you learning ways to save your money better so that you could both still save up for a vacation but a less expensive one maybe at a nice coastal city instead of a big expensive trip to Paris or something.

That doesn't mean she has to be with you but it does mean she wasn't relationship material for you anyway if she decided she didnt like you the second you weren't perfect in some way (money/weekly income).



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15 Oct 2017, 8:53 pm

BTDT wrote:
I think it is pretty obvious that Sly is right in that women of his social class are really looking to move up--they need more financial security and will do things like having a kid with an older guy having a mid life crises to get child support payments. And this isn't going to get fixed by government as long as we have a guy in the White House who wants cheap labor for his businesse even it means throwing ethics under a bus. There are so many bodies under that bus that it isn't going anywhere.
So, this means he really needs to be looking higher or lower. It is easier for a guy to aim lower, as this is in line with social norms. Perhaps someone on permanent disability, with no prospects of ever having even a part time job. Maybe someone who does part time volunteer work. There are different aspects to permanent disability. There are really smart people who have either anxiety disorders or schizophrenia. And you have people with learning disorders. Yes, there are non-verbal Aspies who would like to be in a relationship. As well as various physical disabilities, such as blindness or the inability to walk. The spectrum of disability is huge.

Aiming higher would be easier if you were able to cultivate a useful talent or gift.


I’m at the bottom. There’s no women lower then me. Women and men are different levels. A unemployed lazy woman is higher level then a guy working min wage. So in order to date down I’d have to be making 18 an hour full time.even then i dont know if many women would be interested. Sucks not even being good enough for disabled women or homeless unemployed women :cry: