Aspie dating success stories

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Can we please not go this route? There are a lot of lonely women out there, including on WP. There’s absolutely no need to say that men have it worse in this regard. Factoring in negative experiences like SA and domestic violence that so many autistic women experience according to the research, loneliness and disenfranchisement are very common.

Please read. I am not saying men have it worse. I am saying men are more likely to be unintentionally single and regretting it. Women do also find themselves single (for whatever reason) later in life. But they are much better at coping and managing. they are also able to draw on friendship groups and support. Men often struggle with this especially later in life.

I am not saying women don't experience loneliness (I am sure this phenomena also impacts women who are also in partnerships). But in terms of social calamities, men are pretty useless when left alone and need help but don't know how to ask for help or are too worried about stigma to take the first step.

This reads like semantic dancing around the point being made by TwilightPrincess.

Best to not try and quantify relationships at all - there are so many variables and so many ways people can be upset by it.

These are, yet again, more unhelpful generalizations. Some women are just as lonely and unhappy as some men are. We don’t all have supportive, social networks to draw upon. I’m saying that it’s absolutely unnecessary to go there on WP. We can talk about being lonely and wanting relationships and support without going to the “women have it easier” place in this or any regard which happens in almost every damn thread. Seriously, think about it. Think about what women here have been through and are still grappling with. It’s so often a very lonely road dealing with major trauma, illnesses, loss, and whatever else so many of us are struggling with. The constant sexist BS tends to build and feels a whole lot like bullying which is why some female members over the years left. Loneliness is a human issue that we all experience. I don’t talk about my experiences with it much because of the dismissive, hurtful, and otherwise unhelpful comments some of y’all make on a regular basis, and I’m certainly not the only woman who’s felt that way.

Folks here need to stop othering women and making vague references to “female psychology” and think of “human psychology” instead because we are all just that…human. Based on my years’ worth of experience on WP, I realize that that might be a difficult notion for some to grasp, but it’s true. Sure, there are minor differences but not so much as some of y’all seem to think about and obsess over. There are platforms that are gender-based when it comes to these sorts of topics. WP isn’t one of them.

Yeah, thats partially my fault. I have a tendency of naturally wading into the waters of controversy. Lol

Ok, as Cornflake advised, its best not to quantify relationships. But honestly (at least for me) not my intention to "other" women's points of view.

I think we need to be careful about using science or alleged science to come to erroneous conclusions or to make generalizations based off of them. Obviously, many women are alone and struggle to get dates as well.

I’m glad that that’s not your intention. I just find it a bit puzzling (and tiresome) when members regularly have posts and threads edited or removed due to sexist generalizations and the like with that not appearing to change their behavior in the slightest. If I had one or many removed for such reasons, I would reflect on subsequent posts because I wouldn’t want to be or for folks to think I was sexist, but for some people, it doesn’t work as a deterrent at all. They’ll just post the same or similar s**t a different day. I can think of several posts/threads you’ve had edited or removed over the past couple of weeks that were related to women, and as we’ve talked about before, this has been an issue for years. I’m not meaning to pick on you when I say that, but I just find it puzzling. Perhaps reflecting before posting might be useful.

Right, well I guess it might be safest if I don't comment about women at all.

If you only address men when speaking of human issues like loneliness, it’s also problematic, though, since we all experience it. That would still be othering even if women aren’t mentioned at all.

As I said before, it’s fine to comment about women if it comes from a place of humanity rather than difference. Don’t be dismissive of our experiences, viewpoints, or struggles, don’t tell us what it’s like to be a woman, don’t claim that women have it easier in any respect, don’t make generalizations, don’t call us “girls” since it’s infantilizing, don’t post sexually suggestive photos, etc.

I totally understand all this. But this is also a forum. People want to speak their minds and express themselves. the thread called men vs women tug of war maybe hints at this. At the end of the day we are all human, But the truth is we don't interact equally. Women are selective in real life over whom they choose to interact with and how they interact with people. there is a gender divide. Men are of course the same with women. I am not disputing that either.

While we operationalise this ontological state of affairs when journeying through real life, we also concurrently know deep down inside it's all BS.

People are free to speak their minds on WP to a certain extent, but there are still rules, guidelines, and expectations they must follow. If you wouldn’t be okay with making generalizations, engaging in othering, and the like when it comes to other groups of people such as racial minorities, you shouldn’t do so when it comes to gender, either.

^^^ I am trying to be respectful

I think it's important for people to make their points, observation and gleen evidence from whatever sources they like without dismissing case by case examples or making the sweeping generalisation that the dating experiences of men and women are identical and there are no differences in the challenges they face, be it more difficulty or less difficulty.

Currently, there seems to be a trend of both happening on WP. By all means, people should present evidence that suggests there are differences in experiences, personally, I think it's somewhat obtuse to assume there are no differences in the dating experiences between men and women but obviously this should be done without being dismissive.

The problem is that this almost never happens. Folks typically go the generalizing route which dismisses the experiences of others.

Men and women often experience the same challenges although, granted, at different rates. I just don’t think it’s necessary to make it about gender here when there are other sites for that.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 30 Sep 2024, 5:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

that seems to be the panacea for all male woes when it comes to dating. You have it bad, well women have it just as bad.

Actually "folks" also understand that people are individuals and when you keep peeling back the layers you find out what the problem might be with a few questions.