Is There a Better Dating Site?

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Is there a better dating site out there?

I've been on many dating sites, but nothing ever came from any of them.

Nearly everyone I met through a dating site lost interest after one date. The only time someone agreed to a second date, I just didn't feel any attraction to her.

I generally can't tell if I'm interested in someone without meeting her in person. In the case I mentioned above, we talked online for a few months. But once we met I just didn't feel any attraction. I wanted to give things a chance so I went on a second date with her, but that confirmed that there's just no chemistry.

But on the other hand, I never had any success meeting women in person either.

I’m thinking of giving OkCupid another change. At least two people here found partners on OkCupid, I met my ex-boyfriend on OkCupid in January of last year. When my mom was alive, she met her boyfriend in a Yahoo! chat room.

Just FWIW I met my wife on Zoosk (we've known each other for 3 years, been happily married for 6 months, and have a baby on the way). Also I was very close to quitting dating sites altogether right around the point when I met her. Others I had tried were Match, OkCupid, POF, Tinder, and eharmony. Okcupid and Match were the only ones besides Zoosk that I ended up ever getting real dates on. A little history on my story.

So I had no concept of casual dating when I entered the online dating world. I had only been with two women and both were LTRs that had been slow to develop. I felt kind of hopeless at dating but knew I could have a relationship. After my GF of 5 years left me (we met in college and had taken things really slowly), she suggested I try dating sites, so I gave them a try eventually (after my severe depression subsided a bit, though the idea sounded a little ridiculous and desperate to me). Over the course of about 4 years I tried dating sites with almost no success. I also unsuccessfully tried to get a date with a customer who had been coming into my workplace. Here's a little breakdown of what it was like for me.

Okcupid - First site I tried. I had a date set up with a girl without too much effort, she seemed cool enough (about my age). We flirted a bit online and set up a date, and then we talked on the phone one time, and confirmed that we were going to be meeting up the following week. I got some kind of automated email from Okcupid saying "some people just don't know a good thing" which was automatically sent out by them to let people she had been talking to know she had "found someone". I mistakenly thought that the email was talking about *me* (since she and I had decided to meet up). Anyway, I showed up on the night of the date and she wasn't there, then she texted me and told me the story. Supposedly she had "assumed I wasn't interested" because I hadn't called her again (despite us having a date set up). Suffice to say I was pretty upset and abandoned online dating for some time.

I was working part-time in a parking lot for a couple years before they fired me on a technicality, and thought it would be okay to hit on a customer who I felt was very flirtatious with me (older woman). She led me on for a while in person, over text etc., before finally just failing to call when she said she would time and time again, and never set up a date with me, and then said she was moving out of the state. I got mad at her and let her have it through text and we never talked again.

Eventually I returned to online dating. Next in line was someone on Match (I seem to remember), older woman. We set up a legit date for this one and made sure we agreed to meet and no one was stood up. I met her at the symphony and we watched some classical music together. I liked her but she didn't reciprocate. I didn't have any money or job at the time and I think she wanted either a sugar daddy or someone "really hot" and I just wasn't in great physical shape. I let myself get out of shape after my ex left me and I was depressed (but I didn't want to lower my standards). So there was no second date.

So I kept at it. I got another date on OkCupid after talking with another girl on there for a while. She was a bit younger than I was. I developed a big crush on her just based on chatting with her online, following her instagram, etc. We seemed to really click and had some things in common. I thought there was potential there although of course we hadn't met in person. Once we finally met, I got the impression she was hardly interested in me at all. The entire time she was just on her computer and could barely look me in the eye. She asked me to keep in touch anyway so I did. Then she put up a photo on instagram of her and her boyfriend with a caption explaining how they met. I got mad and freaked out at her through text and we never spoke again.

After that I decided not to attempt any more online dating until I was in really good physical shape. So I lost like 80-85 or so pounds and reentered the dating site world with new confidence, I was looking and feeling good (and had a better job situation in place but still wasn't financially well off). I eventually got a date set up with a really attractive girl and we seemed to be getting along well through text etc. She was 20 min. late for the date which threw me off. but she was nice to me and we did talk for a while. She gave me a hug at the end and we set up a second date. In the meantime we texted quite a bit and I thought we were hitting it off, I was becoming really infatuated with her. By the time the second date came around I just got the sense she was losing interest. Again she was running late and seemed unenthusiastic. She said she'd be interested in a third date, which we planned to set up the following week. Then while I was waiting to hear back from her about it, she just sent me a text and said she thought we should be friends and wished me good luck.

That one hit me hard and I cried about it. I just couldn't figure out what I had done wrong and why she had seemingly led me on, and I was really feeling strongly about her (relatively speaking, I was getting my hopes up and had been single for so long). So anyway, I tried to move on and get back on the saddle. I lost even more weight (I had maybe just a few more pounds to lose), and continued to look for dates. I got a date through Tinder. She no-showed for that and when I asked her about it, she said "sorry, I had to leave last night on an emergency blah blah", at that point I was so sick of things going wrong that I was almost ready to give up.

Then I tried Zoosk and my current wife started talking to me. Of course I was skeptical for a while given my history, but we talked and gradually we decided to meet up and give it a shot. The first date went really well and we both seemed very interested in each other. I felt it was easily the best first date I had ever had. We cuddled a bit, held hands, and hugged and spent hours out at dinner, walking around, in the park etc. We set up a second date which also went great, and then a third. Unfortunately she let me know on the third date that she had something to tell me (a "secret"). I kissed her on that date and then when she shared her secret it crushed me. This secret nearly led to the end of our relationship, but thankfully, we were able to resolve it. And once we had done so, we started dating in full force, and fell in love, and the rest is history. End of story.

Okcupid is a total tinder clone now, for those who still think it’s better.

I’m back on on OkCupid, I got over 100 likes in 2 days If you subscribed to OkCupid, it will be $50 for one month.