Page 5 of 5 [ 77 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5

NorthWind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 577

06 Dec 2017, 3:44 am

sly279 wrote:
North wind who decides if it’s always or too much? I see lots of women constantly complaining on Facebook yet they have boyfriend. My sister comes home multiple times a week expressing her upset feelings from church. Why is ok for women to always express emotions but not men? Why is there a double standard?
I’m emotional I was sadly raise by women who raised me to be emotional, I’m woman’s ideal man or atleast what they think is idea, but yet it’s a huge turn off to women. I feel sorry for other single mom boys they have no idea how their lif is going be screwd u by being raised to be emotional and feminine. Women like manly men not emotional expressive men or pansies as they call us. I’ve had women as friends who said I lacked confidence because. Expressed my anxiety and feeling with them, as soon as I stopp d then they were like wow you’re so confident where’d this come from. All I did is cut them off from my emotions and feelings. So guess if. Ever get a gf I’ll just have to had female friends who’ll I’ll be emotionally closer to then my gf. So in reality guess gf is just for sex and cuddles? Which is sad, I’d like to have a gf I could be completely open and myself with :cry:


It's too much if you take the joy out of everything for everyone around you and everyone has to walk on eggshells not to upset you.
I'm also not talking about Facebook but about real life. If it's on Facebook everyone who doesn't want to does not need to read it.
There is a double standard, but I never claimed that being around constantly depressed women who constantly express their depressed feelings is any more healthy than being around constantly depressed men who constantly express their depressed feelings.
I'd avoid close relationships with people who always need to drag everyone down with themselves because I already have one such person (a woman) in my family and one such person is more than enough. People who are sad or depressed are not necessarily bad to be around, but if they demand you listen to their problems, they do not want any solutions for, for five hours in one go and start banging their head into a wall if you leave the room ( to go to the toilet) then yeah I don't need another such person in my life. If I was bi I'd avoid such women for relationships also, but I happen to be straight. Therefore it only affects what men I'd be in a relationship with as I wouldn't be in a relationship with women.

Late reply, but I don't have a smart-phone and am not home much during some days of the week. I also haven't read the rest of the thread yet.



GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

06 Dec 2017, 7:41 am

sly279 wrote:
Both of them are emotional abusive and maybe physically abuse I’ve as****les.
Why do they get women left and right?

I have never seen a sociopath or psychopath who didn't have women lining up for them. Even the bullies at school who are both very short have no trouble with women.

All I can say is that I wouldn't want women like that in my life anyway. I have a calm, peaceful home and I am glad I waited for the right person to make it happen with.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,105
Location: Adelaide, Australia

06 Dec 2017, 7:43 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I have never seen a sociopath or psychopath who didn't have women lining up for them. Even the bullies at school who are both very short have no trouble with women.

But why?


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

06 Dec 2017, 10:02 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I have never seen a sociopath or psychopath who didn't have women lining up for them. Even the bullies at school who are both very short have no trouble with women.

But why?
Because those men know how make women feels sexually aroused with their mere presence or at least simple interactions. Not because they're good providers. Now, a lot of it has to do with looks and height. But not 100%.



GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

06 Dec 2017, 10:21 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
But why?

There are a lot of very messed up women, especially on dating sites. I suspect much of it has to do with the large number raised without a father (or father figure) at home. For example, years ago a friend of someone I dated always seemed to be single despite the fact she is very physically attractive. Seeing that we had a lot in common I tried to befriend her and it went nowhere. Even though she seemed almost scared of me she continued to date an endless string of obvious loser guys over and over again. What a surprise, she grew up with an abusive a-hole father who was in the military and always moved. What more ironic is that she very briefly started showing interest in me, only while I was on a trip across the country!

I took a lot of introspection to realize that my self-talk of never falling for someone like my mother was just that, talk. My first GF was very much like my mother just taken to the extreme: that is why I stayed with her rather than rightfully running for safety after date #3. I was subconsciously drawn to abuse because I faced abuse as a child: I just didn't realize it because I was never beaten, at least by my parents. This is another reason why so many Aspies end up in the exact same situation. I'm even realizing that my wife and I came from very similar backgrounds and that's what drew us together.

In other words, these women probably grew up being pushed around and learned to subconsciously accept and even like being treated in an abusive manner. There are exceptions but as a general rule, the person someone dates is a reflection of how they were raised. I doubt height and looks have much to do with it as I have pretty good looks and very few men are taller than me yet I could not get attention to save my life.



NorthWind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 577

06 Dec 2017, 1:25 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I have never seen a sociopath or psychopath who didn't have women lining up for them. Even the bullies at school who are both very short have no trouble with women.

But why?
Because those men know how make women feels sexually aroused with their mere presence or at least simple interactions. Not because they're good providers. Now, a lot of it has to do with looks and height. But not 100%.

Those women to whom the things GiantHockeyFan said apply. Women from non-messed up backgrounds who are also reasonably smart and not high-drama people don't seem to have a tendency to prefer abusers.

Doesn't mean that most of them don't prefer confident men. They probably do.

This is the reason why many awful men easily get women:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
There are a lot of very messed up women, especially on dating sites.



fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

06 Dec 2017, 1:27 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
But why?

There are a lot of very messed up women, especially on dating sites. I suspect much of it has to do with the large number raised without a father (or father figure) at home. For example, years ago a friend of someone I dated always seemed to be single despite the fact she is very physically attractive. Seeing that we had a lot in common I tried to befriend her and it went nowhere. Even though she seemed almost scared of me she continued to date an endless string of obvious loser guys over and over again. What a surprise, she grew up with an abusive a-hole father who was in the military and always moved. What more ironic is that she very briefly started showing interest in me, only while I was on a trip across the country!

I took a lot of introspection to realize that my self-talk of never falling for someone like my mother was just that, talk. My first GF was very much like my mother just taken to the extreme: that is why I stayed with her rather than rightfully running for safety after date #3. I was subconsciously drawn to abuse because I faced abuse as a child: I just didn't realize it because I was never beaten, at least by my parents. This is another reason why so many Aspies end up in the exact same situation. I'm even realizing that my wife and I came from very similar backgrounds and that's what drew us together.

In other words, these women probably grew up being pushed around and learned to subconsciously accept and even like being treated in an abusive manner. There are exceptions but as a general rule, the person someone dates is a reflection of how they were raised. I doubt height and looks have much to do with it as I have pretty good looks and very few men are taller than me yet I could not get attention to save my life.


There's a Ted-ex vid on youtube about how men and women choose the familiar, no matter how bad, over what's better but unfamiliar. People apparently find reliving the negative feelings they had as children comforting.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

06 Dec 2017, 4:12 pm

NorthWind wrote:
sly279 wrote:
North wind who decides if it’s always or too much? I see lots of women constantly complaining on Facebook yet they have boyfriend. My sister comes home multiple times a week expressing her upset feelings from church. Why is ok for women to always express emotions but not men? Why is there a double standard?
I’m emotional I was sadly raise by women who raised me to be emotional, I’m woman’s ideal man or atleast what they think is idea, but yet it’s a huge turn off to women. I feel sorry for other single mom boys they have no idea how their lif is going be screwd u by being raised to be emotional and feminine. Women like manly men not emotional expressive men or pansies as they call us. I’ve had women as friends who said I lacked confidence because. Expressed my anxiety and feeling with them, as soon as I stopp d then they were like wow you’re so confident where’d this come from. All I did is cut them off from my emotions and feelings. So guess if. Ever get a gf I’ll just have to had female friends who’ll I’ll be emotionally closer to then my gf. So in reality guess gf is just for sex and cuddles? Which is sad, I’d like to have a gf I could be completely open and myself with :cry:


It's too much if you take the joy out of everything for everyone around you and everyone has to walk on eggshells not to upset you.
I'm also not talking about Facebook but about real life. If it's on Facebook everyone who doesn't want to does not need to read it.
There is a double standard, but I never claimed that being around constantly depressed women who constantly express their depressed feelings is any more healthy than being around constantly depressed men who constantly express their depressed feelings.
I'd avoid close relationships with people who always need to drag everyone down with themselves because I already have one such person (a woman) in my family and one such person is more than enough. People who are sad or depressed are not necessarily bad to be around, but if they demand you listen to their problems, they do not want any solutions for, for five hours in one go and start banging their head into a wall if you leave the room ( to go to the toilet) then yeah I don't need another such person in my life. If I was bi I'd avoid such women for relationships also, but I happen to be straight. Therefore it only affects what men I'd be in a relationship with as I wouldn't be in a relationship with women.

Late reply, but I don't have a smart-phone and am not home much during some days of the week. I also haven't read the rest of the thread yet.


I’m not like that. I would t talk about my problems for 5 hours straight s day. Is it so wrong to come home from a bad day and want to talk about it with the one who supposedly loves you?

I wouldn’t be depressed if I had a gf, which would just leave bad days at work or family fights. So many women want to be 100% drama free, do they lock themselves in a tiny room cut off from the world? Cause that’s the only way to be drama free, any interaction with other people will eventually bring drama and conflict. It’s humanity.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,105
Location: Adelaide, Australia

06 Dec 2017, 11:41 pm

sly279 wrote:
I wouldn’t be depressed if I had a gf

That's a lot of pressure to put on a girl


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,105
Location: Adelaide, Australia

07 Dec 2017, 12:53 am

Speaking of pressure, I feel like the expectation for us to be happy is put on us not only by the people we're dating but by society in general. Our culture expects us to be happy. Even if we're crying inside, even if our world is crumbling, our culture expects us to be happy. That's a lot of pressure on us!


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

07 Dec 2017, 4:21 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Speaking of pressure, I feel like the expectation for us to be happy is put on us not only by the people we're dating but by society in general. Our culture expects us to be happy. Even if we're crying inside, even if our world is crumbling, our culture expects us to be happy. That's a lot of pressure on us!


Either happy or dealing with the unhappiness/problem. When I'm unhappy I get a lot of well meaning advice that doesn't help because I'm down, it just makes me feel like other people think I'm upset over nothing. It's as if people think I expect them to solve my problems for me, I don't, I just want them to listen for a bit, then I'll feel better, then I'll sort out my own problems, possibly even follow some advice, or at least I'll listen to it with the right mind frame.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

07 Dec 2017, 5:45 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I wouldn’t be depressed if I had a gf

That's a lot of pressure to put on a girl

How? She literally doesn’t have to do anything more the. If in any other relationship. She has literally no more pressure. So likewise women put a lot of pressure on theIt bfs. So why is anyone in a relationship?

Is it really so bad for guys to want love like women? Love = happiness for just about every single human it’s why people do it, if love made people unhappy they wouldn’t get into relationships.

So tir d of that horrible line meant to make men feel like crap for wanting love like anyone else. Love isn’t just for women.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,105
Location: Adelaide, Australia

07 Dec 2017, 7:18 am

^ Love is no small thing Sly. To love someone takes effort. You have have to give a part of yourself.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short