The only women my age I would be interested in

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Are you confusing me with someone?

Currently I am single.

In the past I dated, yes, but never 15 years younger.

The biggest age difference I remember was 7 years and that ended up being very short term. The biggest long term relationship age difference when the woman was younger was 4 years, and when the woman was older was 5 years.

I was addressing this to ironpony

Look on the bright side.
This relationship thingy is a joke.
You are being jerked around by your genetic coding/instincts.

Stick to porn for sexual relief.
Much less emotional grief.

Hey!
That rhymes!

I am not after sex. I am after emotional connection.There is something about female attention that male attention can never replace. And no, it’s not just sex.

Yeah just go to keep working on it QFT. I think the secret is to listen/watch/learn. Pay attention to the girl and her interests.

Maybe the combination of all of the following:

1. A thought that this one specific girl won’t change a big picture because she is too far geographically, or too old, or doesn’t seem as good as some other girl who rejected me recently and/or whom I miss from the past.

2. A thought that this girl haven’t rejected me so far so she won’t reject me later either. As in, everyone else rejected me but she hasn’t, so her standards are lower than everyone else’s which means I can go ahead and do things others didn’t tolerate because she will

3. An “opposite” thought to above. Namely, a thought that everyone rejected me up till now so she will probably reject me too, it’s just a matter of time. If I will blow it anyway, might as well blow it sooner rather than later.

4. Focusing on some other problems that I deem more serious. Such as whether or not I have pre-diabetes (in case of Russian girl) or why is it waitresses in a cafe didn’t talk to me (in case of British girl).

5. Focusing on my needs rather than the girls needs.

However it all changes the moment I get rejected. I remember one of my ex’s to whom I talked about a different girl who rejected me once said “maybe I have to reject you to get your attention”. And she said it exactly right, that’s how I operate. For example, back when Russian girl was interested, I didn’t really care: I was obsessing about a possibility of pre-diabetes. Then, when Russian girl rejected me (which coincided with one of the blood tests telling me I don’t have it) I no longer cared to re-test myself the way I did till that point. Now I was obsessing about Russian girl. Then when British girl came along few weeks later, I was still obsessing about Russian girl, and in fact I was talking TO British girl as to how much I was mad at the Russian one. But then when British girl rejected me, then I stopped obsessing about Russian girl and now I was fully focused on the British one.

I prefer female company and not for the sex, also, so you are preaching to the choir.

Let me point out, that even platonic luv is the result of the evolutionary process.
It is an electro-chemical reaction in the brain.
It is programmed into us genetically.

BTW, My grand pappy skunk used to say:
"Caring for someone is one of the most selfish things a person can do."
He was a wise old skunk.


https://www.bing.com/search?q=electro-c ... F8BB7D82F6

Oh yes sorry I am dating someone who is 16 years younger than me. I was just saying to QFT that if he cannot get someone younger though, maybe he should stick to older, if younger is less attainable for him. That's all I meant. But I was also trying to figure out why younger is more appealing to him as well in order to understand his conundrum more.

Yes, and I suppose the girl was attracted to you first. No that's fine carry on,.

How dare you. The biggest age difference between me and one ex was 40 years. Thats about your full age. His kids were older than me. I had to leave because he wasn't mature enough.

They say attraction works in the following mysterious ways: females like older guys, guys like younger females. But I have a hunch there is more to it.

Last edited by Rexi on 09 Dec 2021, 2:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Are you saying I should be more advising to QFT wanting to date younger? I could be and advise him to go for it more, but he said it himself that it's not working out for him, so I was trying to help find something that might work for him more, since he said younger women never seem to be into him.

If you are having a combination of factors then that's a bit of work.

One comment that kraftie made makes sense. In the short term if you strategise your approach (like a project) you may get a girl's attention but in the long term your natural inclinations, deep motivational drivers and compulsions will come out.

This is why a lot of NT marriages (> 50%) end up in divorce as the NT men tend to mask their true selves which reveal themselves (often unintentionally) over time. The girls usually have enough but (unfortunately) it might not happen till after children.

I think you would benefit from not obsessing over 1-2 girls and building friendships with many girls with zero expectations. Kraftie's point (and I tend to agree) is that the best long term relationships (which is what you want) happen organically and are more likely to succeed if the girl becomes acquainted with you over time. The onus is on you to take things slow. Don't be disappointed if the first few don't work out, you need to actively invest time in getting to know girls and them to get to know you (slowly).

There are multiple types of empathy. Some are shallow, and some are able to be done by less feeling persons with NPD, especially cognitive. Affective is special, there are few people in the world that can feel with a person without previously experiencing something similar.

Last edited by Rexi on 09 Dec 2021, 2:20 am, edited 2 times in total.

Whoa! is this true? were you like 18 and he 58?

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