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No job means a gf is out of the question?

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cyberdad
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19 Sep 2024, 5:28 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
I'm sure there are some ACE women out there crying out for a hug. I suppose the difficulty is in tempting them for a social outing, perhaps.


that's a hard sell. I imagine the ACE females aren't really looking for men



blitzkrieg
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19 Sep 2024, 5:30 pm

cyberdad wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
I'm sure there are some ACE women out there crying out for a hug. I suppose the difficulty is in tempting them for a social outing, perhaps.


that's a hard sell. I imagine the ACE females aren't really looking for men


There are some asexual, yet hetero-romantic females who are interested in romance without sex. That is true for guys too.

But yes, it is a fairly hard sell.

The best thing for Jamesy imo is to stop expecting or believing he will meet a woman. If he does, then great. If not, then the less time spent thinking about it will make it seem less important.



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19 Sep 2024, 5:32 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Have you ever considered trying to be content with being single, Jamesy?

It sounds like all of your longing and desperation are going to waste on women who don't even recognize your existence.

Not letting women take up your headspace would probably be beneficial, by the sounds of it.




How would you know if they recognise my existence or not? :?


Based on what you have said historically in your posts, you sound like you are invisible to women? I didn't think this was a secret.

No offence, but I don't think there will be many or perhaps any women thinking about you at night or at any other time during any 24-hour cycle. You have barely met any women, and the ones you have met have not been interested in you in most instances. You seem to put women in general on a pedestal in your mind which I suppose is more common for people who have never experienced sex.

I'm not trying to be nasty or anything, but sometimes you just have to consider what you spend your mental resources on and whether it is worth it?





I am a nice looking guy who works out there is no reason why women should not be interested in me


Okay I am 5ft7/5ft8



TwilightPrincess
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19 Sep 2024, 5:36 pm

^ Someone might come along, but maybe it would be a good idea to focus on other things/other interests. I think it’s great that you volunteer. I wonder if there are other opportunities like that that you would enjoy. Meeting people and making friends outside of the pub is probably a good idea.



Jamesy
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19 Sep 2024, 5:49 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Have you ever considered trying to be content with being single, Jamesy?

It sounds like all of your longing and desperation are going to waste on women who don't even recognize your existence.

Not letting women take up your headspace would probably be beneficial, by the sounds of it.




How would you know if they recognise my existence or not? :?


Based on what you have said historically in your posts, you sound like you are invisible to women? I didn't think this was a secret.

No offence, but I don't think there will be many or perhaps any women thinking about you at night or at any other time during any 24-hour cycle. You have barely met any women, and the ones you have met have not been interested in you in most instances. You seem to put women in general on a pedestal in your mind which I suppose is more common for people who have never experienced sex.

I'm not trying to be nasty or anything, but sometimes you just have to consider what you spend your mental resources on and whether it is worth it?



I think you are being quite nasty actually



blitzkrieg
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19 Sep 2024, 5:54 pm

Okay Jamesy, I apologise for coming across as nasty.



cyberdad
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19 Sep 2024, 5:56 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
There are some asexual, yet hetero-romantic females who are interested in romance without sex. That is true for guys too.


Should suggest to Jamesy to promote this type of profile on dating apps. Might be less intimidating.



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19 Sep 2024, 5:57 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Okay Jamesy, I apologise for coming across as nasty.



What came over you?



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19 Sep 2024, 5:57 pm

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Okay Jamesy, I apologise for coming across as nasty.



What came over you?


I dunno man. My head is hurting a bit tonight. Maybe that is it?



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19 Sep 2024, 6:43 pm

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Okay Jamesy, I apologise for coming across as nasty.



What came over you?


I can kind of see where Blitz was coming from. I don't think he meant to come across as nasty but his words were blunt and harsh.

I think he was trying to say to not care about women who are not going to care about you. It's going to save you the time and energy to realize this because you won't have to go through a "she likes me she likes me not" mind set. And wondering if someone has feelings for you while they actually don't sucks.


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20 Sep 2024, 1:46 am

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:

How would you know if they recognise my existence or not? :?


Based on what you have said historically in your posts, you sound like you are invisible to women? I didn't think this was a secret.

No offence, but I don't think there will be many or perhaps any women thinking about you at night or at any other time during any 24-hour cycle. You have barely met any women, and the ones you have met have not been interested in you in most instances. You seem to put women in general on a pedestal in your mind which I suppose is more common for people who have never experienced sex.

I'm not trying to be nasty or anything, but sometimes you just have to consider what you spend your mental resources on and whether it is worth it?



I think you are being quite nasty actually


Sorry, what exactly is nasty here? If you have barely met anyone, how can they think of you? This is a forum for Aspies. Being blunt is part of the job description.



ezbzbfcg2
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20 Sep 2024, 2:14 am

Jamesy wrote:
I am a nice looking guy who works out there is no reason why women should not be interested in me


Okay I am 5ft7/5ft8


How do you know if you're nice looking? You're not a woman. In their eyes, you may not be that great looking.

Theory of Mind.

Working out is meaningless unless you're on some sort of cusp of passable/non-passable.



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20 Sep 2024, 3:05 am

Jamesy wrote:
My parents told me a girlfriend is out of the question unless you have a job. Are they right or not?
It depends on whether or not any women you know are willing to spend their money on you instead.

Are they?


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20 Sep 2024, 4:35 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I am a nice looking guy who works out there is no reason why women should not be interested in me


Okay I am 5ft7/5ft8


How do you know if you're nice looking? You're not a woman. In their eyes, you may not be that great looking.

Theory of Mind.

Working out is meaningless unless you're on some sort of cusp of passable/non-passable.



In 2014 a girl in a nightclub touched my face and said she really fancied me. So I must be nice looking



Fnord
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20 Sep 2024, 5:36 am

Jamesy wrote:
In 2014 a girl in a nightclub touched my face and said she really fancied me. So I must be nice looking
Ten years ago?  Where is she now?


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Jamesy
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20 Sep 2024, 5:39 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
In 2014 a girl in a nightclub touched my face and said she really fancied me. So I must be nice looking
Ten years ago?  Where is she now?



I didn't make a move