Complimenting a lady, where do I go from there?

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Again, there's a lack of information to go on, or I'd help you.

For the first thing, what exactly did you both say?

Her name is Jessie.

Jessie: Hi, how are you.
Me:i’m alright, by the way I don’t think I have introduced myself. (Told her my name).
Jessie (told me her name and extended her hand). Nice to meet you.
Me:likewise.

Then she walked away.


The first time I complimented her I told her she looked nice. She smiled and thanked me.

Second time was about a month later told her she looked radiant. She smiled, bowed to me and thanked me.

Just try to talk to her about finding a book or something.

Don’t go further than that until you’ve had a decent conversation.

It’s very rare, contrary to what is supposed, for someone to claim “sexual harassment” just for talking to someone. Now, if you grab her by the butt, that’s a different story.

I would never do that to a woman unless it was in private and her and I were seriously dating. I was raised to respect women and not objectify them.

I know you wouldn't.

My point----is that most women don't mind you talking to them---as long as it's part of a conversation and not a blatant attempt at a "pickup."

I thought a complement was harmless.

I just said that. A compliment is harmless.

You could casually ask for her help in finding a book, then say how you enjoy reading that genre. Mention other books and maybe other genres you like. If she doesn't pick up on the books or genres you like and says she likes one of them too (and continue the conversation from there), then ask her what books or genres she enjoys. I wouldn't say "or" though like I said, otherwise it might sound uneasy. Just go with the topic you think best fits.

Thanks for the details btw, it helps a lot.

Smudge,
Thanks. You’re like Jester or Viper to my Maverick like in Top Gun. Hope you don’t mind me referencing the movie.

Don’t come across as a “Maverick”-type guy lol

I’m a nerd, and I know I’m a nerd. If I tried the macho stuff, I’d fall flat on my face.

What sort of books do you like?

Look Top Gun is my all time favorite movie. I like reading biographies, autobiographies and American History. American Wars mostly. I’ll read about fighter pilots too.

I like “Top Gun,” too.

But most women wouldn’t respond to a Maverick-type approach—especially in a library.

Fighter pilots are cool. But they don’t usually do the macho stuff with women. They try to seem more well-rounded.

I try to more modest and humble. I say I’m trying to put a human face and gentleman like conduct on men. Not trying to be cocky, just saying I’m trying to be a gentleman. My birth father was a pig and a monster. I don’t want to follow in his footsteps or example.

Yeah, it'll not take her breath away. That's the highway to the danger zone.

You want to have modesty....but you also want to seem sure of yourself.

It’s a hard balance. I say “sorry” too much myself.

But you must not appear desperate for a date. That turns off women more than most things.

About turning women off by seeming desperate, I have heard. I am trying to figure out what why I don’t get looked at twice. A lady at work says that women are threatened by me because I’m a go-getter. Having Aspergers does come with a lot of disadvantages. I wonder what signs to look for verbally and visually when women show they are interested.