What women HATE most (excellent article)

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There were several things I noticed about this article.

First off, he is talking about attractive women as if there is a universal standard to attractiveness, and he came of as if he really wasn't looking for a serious relationship but just for sex. (Granted, I'd be happier with even one of those)

Second, although the stereotypes he was spouting are generally true, he never actually said anything that was actually helpful. He said what women didn't like, but he did not explain himself very well and he didn't really give any methods, just a bunch of BS theory. Oh great, my body language is bad, so he tells me to go to a couples bar, stare at a couple to watch their body language like it would be any f*****g help, I'd probably get thrown out of the bar for staring. Body language issues aren't fixed that easily, especially for an aspie.

guys' self-help.
after reading this, i wonder i'll like aspie men who like to read this. i feel really sorry that the author doesn't know how different aspie women are... My feeling might be the same as NT men who read women's discussion section on WP.

If you met them IRL I don't think it would matter much either way; its only a small facet of who they are and in the end I think they're dying to have a woman prove them wrong on this - they've just seen to much of the wrong side of things.

I didn't read the entire article (I lost patience with it), but the things he said are so untrue about me. Like the part where he says that women have a clear line between guys who are just friends and guys that they are in a relationship with. As a matter of fact, I've felt the most intense love for men who were my friends. Love and attraction come from within for me. A guy who is just good looking? I'll think, "he is good looking" and forget his name in 2 minutes. But a man who listens to me, who is interested in me, who is my best friend? How can I NOT fall in love with him?! All he has to do is make the first step and I'll be his. The reason I don't make the first move with guys who are my friends is because I am afraid they'll reject me and then I'll lose their friendship.
Here are things I hate about men:

1. Dominant men. I am a human being, not an object. I abhor domination of any kind.
2. Men who don't listen to me/don't understand the word "no"/think they know what's good for me.
3. Liars. I want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Always, please.
3. Arrogance.

Btw, I don't mind clothes lying on the floor... I am messy.

The sad thing is that most men prefer stereotypical females as they are described in that article.

Yeah um...I'm an NT woman and I call WTF WAS THAT on that entire article...

Things must be reviewed on a case-by-case basis by everyone involved, because generalisations like that used on me and most of my friends group would wind you up as single as you started. XD

Tbere are men, especially aspie men, who are clueless about women. I used to be one of those men. Now at least I underestand women, in general, a bit better. Of course, not all women think the way the author of the article claimed. There are many exceptions, such as many of the women who replied to this thread expressing disagreement with the points raised on that article.

To assume that they are the exceptions is to assume that the article is a good generalization. Then again, generalizing groups of people tends to be a bad idea to begin with.

It's official. I'm f****d.

Unfortunately I do have to agree that the amount who are like this is still pretty high and I think the trouble with the nicer women is that these sorts tend to have a knack with pushing the other girls to the side. On another note though shadexiii, you understand that it has to break a guy's heart to come to the conclusion that the author did - its not a male supremacy or power trip thing, he's probably not feeling warm and fuzzy about saying those things but rather he probably feels like he's actually owning up to and flat out saying something other people won't just because it offends their sensibilities (as it offended his own but in his own mind, knowing what was really up mattered more).

That's a big part of this conflict which disturbs me because when women seem to see guys who think like this and jump all over them about being ignorant or mysogenistic, they really aren't understanding where it comes from - you can have beliefs and beliefs that you'd spread because, while they make you existentially nauseated and you hate the fact that you've found them to be true from your own experience you end up feeling like other people's inability to see it is keeping them from helping themselves or moving forward; it may look like sh-- on the surface but its intent is fundamentally altruistic.

More fool them.

That's typical of dating advice, the assume you can magically correct thiongs like body language when you probably already know what at least part of the problems are, just don't know how to, in practice, go about changing, or there are things you don't want to change because they're part of who you are or changing them goes against your senseof self-respect.

first off...WHAT is IT, and how do I get some IT?...

Being of the y chromosome set, I don't know for sure, but from lots of experience I can say

What women HATE is a MAN who thinks MEMORIZING some RULES is gonna be what they're LOOKING FOR

WOMEN hate being treated like a CATEGORY, and LIKE being treated as UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS

I mean I always like looking at Cosmos' covers in the supermarket. They're getting fed the SAME stuff WE ARE. 5 Things that MEN will go CRAZY for (the 1st 4 guesses don't count, but decorum prohibits me from being specific...ask Monica Lewinsky... WHAT MEN WANT, and how you can DRIVE THEM CRAZY!...I always wanted to meet a Cosmo girl... So it's the same sauce, just a different gender..

........Will you marry me?

Well said - in matters of love, rules are usually for fools.

Can we just have a sticky with a link to DeAngelo's website, rather than regularly, monotonously posting excerpts from his drivel?

This is a great post. I must say I am disappointed by the responses in here, in general. I have experienced what the information on the first page is referring to first hand and it seems very much on the money.

Most of the women in this thread fail to realise that the generalisation is referring to the majority, see majority, but not all neurotypical women. Some have even admitted that parts of it ring true with them.

I say stop taking it so personally and realise that you are in the minority. It is not worth getting upset over. You would think people would be used to looking past generalisations for what they can learn by now. Especially those that have known about their AS for a long time.

In my case, the information just describes why I have had limited success with women and why I will continue to have such. Autism is a natural turn off to most women in the world. It does not build attraction very well naturally with women.

Now I realise that in order to do a lot better with women I would need to lie constantly about who I am and behave in ways that are completely unnatural for me. I am not prepared to do this, because the sacrifice is simply not worth it.

As such, I agree with the earlier point that was made, that this knowledge serves mainly to make me more concious of why most women will be inclined to reject me.

Don't get me wrong either, I am sure I will find the person who is well suited to me accepts me as myself, at least now I know for certain how and where, not, to find what I am looking for. I also accept that I will have to be very patient, and I am at peace with this fact.