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One gender only nights out

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hurtloam
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13 Apr 2019, 12:30 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
The age difference is insignificant when one is late 20’s, and the other mid 30’s.


I'll be 38 this year:(

Please, stop selling yourself short.


Ok, I know it may seem like I'm not taking on board what you're all saying, but it's difficult to believe in oneself when every potential relationship has collapsed into nothing. In my life up to now I have never been the one who gets the guy. It's difficult to see that changing.



blackicmenace
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13 Apr 2019, 1:28 pm

hurtloam wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
The age difference is insignificant when one is late 20’s, and the other mid 30’s.


I'll be 38 this year:(

Please, stop selling yourself short.


Ok, I know it may seem like I'm not taking on board what you're all saying, but it's difficult to believe in oneself when every potential relationship has collapsed into nothing. In my life up to now I have never been the one who gets the guy. It's difficult to see that changing.

I understand, and you're going to need change that outlook. Let the past be the past and let optimism have its turn. I understand why you don't want to get your hopes up to have them dashed. For whatever reason things have not worked out in your favor, but that doesn't mean it can't happen to you. Why not you? Why not now? If you tell yourself it can't or won't happen, you may just accept that.


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hurtloam
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13 Apr 2019, 1:54 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
The age difference is insignificant when one is late 20’s, and the other mid 30’s.


I'll be 38 this year:(

Please, stop selling yourself short.


Ok, I know it may seem like I'm not taking on board what you're all saying, but it's difficult to believe in oneself when every potential relationship has collapsed into nothing. In my life up to now I have never been the one who gets the guy. It's difficult to see that changing.

I understand, and you're going to need change that outlook. Let the past be the past and let optimism have its turn. I understand why you don't want to get your hopes up to have them dashed. For whatever reason things have not worked out in your favor, but that doesn't mean it can't happen to you. Why not you? Why not now? If you tell yourself it can't or won't happen, you may just accept that.


Good point.



blackicmenace
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13 Apr 2019, 1:56 pm

hurtloam wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
The age difference is insignificant when one is late 20’s, and the other mid 30’s.


I'll be 38 this year:(

Please, stop selling yourself short.


Ok, I know it may seem like I'm not taking on board what you're all saying, but it's difficult to believe in oneself when every potential relationship has collapsed into nothing. In my life up to now I have never been the one who gets the guy. It's difficult to see that changing.

So I am picking you up hurtloam, setting you on your feet, looking you in your eyes and telling you there is absolutely no reason it can't happen to you! So if your friends have suggested that he is into you, perhaps it is time to accept that he very well could be into you, give it a chance. It's time to toss self doubt out of the window.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Apr 2019, 2:45 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
The age difference is insignificant when one is late 20’s, and the other mid 30’s.


I'll be 38 this year:(

Please, stop selling yourself short.


Ok, I know it may seem like I'm not taking on board what you're all saying, but it's difficult to believe in oneself when every potential relationship has collapsed into nothing. In my life up to now I have never been the one who gets the guy. It's difficult to see that changing.

So I am picking you up hurtloam, setting you on your feet, looking you in your eyes and telling you there is absolutely no reason it can't happen to you! So if your friends have suggested that he is into you, perhaps it is time to accept that he very well could be into you, give it a chance. It's time to toss self doubt out of the window.


You gotta rise hurtloam, you gotta rise!



BenderRodriguez
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13 Apr 2019, 2:53 pm

Don't let the age difference scare you: my best friend is married to a man 11 years her junior and she's not at all the maternal type. They are one of the best couples I've met. It works great for some people, especially out of the ordinary types.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Apr 2019, 2:55 pm

In 3 years I'll become 4 decades.


O f**k.



blackicmenace
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13 Apr 2019, 3:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
In 3 years I'll become 4 decades.


O f**k.


So, has love come knocking on the door again?


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hurtloam
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13 Apr 2019, 3:24 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You gotta rise hurtloam, you gotta rise!



Love this



Chummy
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13 Apr 2019, 6:51 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Here's a thing I've noticed and I wonder how many others do to. Also is this a women's issue or does this happen with men too.

Any nights out I'm invited to (once every month or two maybe) it's always just a group of women. No men.

Of my friends, I'm the only one who organises mixed groups. i.e. I booked a table for 10 at a restaurant. I invited both couples and single people, male and female.

I'm freaking sick of women. I like some male company. It adds a different dimension. I like that.

My friend is organising a theatre night out. I thought of a male friend who would want to come, but she's only inviting women and he would end up with a bunch of women (lucky him ;). Or he'd feel uncomfortable and feel like he was intruding. Obviously I'm interested in this guy and want to include him in things he would enjoy.

Actually, I've thought of 3 more guys I can ask. But even so. I'm still the weird one who brings men along to things we do.

Also, they are younger men as those are the only single men i meet these days. My female friends are all too old for them anyhoo. My 23 year old male friend is not going to fancy my fat 40 year old female friend.

This is not conducive for meeting single men.

This is my life right now.

At least I have a social life, right? Do I want too much?


You ONLY manage to get night outs with lots of women? I need to HAVE your problem, would gladly take that obstacle from you :lol:


JK, from my experience some women don't like male friends, as males can be either colleagues or serious boyfriends and not much "friends", some girls don't have a problem to have guys who are just "friends" and have a boyfriend all the while.. maybe you need to need to organize more, and don't count on your friend to invite only her girlfriends.. so invite whoever you want.. maybe some guys from work/college/social circle etc.



TUF
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14 Apr 2019, 12:57 pm

Actually women like you who only want to have mixed gender for the pulling possibilities are exactly why this sort of thing happens.

I end up lying and saying I'm a lesbian because otherwise they get funny and think I want them. No I don't, any more than having a gay friend means he wants to bang you. I'm bisexual. Mostly I do like women though and the guys I like are different to the guys I befriend. (I like younger men, I'm mates with men my age or older)

Anyway good luck with him. And your age gap is nothing. There's a 26 year gap between my parents and that's socially acceptable because of sexism. Girl power, let the woman be the older one for a change.



hurtloam
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14 Apr 2019, 6:03 pm

No I'm not doing it only for the pulling possibilities. I invite couples to my nights out too. I just like having men to talk to sometimes. The type of conversation is different.

My reason for this thread was that I wanted to invite a male friend to something, but had a feeling it would end up being all women and him. Which is a bit awkward. That's happened before. I've organised nights out and my other male friends bailed and he ended up not coming along because he didn't want to be the only dude.

I want to invite him to things he would enjoy, and I want to make him feel included, not just a tag-along guy. I thought a mixed group would make him feel more comfortable.

Thanks for the moral support. I need to convince him that I don't see the age difference as an issue. I don't know if he thinks he's too young for me and I wouldn't be interested.



hurtloam
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14 Apr 2019, 6:16 pm

Bea's comment helped me see that I may be inviting him to the wrong things.

If I organise something and invite a mix of people, that's a lot better than foisting any of my male friends onto my female friends who just want a girly night out. And maybe those women are not the ones to invite to my mixed group things.

I didn't think of it that way. Maybe everyone is jusg happy the way things are. I just need to branch out a bit. Invite people I'm maybe not so close to, see how we get along as a group.