What do men look for in a woman besides her looks?

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yup , that's how I can expand my chances ..... limiting myself to specific narrow traits of personality will lead me to nowhere , seriously.





I am sure that you know what masculinity means and I am sure that you detect different levels (low to high) of masculinity among the male population.... that even might differs greatly from male individual to another (even with greater deviation than femininity among females) . If you never thought about it then here ..... take 5 seconds to think with your instincts ...you don't need more than that.

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see?? you understand now? It's the same feeling for us guys toward femininity ,we can also detect different levels of it....even if it's with slighter degree.

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 06 Mar 2008, 2:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

As long as shes generally laid back, either that or interesting to me in well, almost any way, then its likely I will be interested in her. (To be as vague as possible lol).

Last edited by UtukXul on 07 Mar 2008, 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't really understand the femininity thing. My last ex-girlfriend was very far away from what I'd consider a girly-girl and I still fell for her pretty hard.

For me femminity is receptiveness.

A girls that does not compete because she does feel the need to.

Something else I forgot to mention, voice can also have a lot of pull - its rarely much of a turn off but can be a pretty powerful creator of chemistry on the flip. I've known at least a few girls recently who's voices could have been DEA-scheduled and I definitely notice the impact . Makes me realize I need to learn that trick from a guy's angle.

i look for someone who is funny, coy and apprechiates a healthy lifestyle
so far nothing

Here's what I look for:
- Someone I feel comfortable around and can have a great time with - chemistry
- Someone that I have some few things in common with, and who can respect the interests I don't share with them
- Somebody who has a good balance between emotion and rationality - drama queens and "drill sergeant" personality types need not apply.
- An open mind
- A generally bright, cheerful demeanor - someone who isn't always pissed off about something.
- Someone that makes me laugh and that I can joke around with. (Don't worry, I'm pretty easily amused.)
- A reasonable level of intelligence. Contrary to what someone else said, I tend to be intimidated by women who are smarter than me (and many of them are). But as long as they're not arrogant about it, it's fine.
- Someone who handles important matters in a mature manner, but isn't afraid to act childish sometimes.
- Someone who will respect that I want to take my time getting into the "real world".

That's all I have for now.

Based on what they've posted about what they are looking for, the guys on this thread all sound awesome. If I wasn't in my relationships-are-evil-and-I-shall-avoid-them-at-all-costs frame of mind, I'd be going out and searching for guys near me who were similar.

On the femininity topic, do any of you have examples of women you've come across who seemed feminine (or not)? That might help us (females) understand what you mean when you use the word.

Similar interests
Ability to relate
Ability to talk to

I really don't care about looks, why should it matter anyway. Looks will fade in time, and what will be left? See above.

People tend to be TOO idealist when they are asked with such vague questions. So such replies just reflect the "ideal side" of their posters but not the total reality of themselves.

I am totally sure that 90% of the single guys here would say YES if they are asked out by a cute/pretty girl even if she doesn't fit at all their 'personality traits' list posted here.

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 08 Mar 2008, 3:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree with this whole statement.

im with lpp on the femininity thing, and i agree its very confusing to put to words exactly.

i guess the best description is what lpp wrote fiorst: being womanish. (without overanalyzing the whole matter)
as gwen said in another thread, its a fine line between "uuh, manly" and "uuurgh, get the hell under the shower! NOW!" - although it may be the same basic traits that make these two - its just the balance. its similar with putting attention to oneself and overgrooming - im sure that one can find a pair of guys out there that do have roughly the same amount of time spent on their appearance, with one being perceived as yummy masculine and the other as weird/girlish/overdone.
i think the main thing is "to make it work" . as its not a checklist kind of thing: this, this and this = femininity.

there are tomboyish girls that are incredibly feminine, because "they make it work", whereas there are others that appear very similar to the cute tomboy girls but dont seem to be feminine. maybe its similar to the clothes thing: some people can make certain clothes work, while some others simply cant manage to. by this, i dont mean that some girls wont ever be feminine, but they wont be feminine in a certain way. a trait that sinbglehandedly defines the femininity of woman a would destroy it all for woman b. its a similarly vague thing as beauty (id even dare to say what we mean by femininity is "a feminine way of beauty") - while on some girls, i might be put off immediately by the fact that she has a few pounds too many for my taste, some others absolutely make it work, and they are no less beautiful than my "ideal girls".

from how you appear via this forum, id say that both gwen and missconstrue appear very feminine to me, although especially gwen seems to be so much on the geekish/dorkish side of things, where you usually find boys only.
there may be girls who are far from "hello! im female! look at the cleavage on display, the barely behind-covering miniskirt and the high heels!" but very feminine in their own right. on the other hand, there may be girls that can easily be judged as "biologically female" from their whole demeanor, but who arent feminine at all. to me, britney spears is a prime example - although she had a beautiful figure in her earlier career days, she didnt come across as feminine to me. natalie portman, on the other hand, can walk around in a thick pullover and baggy trousers, but the way she moves, behaves, talks, smiles, etcetera, makes her very feminine.

my advice for you girls is not to overthink this whole thing... i guess it falls into place rather naturally.

Hmmm. Good point.

It's true. I know because: If you ask girls what they look for in a man, their answers do not match reality.

Safety. Too many times I've been brutally hurt by people I love, all I really ask for now is safety and security. Someone who I can always smile with, and never doubt, or mistrust. Someone who is there when I need them and still there when I don't, because it's just better when they're there. Someone who will still be there when I wake in the morning. The kind of person who makes it feel safe to dream of the future, because you know you're not going to lose it. All this, more than anything else - because finding a person that gives you all that is so much harder than finding someone who perfectly fits your ideal of physical beauty, or mental perfection.

Juicy juicy brains.