Aspie virgins

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I really do think it's my demeanour.

A friend of a friend once said I was "powerful and a bit scary." He was a wimp anyway so whatever... I'm being facetious

I think my self sufficiency puts men off. I own my own apartment, I have a good job. I have a private school accent rather than a regional accent which I think puts people off in general. I can't do slang. Oh wait, I've been told off for calling regional accents slang... see the problem. I sound too snobby.

Another friend of a friend said, "what does she need me for. She's got everything."

You can't win.

Also I suffered from severe depression for a while and wasn't very upbeat or personable. That's why I keep advocating for looking after one's mental health first. Sad sacks aren't attractive.

Also thank you for the compliment

I don’t even bother messaging women who have all that. Men may but not think you’d date them for same reason

I'm very asexual to the point where I am "sexually apathetic" and literally have 0 to no desires. That in combination with a ultra conservative christian background where sexuality is shamed significantly outside of marriage is probably the reason why. I can only speak for myself though I didn't even have proper sex ed in school and mostly forgot everything since non of it was really applicable to me and couldn't ask or talk to my parents about anything without them viciously shaming and chastising me so I just accept what is and move on.

Honestly I wonder if asexuality is really a normal sexuality or a consequence of some health problem that those having it don’t ever care to check it.

I was sort of turned off to the actual presence of ladies’ sexual parts until I was 17.

I find that is a fairly common manifestation of asexuality on WP.

That they have a sexual drive—but are turn off to the sexual act itself.

I think it's best to be a virgin until you meet someone with whom you have mutual respect and both really want to do it. It probably therefore has to do with developmental stage, we develop slower at a social rate.
I'm answering even though you addressed men because if I had my way I'd still be a virgin. I'm ready to lose it now but I wasn't when I lost it or any of the times later that I had sex. And also I look young for my age (underaged) and men liked that, maybe gay men or cougars would be the same.
I had a few times in my teens and early twenties when I did sexual stuff for want of pleasing someone. I know this is stereotypically a female thing but I fear for aspie men that they might fall into the same boat, especially if in the moment they want it (as I did) but don't consider the consequences which can include the psychology of being that close to someone who'd want an autistic teenager. There is a time in everyone's life when they're socially less mature than they are physically and this is especially true of autistic people. And at that time there's a lot of being pressured into things. I know it sucks to be told that as someone who's intellectually advanced of their years, as well, which I why I never heeded warnings.
Note that I'm not saying you need to marry or to be a certain age or even to be in love. It just needs more than lust. It needs mutual respect, and a mutually respecting person won't have sex with you until you're ready on more than just a physical level and won't try to talk you into anything. Even NTs aren't mentally adults until their mid twenties, this was something they tried to cover on Coronation Street in the Bethany Platt story where she was above age but groomed. (so I'd say, stick with someone your age, ideally another aspie or an NT a few years younger)
What I'm saying is lads (and lasses) if you're incel at 21, don't worry. It doesn't mean you'll be a 40 year old virgin and even if you are, unless you build your identity around sex (while never developing a rich fantasy life) which would be a dumb thing for an aspie to do when we have specialist interests and the ability to think deeper than most, you'll be fine anyway.

I never grew up I remained a lost soul trapped inside a man's body. Never growing up due to my Autism and never adjusting to a rapid changing world. I do not initiate any conversations, even talking to family is a real struggle. In real world interactions, I do not have a computer to hide behind and type away. Change is something I hate, I like a fixed routine and do the same things all the time. I rarely talk to anyone in the real world because I can not relate to anyone. I make statements/comments online, I find it very hard to engage in conversations because I do not understand other people's point of view because I can not relate to them.

I'm thinking maybe you're having good insights into yourself, Aspie19828.

I'm thinking that you might be better than you think you are.

No one will know if you do not tell them. It is better to make stuff up instead of the truth. People like to believe in fantasy tales and hear positive spin on things. Negativity drives people away.