Page 5 of 43 [ 675 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ... 43  Next

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,123
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2023, 1:36 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Let's take a tour through Issy's life:

On your mark, get set go!

- Tells you they're moving to Asia the next day instead of breaking up with you normally
- Is not Asian and still lives with parents who are not moving to Asia
- Drives around near your house in their brown car the next day and for weeks afterward
- You keep a diary but you're afraid to read old entries because it's all bad about them
- You have "boyfriend secrets" or things you wouldn't want other people to know about them
- You ask them to tell you five random facts about your life, and they can't
- They have one view of who you are and who you should be
- Gifts are way too lavish (love-bombing) or way too lame (forgotten)
- You feel like all your disagreements are about the same thing(s) but they never resolve
- He locks your children out of your home so he can whack off with them banging on windows
- He locks your child in their bedroom by turning the doorknob around backward
- He laughs while child tries to break down the door by hitting it with the air vent cover
- He damages your children's property and blames them or even mocks them for it
- He tells your children about overhearing bullies who hate them, who don't really exist
- He tells your children there are bogeymen in the closet or following them around
- He turns off the hot water when your kids get in the shower without telling them
- Then he makes fun of your kids and mimics them for being cold or complaining
- He steals the money out of your kids' birthday cards and blames them for losing it
- He returns some of their things to the store without a receipt, and keeps the money
- He blames your kids for losing those things
- He pawns your kids' electronics at a pawn shop and blames them for losing them
- He pours grape drink in your child's X-Box and blames him
- He makes you sleep on the floor in the house you own, and locks himself in your bedroom
- He wants sex workers for his birthday
- He forgets how to spell your name, what your last name is, or what your phone # is
- He lives in his mother's house but says "she lives with me"
- He gets drunk and hits a cyclist but blames the cyclist
- He lies and keeps secrets, and when caught says "but I didn't want to hurt you ..."



^ Who would be in a relationship with a such low lunatic absolute jerk?


Quote:
- He locks your children out of your home so he can whack off with them banging on windows


Please don’t tell me he is not in jail yet.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,123
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2023, 1:47 am

- Drama queen about everything
- Putting words in mouth
- Claiming of things said that were never said
- Silent treatment over silly things
- Obviously a gold digger

^ Those are red flags that would make me not date them even.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

17 Mar 2023, 3:24 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ Who would be in a relationship with a such low lunatic absolute jerk?



I'm not sure if that's intended to be empathy, victim-blaming, or gaslighting. ^

Lots of people are in relationships with "absolute jerks", because they're trapped by systemic corruption.
It's called domestic violence because people cannot escape their own homes, or family court laws.
Relationships clearly don't begin like this, except in rare circumstances.
They usually begin with groomers and predators who deceive us for their own gain.

I haven't shared even 1% of what I've experienced.
Being autistic makes it especially difficult to get help.

Also, that list describes three different abusers, not just one.


Quote:
- He locks your children out of your home so he can whack off with them banging on windows



The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Please don’t tell me he is not in jail yet.


Half a million dollars of court fees later and no, he's not in jail.
He's confined in psychiatric care.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 30,244
Location: Hell

17 Mar 2023, 4:49 am

Abusers typically aren’t abusive when you first meet them or in the beginning of a relationship. It’s a gradual process. That’s how the cycle of abuse works. Looking back, there were clear warning signs in the beginning, but I was too naïve and socially unaware to see them.

My ex is not in jail either. Due to various threats, manipulation, and gaslighting over a prolonged period of time, I was too afraid to report anything. I was shell-shocked.

If I could, I would do things very differently now, but I can’t go back and change anything because funeralx is borrowing the time machine that I keep in my garage.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,123
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2023, 10:59 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ Who would be in a relationship with a such low lunatic absolute jerk?



I'm not sure if that's intended to be empathy, victim-blaming, or gaslighting. ^

Lots of people are in relationships with "absolute jerks", because they're trapped by systemic corruption.
It's called domestic violence because people cannot escape their own homes, or family court laws.
Relationships clearly don't begin like this, except in rare circumstances.
They usually begin with groomers and predators who deceive us for their own gain.

I haven't shared even 1% of what I've experienced.
Being autistic makes it especially difficult to get help.

Also, that list describes three different abusers, not just one.


Quote:
- He locks your children out of your home so he can whack off with them banging on windows



The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Please don’t tell me he is not in jail yet.


Half a million dollars of court fees later and no, he's not in jail.
He's confined in psychiatric care.


Fair enough, you have a terrible luck with men.

I often forget that people can wear masks very effectively, a partner is indeed like gift box chocolate, one can’t tell what filling it has before biting it, it can be full of s**t.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,601
Location: Right over your left shoulder

17 Mar 2023, 11:10 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
If I could, I would do things very differently now, but I can’t go back and change anything because funeralx is borrowing the time machine that I keep in my garage.


Not giving back your time machine seems like a serious red flag. 8O


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
They have a name for Nazis that were only Nazis because of economic anxiety or similar issues. They're called Nazis.


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 30,244
Location: Hell

17 Mar 2023, 11:12 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
If I could, I would do things very differently now, but I can’t go back and change anything because funeralx is borrowing the time machine that I keep in my garage.


Not giving back your time machine seems like a serious red flag. 8O

Shame on you! :evil:



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,123
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2023, 11:32 am

- Having a time machine, they can go back in time and prevent my parents to do it.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 30,244
Location: Hell

17 Mar 2023, 11:35 am

I’d prefer not getting involved in your parents’ sex life. :eew:



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

17 Mar 2023, 12:57 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I often forget that people can wear masks very effectively, a partner is indeed like gift box chocolate, one can’t tell what filling it has before biting it, it can be full of s**t.


Thanks.

The first one / husband I was very young when we met. He was a great boyfriend actually, for several years. Then it just turned out he wanted the house and kept suing me for 25 years.

Second one - Yeah, I got scammed from Day 1 but I was so needy with three little kids I took his affection at face value.

Third - We were really good friends for a long time and we're still in contact now, but with boundaries.

The "moving to Asia" guy was someone I dated for like two months, who doesn't even count on the radar but I think it's a funny story.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,123
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2023, 2:39 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I often forget that people can wear masks very effectively, a partner is indeed like gift box chocolate, one can’t tell what filling it has before biting it, it can be full of s**t.


Thanks.

The first one / husband I was very young when we met. He was a great boyfriend actually, for several years. Then it just turned out he wanted the house and kept suing me for 25 years.

Second one - Yeah, I got scammed from Day 1 but I was so needy with three little kids I took his affection at face value.

Third - We were really good friends for a long time and we're still in contact now, but with boundaries.

The "moving to Asia" guy was someone I dated for like two months, who doesn't even count on the radar but I think it's a funny story.



« Living with partner » for a period of time before marrying them must be a rule.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,123
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

17 Mar 2023, 2:42 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
I’d prefer not getting involved in your parents’ sex life. :eew:



https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wilbTzjXO ... dHVyZSA%3D



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

17 Mar 2023, 3:00 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I often forget that people can wear masks very effectively, a partner is indeed like gift box chocolate, one can’t tell what filling it has before biting it, it can be full of s**t.


Thanks.

The first one / husband I was very young when we met. He was a great boyfriend actually, for several years. Then it just turned out he wanted the house and kept suing me for 25 years.

Second one - Yeah, I got scammed from Day 1 but I was so needy with three little kids I took his affection at face value.

Third - We were really good friends for a long time and we're still in contact now, but with boundaries.

The "moving to Asia" guy was someone I dated for like two months, who doesn't even count on the radar but I think it's a funny story.



« Living with partner » for a period of time before marrying them must be a rule.



LMAOOOOO
No, not on your life. Then you're even more screwed because it's not Common Law.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,926
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

17 Mar 2023, 3:07 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I often forget that people can wear masks very effectively, a partner is indeed like gift box chocolate, one can’t tell what filling it has before biting it, it can be full of s**t.


Thanks.

The first one / husband I was very young when we met. He was a great boyfriend actually, for several years. Then it just turned out he wanted the house and kept suing me for 25 years.

Second one - Yeah, I got scammed from Day 1 but I was so needy with three little kids I took his affection at face value.

Third - We were really good friends for a long time and we're still in contact now, but with boundaries.

The "moving to Asia" guy was someone I dated for like two months, who doesn't even count on the radar but I think it's a funny story.



« Living with partner » for a period of time before marrying them must be a rule.

When you're very young, moving in with somebody once you've established an exclusive relationship feel completely natural, especially in the US where a person in their early 20s or sometimes even late teens can either live on their own or with roommates. In other countries, for example Spain where people are prone to stay with their parents until married, it's less likely. I'm going to guess Lebanon is more like Spain than the US.

The problem is, once you're living together it's not so simple when the relationship deteriorates, as it might at that age. Ironically, when you're older especially 30 and beyond, it's more likely both people are established and may even have set up housekeeping with pets, an interior design scheme, etc. and so they are less likely to move in together unless they have very good reason to think they're in a permanent arrangement. I would say it's better to not do so unless you have marriage plans, however I am also aware of countries (not Spain!) where people seemed to have stopped getting married, but the same rule probably applies.


_________________
My WP story


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 30,244
Location: Hell

17 Mar 2023, 3:19 pm

I just don't like the idea of marriage. I will never remarry. Once was one time too many. A committed, monogamous relationship would be nice though (excluding the fivesome :lol: ).



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

17 Mar 2023, 3:33 pm

I'm still looking for your house. ^

Any tips?


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles