I am not allowed to date or talk to women romantically

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14 Oct 2021, 9:02 am

magz wrote:
So they just use it as yet another tool to control you and prevent you from gaining independence.
They even may lie about it.

I'm worried about this too :(


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Texasmoneyman300
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14 Oct 2021, 9:08 am

magz wrote:
So they just use it as yet another tool to control you and prevent you from gaining independence.
They even may lie about it, if they don't want to give you details.

Well a lot of people in my culture dont like to discuss inheritances with kids before they die.They do it to provide for me as I am unable to work.



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14 Oct 2021, 9:10 am

funeralxempire wrote:
It sounds like you might be better off walking away from all of it and seizing independence instead.

Well the only ways for me to seize independence from my parents would be being homeless on the streets or locked up somewhere for life in a state insitution or group home.



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14 Oct 2021, 9:12 am

AFAIK, group homes don't lock people up.

Why are you unable to work?


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kraftiekortie
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14 Oct 2021, 9:15 am

Yep.....parents with trust funds for their kids have a way of doing this sort of thing.

You are certainly in a quandary....and I wish we could come up with a solution.

Have your parents ever told you why they feel you're not ready for a relationship?

In my opinion, I feel you should be allowed to, at least, form friendships with women.



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14 Oct 2021, 9:16 am

magz wrote:
AFAIK, group homes don't lock people up.

Why are you unable to work?

I am unable to work because of my aspergers but I have been trying to get a job for about a decade and i really have not had much luck.



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14 Oct 2021, 9:18 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Yep.....parents with trust funds for their kids have a way of doing this sort of thing.

You are certainly in a quandary....and I wish we could come up with a solution.

Have your parents ever told you why they feel you're not ready for a relationship?

In my opinion, I feel you should be allowed to, at least, form friendships with women.

They think I am not ready for a relationship because they think i will have my feelings hurt.I am allowed to have friendships with women but I am not allowed a romantic relationship.



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14 Oct 2021, 9:19 am

Group homes don't lock people up----but they frequently do have curfews, and they give residents mandatory chores that they have to do around the house.

One is less "independent" in a group home than in one's own home.



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14 Oct 2021, 9:21 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
It sounds like you might be better off walking away from all of it and seizing independence instead.

Well the only ways for me to seize independence from my parents would be being homeless on the streets or locked up somewhere for life in a state insitution or group home.


It would certainly involve a significant disruption at first and because of that I can't suggest it's a good course of action but at the same time depending on how much the situation with your parents is hurting you it still might have a similar cost/benefit analysis.

That said, I'd also not tell them if a relationship is romantic because they've chosen to create a circumstance where it's reasonable to deny them those details.


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magz
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14 Oct 2021, 9:21 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
magz wrote:
AFAIK, group homes don't lock people up.

Why are you unable to work?
I am unable to work because of my aspergers but I have been trying to get a job for about a decade and i really have not had much luck.
There are different jobs. Asperger's is a condition that may make you unable to do one but perfectly suited for another.
What are you good at?


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kraftiekortie
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14 Oct 2021, 9:22 am

Have you had a very bad reaction to someone breaking up with you in the past?

I believe it is true that friendships with women can sometimes turn into romances with women.

It's natural for a person to want a romantic relationship with another person----whether the person is "disabled" or "not disabled."



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14 Oct 2021, 9:26 am

We don't know, in totality, the OP's situation.

I wouldn't advocate encouraging someone to "go out on his/her own" unless I know the person well.

If he hasn't had any employment at all, he would only be possibly eligible for SSI. One really doesn't get a sustainable monthly payment with SSI.

I can certainly understand why a person would want a romantic relationship with another person. People are human, after all---whether or not they are "disabled."



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14 Oct 2021, 9:31 am

magz wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
magz wrote:
AFAIK, group homes don't lock people up.

Why are you unable to work?
I am unable to work because of my aspergers but I have been trying to get a job for about a decade and i really have not had much luck.
There are different jobs. Asperger's is a condition that may make you unable to do one but perfectly suited for another.
What are you good at?

Well I am good at preaching but I dont know if a church of Christ would hire me since I drink in moderation.We have been trying to get a job for my aspergers through the state job supported people for close to a decade and they have not gotten me a good job yet.I am thinking about possibly working for my church but idk if they would hire a drinker.



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14 Oct 2021, 9:32 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
magz wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
magz wrote:
AFAIK, group homes don't lock people up.

Why are you unable to work?
I am unable to work because of my aspergers but I have been trying to get a job for about a decade and i really have not had much luck.
There are different jobs. Asperger's is a condition that may make you unable to do one but perfectly suited for another.
What are you good at?

Well I am good at preaching but I dont know if a church of Christ would hire me since I drink in moderation.We have been trying to get a job for my aspergers through the state job supported people for close to a decade and they have not gotten me a good job yet.I am thinking about possibly working for my church but idk if they would hire a drinker.


I'm not sure it's your employer's business if you moderately drink.


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14 Oct 2021, 9:34 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Group homes don't lock people up----but they frequently do have curfews, and they give residents mandatory chores that they have to do around the house.

One is less "independent" in a group home than in one's own home.

Well maybe i used the wrong term or mispoke.I was mainly referring to being locked up in a state insitution.Sorry for the confusions.But a group home or a state facility may be the only way i avoid the streets.



magz
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14 Oct 2021, 9:35 am

If your church is already so important part of your life, I think seeking some employment within it would be a good idea.


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