Didn’t come as a surprise that he was a virgin!

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How could a person be charged with rape by deception just because they didn't talk about their sexual past???

I'd tell you, but the WP Woke Police will ban me if I do.

Either way, I don't care now. I got my youthful sexual enjoyment, paid and otherwise, a decade before the woke politics destroyed dating. Plus, I'm becoming a 40+ old fart, sex at 40+ is no fun, and Effexor has already killed what was left of my sex drive.

How did woke politics destroy dating though?

I can't say it publicly; the mods here are all liberal. Even in direct messages, my fear of being narc'ed on is too strong, sorry. DuckDuckGo is your friend; Google is not.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 06 Jul 2022, 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh okay. But I thought woke politics has only destroyed dating for people who practice it though, and you just got to look for dating partners who are not into politics you don't want to be a part of, if that's the case?

I can't say "the woke police" have impacted my dating life in the slightest. Mileage may vary based upon how caustic ones views are perceived but blaming that on the woke police seems like Dark Ages pagans blaming the woke police because Christians won't marry them.

Do you think it depends on age too, and it seems older people more often are not as affected compared to some of the younger?

It's hard to say, especially because some relationships have enough of an age gap for that to not quite hold up (different generational cohorts, like you and your gf), although you're probably right on some level.

But say for example, the three of us (you, I and Aspie1) are roughly peers, you and I are the same age. It's likely impacted each of us to different extents, but also possibly in the opposite direction.

Consider a lot of my views, I live in a pretty conservative area with a lot of people who don't like to be challenged with facts that contradict their traditional preferences, tradition is "fact" and that set of "facts" might not care about my feelings but you bet objective facts better care about their feelings.

Oh I see. Thank you for your input. I live in a more conservative area as well. My gf is more I guess you could say, progressive than I am, but so far it still seems good. But before when I was in previous relationships with two older women, it seemed that they were far less. So I thought maybe older people would be in relationships less woke compared to younger, as a result of those experiences of mine.

Rape by deception needs to be a lot more serious than that to actually get a charge to stick.

I would never tell someone you're a virgin though until the moment you actually stand a chance with them.

As for the issues of past sex life? I see it as perfectly OK to be untruthful about it especially the older you get. As far as I'm concerned people have no business knowing about past sex life if they're dating fully grown 25+ year olds. They just need to accept that those people have by that time had a varied sex life end of.

I'm no criminal law expert but it seems that at least 50 percent if not more, of cases of people having sex, there was always one party that was untruthful about something. So 'rape by deception' would account for at least 50 percent of hook ups and I don't think a DAs office is going to want to charge over 50 percent of a state's population with rape by deception as that would be a lot of cases to charge. But I could be wrong.

In a lot of Western nations, discrimination law is very potent. It's generally accepted that being dishonest about a mental disorder or the collateral it's caused (like virginity) with the intention of avoiding being treated differently or being subject to over the top bigotry is perfectly above board.

I've said it before on WP and everyone knows it....people with autism are seen as being incompetent children. If you're not an incompetent child then you can tell whatever lies you like to avoid being labelled as one. This includes attempts to get into someone's pants regardless of if you're male or females. Just make whatever elaborate story you please to explain away social skill problems if you don't want others to know you're autisitc.

But people lie to each other all the time to get into each others pants, and no one is prosecuted for it though. Why is that, then, when it comes to rape by deception?

For example, a few years ago, I slept with a woman, and then later found out she had a boyfriend, and didn't tell me about it because she wanted to cheat.

Should I go to the police and report her for having raped me, by deception then, or was I raped therefore? I'm not meaning to come off as sarcastic or rhetorical, I am legitimateley asking if I was.

Gayle Newland was a test case in the UK for the threshold for rape by deception. What she done was extreme to say the least. Also lying about using a condom is another one of those borderline cases. I know you live in Canada but it's a similar legal system.

People can and are often well in their rights to tell lies to get people into bed. Like I mentioned above, you can lie about not having autism if you feel disclosing it will make you vulnerable to bigotry or harmful and incorrect stereotyping and nobody on earth can claim rape by deception in such circumstances. Bullshitting about stuff like that is actually a cornerstone of human rights in western nations. If lying about not having autism gets someone into bed, then good on them.

Basically, was the deception harmful to someone's dignity or health? If not then they have no claim.

As for the scenario you described, you were not raped. She got you into bed fair and square. Now if she lied about having HIV or something that would be different but even then it's often a case of GBH in the UK and not rape.

The deception needs to be deeply immoral and/or massive in scale and premeditation.

Oh okay, I see. Thank you for being clear on that. That makes sense. However, in this post before, the poster said that they were worried about being charged with rape by deception if he/she did not disclose their virginity to the other partner.

Not a hope in hell of a charge being filed. Virginity at older ages is often the result of health or mental disorders. Being an older virgin also once again has a harmful stigma to it and it's up to the virgin whether they want to disclose deeply personal info that can and often is used to ridicule them.

The person who has sex with this virgin can feel as deeply betrayed and violated as they like but the virgins right to not disclose trumps the rights of the person who is about to have sex with them.