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When a woman rejects someone

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rdos
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13 Jan 2021, 2:57 pm

Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
What if ND rejects ND for not being attracted to that specific person?
EVERYONE should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.  Should rejection be made illegal?  Should you be forced to pay a fine every time you turn down some creep for a date?  Should you be put in jail for saying 'No' to sex?  Should anyone even be required to ask your permission?  Rejecting others is your right and privilege.  Same for everyone else.  People should learn to deal with rejection in a mature and reasonable way.
It's not just a dating thing.
I never said it was.  Whether you have just met the person or you have been married to them forever; when it is over, it is over, and that is all there is to it.
You need to deal with it when your neighbor doesn't like you or when you don't get a job.  That's a part of life - hopefully, not the main one.
A major part of life is learning to deal with every disappointment in a mature and reasonable way, from moving next door to a nasty neighbor, to losing a job, to being dumped, to watching a loved one's casket get lowered into the ground.  Rejection is just one thing, not everything.


I think we have completely different expectations of neightbours, friends, relatives and partners. I have no expectations of the former, and couldn't care less if they reject me in some way or another. They are just part of the huge mass of "humans", and if they are nasty I'd just ignore them. For a partner to be worthwhile pursuing I will count on her being there when and if I need her (and I'd do the same for her), and rejection is not something I ever expect to get from a partner.

The reasoning that a relationship is just a type of social "thing" is completely alien to me.



rdos
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13 Jan 2021, 3:00 pm

magz wrote:
What if ND rejects ND for not being attracted to that specific person?


NDs don't reject. They ignore. Big difference. :mrgreen:

They can do it that way because it is highly unnatural for a ND male to ask a woman for a date, and so this is not how NDs get to meet naturally. Rather, if two NDs don't like each other they will largely ignore each other. Nobody needs to reject and nobody needs to be rejected.



Last edited by rdos on 13 Jan 2021, 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

wastubricine
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13 Jan 2021, 3:00 pm

rdos wrote:
wastubricine wrote:
What if a ND rejects another ND, for example because the former one is escaping towards their precious NT persona they're too used and attached to?


Good point, and probably not uncommon. In fact, if I had asked my loved one for a date, I'd probably been rejected.


I find this particular kind of rejection very taxing emotionally. And I don't mean I want to force myself either physically or mentally on a partner who does that, but it does hurt when it happens, very much.

And as you already sort of stated in your previous posts, such behavior IS a product of a NT dominated world.



wastubricine
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13 Jan 2021, 3:05 pm

rdos wrote:
For a partner to be worthwhile pursuing I will count on her being there when and if I need her (and I'd do the same for her), and rejection is not something I ever expect to get from a partner.


I think this is the key point here. When a person is already a partner, rejection is akin to betrayal.



rdos
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13 Jan 2021, 3:07 pm

wastubricine wrote:
rdos wrote:
wastubricine wrote:
What if a ND rejects another ND, for example because the former one is escaping towards their precious NT persona they're too used and attached to?


Good point, and probably not uncommon. In fact, if I had asked my loved one for a date, I'd probably been rejected.


I find this particular kind of rejection very taxing emotionally. And I don't mean I want to force myself either physically or mentally on a partner who does that, but it does hurt when it happens, very much.


Yes, and according to NT educated people here we should just shrug our shoulders and pretend we don't care. I think we do care a lot and can get seriously hurt up to the point of trying to commit suicide, and so I think many of us have developed strategies to avoid this rather than accepting it as "that's life".



KT67
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13 Jan 2021, 3:13 pm

I don't think we're necessarily talking about hook up culture.

My opinion of hook up culture would be someone on an app/at a nightclub hitting on someone.

I mean NT and otherwise (dangerously otherwise) allistic men picking out autistic (and otherwise vulnerably) ND women in situations which most NTs would consider to be 'platonic'.

There's a sort of underlying assumption that if you go to a bar/nightclub alone, you're looking for someone - and tbh for a hookup. Doesn't make it ok to ignore rejections but does make it more likely that the answer will be yes than in a classroom or out on the street or on public transport etc.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Jan 2021, 3:55 pm

KT67 wrote:
I don't think we're necessarily talking about hook up culture.

My opinion of hook up culture would be someone on an app/at a nightclub hitting on someone.

I mean NT and otherwise (dangerously otherwise) allistic men picking out autistic (and otherwise vulnerably) ND women in situations which most NTs would consider to be 'platonic'.

There's a sort of underlying assumption that if you go to a bar/nightclub alone, you're looking for someone - and tbh for a hookup. Doesn't make it ok to ignore rejections but does make it more likely that the answer will be yes than in a classroom or out on the street or on public transport etc.



NEVER go to a bar or nightclub alone, I wouldn’t.