Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

"You need to work on yourself!"

Page 5 of 31 [ 495 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ... 31  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

26 Oct 2018, 9:35 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Why’s that sexist when I say it but not when you say it 0.o



It's just semantics Sly , I think most people realise if you say 'women/men are nuts' you don't mean every woman/man , it is just based on your experience but it will and can be used against you if you word it that way ( as some people are sexist ). Far better to say in my experience 'women/men are nuts' then this is your truth and no-one can say s**t about your experiences.

These are the key words Xfg used in her statement imo

Decent job/car/does not live with parents seems to be the minimum standard for most women (at least the ones I've met).

Unless of course you worded it the same but I doubt Xfg would say it if it wasn't true


I did and even if I say some women or women I’ve no woman or women I my area they say I’m sexist and attacking women
Heck I bet if I say just one woman is that way they’d say I’m sexist
They jump in to defend women they don’t knlw when men here talk about a single woman they had experience with. Doesn’t matter how you phrase it if what you say can be seen as negative about any woman it’s sexist.
Like walking in a freaking mine field

I turkey wish it wasn’t tru and that most women would love to date loser men like me.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

26 Oct 2018, 9:37 pm

magz wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Decent job/car/does not live with parents seems to be the minimum standard for most women (at least the ones I've met).

I'm just curious: does the car need to be decent too?

I don't see such requirements where I live. For one night stand, nobody cares and for a long-term relationship both genders just prefer someone about their own class (in more than economic meaning).
Yes, within the same class it is considered more convinient for the man to earn more. I know several guys who gave up their careers in science after getting married, to earn more elsewhere. I don't like it but that's how it is. I know I could earn more if I changed my career but I don't want to - and nobody pressures me to do it. But some my collegues are pressured either by their girlfriends or by their inner beliefs and it sucks.


Here for one night stands it’s even more important and they ad you have to be fit and have a long thick penis.

I’ve even seen women just looking for friends require the guy make more then them have a car and his own place. I doubt they require such from female friends. Why do they require that from male friends? Any idea? I dont know



Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

26 Oct 2018, 10:09 pm

everyone wants a sugar daddy.

people who say they don't are lying through their teeth.


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

26 Oct 2018, 10:37 pm

sly279 wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Why’s that sexist when I say it but not when you say it 0.o



It's just semantics Sly , I think most people realise if you say 'women/men are nuts' you don't mean every woman/man , it is just based on your experience but it will and can be used against you if you word it that way ( as some people are sexist ). Far better to say in my experience 'women/men are nuts' then this is your truth and no-one can say s**t about your experiences.

These are the key words Xfg used in her statement imo

Decent job/car/does not live with parents seems to be the minimum standard for most women (at least the ones I've met).

Unless of course you worded it the same but I doubt Xfg would say it if it wasn't true


I did and even if I say some women or women I’ve no woman or women I my area they say I’m sexist and attacking women
Heck I bet if I say just one woman is that way they’d say I’m sexist
They jump in to defend women they don’t knlw when men here talk about a single woman they had experience with. Doesn’t matter how you phrase it if what you say can be seen as negative about any woman it’s sexist.
Like walking in a freaking mine field

I turkey wish it wasn’t tru and that most women would love to date loser men like me.


I vaguely remember a little spat about you using the term 'some woman' but don't remember the details apart from it upsetting you. Sly you know you are not a sexist and that should be good enough.


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Oct 2018, 12:50 am

^There’s an undeniable biased attitude toward men talking about their experiences with women - while the same is not applied on women talking about women.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Oct 2018, 12:58 am

Marknis wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
Marknis wrote:
There's a poster on another forum who I feel like is a future me. He's still single and struggling in life at 58. He believes he's going to continue wondering why women aren't attracted to him until he's being dumped into his grave as he puts it.

He ISN'T you.


I will say that unlike him I actually had a short-lived relationship and actually had sex while he said women never see him as more than just a friend and he's still a virgin.


How did this short-lived one start? Maybe you need to do again what worked (at least partially) before.


She actually told me she was interested first instead of me saying it first. We were both in the same support group and it wouldn't have happened otherwise. Life hasn't replicated this situation since then, though. I also don't enjoy going to the support group anymore. I am higher functioning than the majority of the people in it and I used to dumb myself down in order to interact with them but I grew to hate that.


Was she much lower functioning than you?

I would avoid that, it would lead to troubles with parents.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

27 Oct 2018, 3:06 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
Marknis wrote:
There's a poster on another forum who I feel like is a future me. He's still single and struggling in life at 58. He believes he's going to continue wondering why women aren't attracted to him until he's being dumped into his grave as he puts it.

He ISN'T you.


I will say that unlike him I actually had a short-lived relationship and actually had sex while he said women never see him as more than just a friend and he's still a virgin.


How did this short-lived one start? Maybe you need to do again what worked (at least partially) before.


She actually told me she was interested first instead of me saying it first. We were both in the same support group and it wouldn't have happened otherwise. Life hasn't replicated this situation since then, though. I also don't enjoy going to the support group anymore. I am higher functioning than the majority of the people in it and I used to dumb myself down in order to interact with them but I grew to hate that.


Was she much lower functioning than you?

I would avoid that, it would lead to troubles with parents.


No, she was quite high functioning.
I can hardly interact with those who are low functioning because it goes against my nature to dumb myself down.



ShyGirl7
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 209
Location: Florida

27 Oct 2018, 3:33 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
everyone wants a sugar daddy.

people who say they don't are lying through their teeth.


To be fair, not all girls want a sugar daddy. :D

Most women feel like they need a man who can take care of them, if need be - but they don't want to mooch off of them.



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

27 Oct 2018, 4:46 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
everyone wants a sugar daddy.

people who say they don't are lying through their teeth.

Define "sugar daddy" and then I can form my opinion on the statement above.

I've never been interested in older, high-status men. I've always preferred guys about my age and my status. But definitely employable ones. Having children and constantly unemployed spouse would be too much of a struggle, especially with depression and frustration that, as I observe, often come to unemployed men.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

27 Oct 2018, 12:28 pm

When I tried speed dating and said I was only working part time, I got looks from the women like I just told them I killed someone and I was also mocked by a female co-worker for my status. It's like you either have to be unemployed (I see a lot of homeless men with girlfriends) or work full time. There is no middle ground.



SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

27 Oct 2018, 12:35 pm

Marknis wrote:
When I tried speed dating and said I was only working part time, I got looks from the women like I just told them I killed someone and I was also mocked by a female co-worker for my status. It's like you either have to be unemployed (I see a lot of homeless men with girlfriends) or work full time. There is no middle ground.


Maybe it's the way you word things. Try omitting the word 'only' next time , you're making it sound like a negative when it's not. Are you good at interpreting facial expressions or are you like me and wonder why someone looks at you like you just kicked their dog when you have done nothing wrong.


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Oct 2018, 1:25 pm

Marknis wrote:
When I tried speed dating and said I was only working part time, I got looks from the women like I just told them I killed someone and I was also mocked by a female co-worker for my status. It's like you either have to be unemployed (I see a lot of homeless men with girlfriends) or work full time. There is no middle ground.


Very true, my theory is that poor class people have their own community/network; and they often go for semi-arranged marriage - which is frankly very effective.

Take for example the taxi drivers; frankly they are often fat, smelly, and talk nonesense yet I see a rings on most of them - and they often talk about their kids.

I always wondered what women would marry such men, from their talks I figured how these men get married; and how they make their adult children get married: a strong community who does traditional matchmaking.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

27 Oct 2018, 1:56 pm

I think this exists in the general population too. It's the online dating scene that has extreme partner demands. When people meet IRL they have much lower demands even if they also date online with high demands. The same applies to an even greater extent when people like each IRL.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

27 Oct 2018, 8:58 pm

My life feels so slow and painful while others seem to move faster than me and they are feeling great. :(



fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

28 Oct 2018, 1:54 am

You don't know they are feeling great, some of them will be and some of them are a mess on the inside. You can't

tell by the way they seem on the outside.

My mum will tell you that I've always been a happy person :?


_________________
climate change petition, please sign

Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.


magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

28 Oct 2018, 2:39 am

Marknis wrote:
When I tried speed dating and said I was only working part time, I got looks from the women like I just told them I killed someone and I was also mocked by a female co-worker for my status. It's like you either have to be unemployed (I see a lot of homeless men with girlfriends) or work full time. There is no middle ground.

I remember when I was 13, I noticed that the girls in the class considered attractive were not the ones with the prettiest faces. It puzzled me and I did further analysis which lead to a conclusions that the ones considered attractive were simply the ones who believed to be attractive themselves.
I did an experiment, persuading myself I was attractive. It made a difference - looking in a mirror I started to notice which hairstyle suit me and what colors go with me instead of thinking of myself as plain and boring all the time. In a few months, the first boy showed really a lot of interest in me, starting an innocent, 8-month long first "relationship" I had.

I'm sure it works for the males as well. Even a homeless, unemployed, unintelligent and obese man can believe in his attractiveness and, yes, people feel the vibes of it.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>