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Aspie women why do you defend all women?

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sly279
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26 Oct 2017, 1:14 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Because you guys constantly portray all women as shallow b*****s who care most about money and wealth. There are women like that, but women who aren't like that get pissed at constantly being told they are, and that if they deny that they are like that they are 'lying' or being deceitful in some way. Its like you guys want affection but if any womenn gives it to you, you'd probably call them a whore if they aren't quite what you find hott. Not meaning like you specifically...but that is what women deal with. You can be nice and agreeable and accused of being a slut, or you can be a total mean b***h and be accused of being a slut.

I mean guys talk about sex like it such a huge accomplishment, yet they will call the girl they had sex with a 'slut' because they were 'easy'....so its an accomplishment if guys have sex with multiple girls, but a girl is a slut if she's had sex with various men.



The slut thing is easy to answer, it's a poor comparison.

Getting sex for most girls is incredibly easy and requires nothing besides looks. Getting sex as a guy is alot more difficult, requires looks, good career, social status, well developed personality ect.

Also keep in mind it's usually women who call other women sluts. It's also women who call guys studs aswell.


But that is the problem, sure a girl can 'get sex' but what the f**k does that matter if you can't get a relationship? I got sex from plenty of guys before meeting my boyfreind and 'just sex' but no relationship was something I was never interested in yet that is what guys led me into. Until I met someone who actually cares about me as a fellow peron instead of just something to have sex with and remain friends with benefits after they ghost me for two weeks.

If yiu can get sex then yiu can eventually get a relationship. Since the same things are needed to get either. But say ones so ugly they can’t get sex then they never going get a relationship.

Sweetleaf wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Because you guys constantly portray all women as shallow b*****s who care most about money and wealth. There are women like that, but women who aren't like that get pissed at constantly being told they are, and that if they deny that they are like that they are 'lying' or being deceitful in some way. Its like you guys want affection but if any womenn gives it to you, you'd probably call them a whore if they aren't quite what you find hott. Not meaning like you specifically...but that is what women deal with. You can be nice and agreeable and accused of being a slut, or you can be a total mean b***h and be accused of being a slut.

I mean guys talk about sex like it such a huge accomplishment, yet they will call the girl they had sex with a 'slut' because they were 'easy'....so its an accomplishment if guys have sex with multiple girls, but a girl is a slut if she's had sex with various men.



The slut thing is easy to answer, it's a poor comparison.

Getting sex for most girls is incredibly easy and requires nothing besides looks. Getting sex as a guy is alot more difficult, requires looks, good career, social status, well developed personality ect.


Yeah but some of us weren't after sex. There is a huge difference from getting sex and getting a relationship. I can't speak for everyone but I always wanted a boyfriend not a glorified one night stand that went on for months. Sure I got 'sex' out of my first boyfriend in college but no actual affection or relationship stuff...just 'hey come meet me for sex, make sure you get wet first in the shower' well f**k you at that time I didn't even know what 'get your self wet in the shower meant' apparently I was supposed to masturbate myself to give him more pleasure. I mean yeah once I figured out his only concern was 'hot sex' and not a relationship I stopped talking to him. But for the longest time I stupidly thought he actually liked me.


Well, that's different then. I think for alot of guys it's actually easier getting into relationships, compared to getting one night stands. I know that's the case for me. So guys use relationships just to get sex, because one night stands are so difficult to execute.

Perhaps but why does anyone want a one night stand....I just don't get it, like you probably wont see them again...and I myself find it rather useless to have any intimate relationships with people you plan to remove from your life. Like why befriend someone you don't want around especially on a sexual level.


I don’t get it either. I need an emotional connection to enjoy sex. I get attached via sex.
However it’s the big thing most people seem to be doing in ou generation. One night stands equal liberating to women apparently. Not quite sure how giving men what they want without the relationship they don’t want is liberating but ok. Not for me for sure though. I think I maybe want sex. My body sure does. I really want a relationship and sex(maybe) atleast a relationship and foreplay.

I dont know but so,e lady tricked me into it knowing she was going ghost me after. Maybe she had a fetish to taking guys virginity’s?



AprilR
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26 Oct 2017, 1:30 pm

*didn't read the whole thread but still this is an interesting question so butting my head in there :P * I mainly defend women and/or other marginalized groups because they're marginalized! Things like sexual assault/ sexualization of women affect me too so of course im going to defend them. I also dislike how femininity is always considered shallow and bad and masculinity "good" I think this harms both women and men equally since femininity is not limited to women either. I also don't see much difference between the genders so i can't relate much to people who define themselves by that either..



sly279
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26 Oct 2017, 1:39 pm

AprilR wrote:
*didn't read the whole thread but still this is an interesting question so butting my head in there :P * I mainly defend women and/or other marginalized groups because they're marginalized! Things like sexual assault/ sexualization of women affect me too so of course im going to defend them. I also dislike how femininity is always considered shallow and bad and masculinity "good" I think this harms both women and men equally since femininity is not limited to women either. I also don't see much difference between the genders so i can't relate much to people who define themselves by that either..


So you’d defend a horrible woman solely cause she’s female.? Even though her actions make other women look bad and men distrust other women, so in fact she’s harming other women.

Least your honest about it. I don’t get it though. Men rarely defend men solely for being a man, in fact often men will attack other men on behalf of women.

I don’t see femininity being considered shallow and masculinity good.



AprilR
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26 Oct 2017, 1:57 pm

^Nope, i wouldn't defend a horrible person, man or woman. But if someone was attacking that person based on their gender, or saying that their behavior is "typical" of their gender, i'd correct them. Being shallow/rude has nothing to do with gender..



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26 Oct 2017, 2:00 pm

AprilR wrote:
*didn't read the whole thread but still this is an interesting question so butting my head in there :P * I mainly defend women and/or other marginalized groups because they're marginalized! Things like sexual assault/ sexualization of women affect me too so of course im going to defend them. I also dislike how femininity is always considered shallow and bad and masculinity "good" I think this harms both women and men equally since femininity is not limited to women either. I also don't see much difference between the genders so i can't relate much to people who define themselves by that either..


This is just so false. Femininity is much more valued by our society. Men have died in wars for centuries to defend women. When a building burns, it's "women and children out first!", same when a ship sinks. We send men away to work in coal mines, while women take care of the children. In general we don't care when men die, but when women die it's a tragedy.

If anything, the most marginalized group today, would be young white working class males, they have the highest rates of suicide of all groups.



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26 Oct 2017, 2:04 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
If anything, the most marginalized group today, would be young white working class males, they have the highest rates of suicide of all groups.


Because they're not allowed to express their 'femininity' ie discuss their feelings because girls do that and it's not manly. You just scored an own goal



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26 Oct 2017, 2:06 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
If anything, the most marginalized group today, would be young white working class males, they have the highest rates of suicide of all groups.


Because they're not allowed to express their 'femininity' ie discuss their feelings because girls do that and it's not manly. You just scored an own goal


No I didn't. It has absolutely nothing to do with that, it's quite the opposite.



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26 Oct 2017, 2:13 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
AprilR wrote:
*didn't read the whole thread but still this is an interesting question so butting my head in there :P * I mainly defend women and/or other marginalized groups because they're marginalized! Things like sexual assault/ sexualization of women affect me too so of course im going to defend them. I also dislike how femininity is always considered shallow and bad and masculinity "good" I think this harms both women and men equally since femininity is not limited to women either. I also don't see much difference between the genders so i can't relate much to people who define themselves by that either..


This is just so false. Femininity is much more valued by our society. Men have died in wars for centuries to defend women. When a building burns, it's "women and children out first!", same when a ship sinks. We send men away to work in coal mines, while women take care of the children. In general we don't care when men die, but when women die it's a tragedy.

If anything, the most marginalized group today, would be young white working class males, they have the highest rates of suicide of all groups.


Except when disasters strike, and humans with penises have significantly higher rates of survival than humans with vaginas.


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26 Oct 2017, 2:16 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
If anything, the most marginalized group today, would be young white working class males, they have the highest rates of suicide of all groups.


Because they're not allowed to express their 'femininity' ie discuss their feelings because girls do that and it's not manly. You just scored an own goal


No I didn't. It has absolutely nothing to do with that, it's quite the opposite.


Interesting. I've seen it written about a lot. Men feeling unable to talk to friends about how they're feeling. It's given as one of the big reasons for male suicide.

This guy for example:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/active/mens-health/11533147/Men-need-to-open-up-about-depression-not-man-up-and-keep-quiet.html



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26 Oct 2017, 2:23 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
People really only hook up with other people who don't have their lives together in their teens and early 20s. Hardly anyone in that group will have gotten their lives together, so that limits their options.

People who consciously intend to get their lives together will usually seek out partners with that same plan. Other people just keep doing the next reasonable thing and hook up with a random slacker or two. They learn.

Sly, not just most women, but most men want to find a partner who independently has their life pretty well together. Most people don't want to adopt an adult child. Yes, part of a relationship involves putting up with your partner's foibles, but after a few tries most people decide that they should find someone who annoys them as little as possible.

Statistically, most arguments within couples involve either the kids or the budget. Why set yourself up with someone who can't finance their own life and guarantee that those arguments start immediately? I'm sure some people exist who will do so, and a few of those even have good motives.

There's always love at first sight, crazy love that ignores good sense.


This is all true. And I accept what men here are saying because of this.



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26 Oct 2017, 2:32 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
If anything, the most marginalized group today, would be young white working class males, they have the highest rates of suicide of all groups.


Because they're not allowed to express their 'femininity' ie discuss their feelings because girls do that and it's not manly. You just scored an own goal


No I didn't. It has absolutely nothing to do with that, it's quite the opposite.


Interesting. I've seen it written about a lot. Men feeling unable to talk to friends about how they're feeling. It's given as one of the big reasons for male suicide.

This guy for example:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/active/mens-health/11533147/Men-need-to-open-up-about-depression-not-man-up-and-keep-quiet.html


I've seen it written too, but when feminists(not pointing at this article) touch this topic, it's obvious that they don't understand the issue or men in general at all.

The solution is not that men should be more feminine. That's what's been going on for the past 50 years, and it doesn't work, it actually does the oppostie.

In my humble opinion the root cause of male suicide, is that the majority of my generation have grown up without their fathers, and we lack strong bonds with other males. We don't need to open up to women, they don't understand us anyway, we need to talk to other men. But we can't anymore, because there are no "male spaces" left in our society, and that's what ruins the bond between men. We try to make everything 50/50 male/female, and we make it PC and unthreatening so that the females can tolerate being there. But that hurts men.

We even demonize typical male emotion, like anger. Men often express themselves through anger, and we tell them that it's wrong. But that's just BS. Being sad is not in any way morally superior to being angry. Both are outlets, both are ways of coping.



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26 Oct 2017, 2:38 pm

^ this.


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26 Oct 2017, 2:46 pm

This is a great post.

Closet Genious wrote:
In my humble opinion the root cause of male suicide, is that the majority of my generation have grown up without their fathers, and we lack strong bonds with other males. We don't need to open up to women, they don't understand us anyway, we need to talk to other men. But we can't anymore, because there are no "male spaces" left in our society, and that's what ruins the bond between men. We try to make everything 50/50 male/female, and we make it PC and unthreatening so that the females can tolerate being there. But that hurts men.

We even demonize typical male emotion, like anger. Men often express themselves through anger, and we tell them that it's wrong. But that's just BS. Being sad is not in any way morally superior to being angry. Both are outlets, both are ways of coping.


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26 Oct 2017, 2:49 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
We even demonize typical male emotion, like anger. Men often express themselves through anger, and we tell them that it's wrong. But that's just BS. Being sad is not in any way morally superior to being angry. Both are outlets, both are ways of coping.


Hell yeah.



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26 Oct 2017, 2:53 pm

My problem is that I talk like Barrack Obama and Donald Trump with people. Each time something goes out of my mouth there are two possible meanings to it instead of one. I feel women focus less on what is directed and more on what is implied while men focus on what is more directed and less implied. Aspergers focuses more on honesty, so aspie men speak literally and have no idea what the figurtive implication is to some people. Aspies try hard to tell what they are literally thinking to people in as clear a way as possible, but what they don't realize is that they can sound snide and condscending unintentionally when they do. Whoever made rambling, ranting, and raving look bad is why aspies have trouble in real world, because we have a hard time expressing ourselves in as few words as we can like NTs can.



Last edited by ZachGoodwin on 26 Oct 2017, 2:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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26 Oct 2017, 2:57 pm

Raleigh wrote:
This is a great post.

Closet Genious wrote:
In my humble opinion the root cause of male suicide, is that the majority of my generation have grown up without their fathers, and we lack strong bonds with other males. We don't need to open up to women, they don't understand us anyway, we need to talk to other men. But we can't anymore, because there are no "male spaces" left in our society, and that's what ruins the bond between men. We try to make everything 50/50 male/female, and we make it PC and unthreatening so that the females can tolerate being there. But that hurts men.

We even demonize typical male emotion, like anger. Men often express themselves through anger, and we tell them that it's wrong. But that's just BS. Being sad is not in any way morally superior to being angry. Both are outlets, both are ways of coping.


One of the reasons often cited for the fact that women generally get over break-ups faster than men is that women can rely on their network of female friends for supports. Men don't have that same advantage with other men.

I have to imagine this is true of other areas of life as well. IMHO, this also leads to men relying on women for emotional comfort, which puts a strain on women who can't always be endless fonts of nurturing.


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