All women are demons from Hell that like to mess with men.

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The point that I was making is that TBPH(but not PC of course ) I notice that women tend to lie moreso than men when it comes to interpersonal affairs. This isnt because they're inherently dishonest by nature its because acting that way seems to be more effective for them at getting them what they want. There is a very strong correlation between honesty and directness, wouldnt you say? Well, women are MUCH less direct than men and that AFAIC is a probable explanation as to why they're more dishonest to men than men are to women. But you're right EvilKimEvil: you're NOT gonna get people to stop being that way if thats how they behave.

D1nk0, I think I agree with you, but I can't really say for sure. In my experience, women are more likely to be indirect and dishonest in a general sort of way socially. Maybe there are more women who tend to say what seems best socially as opposed to what they actually think.

Then I also have to wonder if men are just as dishonest but in different ways. Maybe men's dishonesty is more situationally specific, predictable, and obvious so it gets taken for granted and overlooked. You know - "I'll call you", "I want to take you out for a date", etc. when they really just want to spend one night with the girl and never see her again. That's a specific situation in which a lot of men (though certainly not all!) are often dishonest, and I'm sure there are more examples.

This is all speculation. I really do try to avoid dishonest people and only get close to honest ones, so my knowledge of the subject is based on casual interaction alone.

it's the term "women" as if they were inculcated in the womb to be liars, or something, that I object to. This is the same argument that is used to keep women in burkas in Muslim countries or Prairie dresses down in Texas. I just don't see how it affects one gender and not the other. I have seen some very disengenuious gay men in my time and that bends the gender even more, doesn't it?

Merle

Last edited by sinsboldly on 05 May 2008, 2:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hehe, women train in secret training facilities to learn how to screw over men.

Its a conspiracy, seriously.



Next time you get dumped, blame it on the world wide network of WOMB (Woman Over Men Battalion)

Yes, yes we are. Just please don't tell anyone, otherwise we won't be able to exploit you any longer.

Oh yeah!!? Well then explain Dungeons and Dragons, World of Warcraft, Starcraft... NeantHumain!

Don't wish Hell upon anybody.

If you were coming off another relationship, you should NOT have had such high expectations immediately to get into a new relationship. I keep hearing that when the wound of a previous relationship is still fresh, it's better to give it time, not complicate things with a new relationship. Time is needed to calm down, gather your strenghths, lick your wounds...

And then, if on the first date she told you she only wants to be friends...my questions:
1) why did yo stick around? Just friends is code for not wanting more.
2) not sure I unerstand the "breaking up." So if you were just friends, it wasn't a relationship..it was a friendship. No matter what you had hoped for, she had stated from the 1st day what it was.

I am sorry for what has happened. I hope you move on and not jump with high expectations into something new. Keep expectations low and realistic for at least a month into a new relationship, so that you just don't get hurt if things don't work out. And if you hear "just friends," and you're not lookin for this, don't stick around..move on.

Not trying to excuse anyone, but "just friends" is an indicator of what was on the girl's mind. If a guy told me he wanted to be just friends, I wouldn't have called him again Or maybe just for a little time and if he still wasn't interested, I'd have moved on. Not sure it's about "games." Some people have no clue how or are feeling bad when they have to tell no to somebody. I agree, it's not nice to keep someone hanging around for 6 months...but again, "just friends" was pretty clear. It wasn't like she promised anything.

Hope you feel better soon.

I agree, Nothern Light Girl.

Nothing more offensive than emotional uncertainty being labeled as "games." If that were true, what could men say of female aspies, who are even more confused about dating etiquette, relationship pacing, emotions etc?

I am baffled when I hear about games, especially since you guys are talking NOT about women that you have known for a while through work or friends...but DATES with NEW girls, whom you didn't know previously. Strangers!! !! !! !! Since when is a series of dates between strangers supposed to leave out any confusion? I don't get it HOW people who've just met can have EXPECTATIONS of one another...could expect the other to be clear on what's going on....after a few dates? Is that person NOT a stranger still? It takes months to scratch the surface and determine if you do like the other ENOUGH to call it a relationship. That's why going into a few dates with HIGH EXPECTATIONS is just not good...take them as dates, as opportunities to get to know the person but don't expect love or committment just yet.

I am not saying some women don't play games. I just want to point out that what to men looks like a game, to a woman it could be uncertainty about how she feels, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE GUY THAT WELL!! !! ! What do you do when you don't know the person well, and have mixed feelings? How do you continue to get to know them? Is that a game...if you're interested and want to see if there's more...but then realize there isn't? That's what was good about the old times...there was a courtship period, no rush. People could talk and act decent and not expect too much for a while, THEN decide on a next step. Now, it's all so rushed: today we date, tomorrow you need to know exactly how the other is feeling etc. It's uncomfortable.

Nothern_light_girl, I really wasnt talking about this situation in particular as much as I was talkinb about my own experience with women I have actually KNOWN in the past. But the emotional uncertainty of women seems to be much greater and more common than emotional uncertainty in men. BTW Merle:I TOO have come across some VERY disingenuous, dishonest, passive-aggressive gay men. But I never implied that women are inculculated in the womb to be dishonest. Im saying the learn that dishonesty is a useful way to get what they want from men.

Last edited by D1nk0 on 05 May 2008, 9:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

demons are so hot and so horny.

Oh yeah?! ! What about Sims?? Girls love sims lol

Hmmm, woman bashing... how fun.

Coming from a woman, I like nice guys, not jerky jocks. If I get together with someone, I'm checking them out as potential life partner. Bad guys may sprint well, but nice guys are better long distance runners.

To OP: It doesn't sound like she was intentionally stringing you along. It's unfortunate she wasn't more honest with you, but as others have said, her dishonesty probably had nobler intentions than her wanting to just screw you over. Even if you said you wanted utter honesty, you can't change a person's nature with a single command. If someone told me I had to suddenly start playing mind games rather than being my generally honest self, I wouldn't find that easy. So just put that concept in reverse.

She hurt you by her dishonesty, whatever her good or bad intentions. You hurt her (I'm guessing) by trying to lay a guilt trip on her. Eye for an eye. Feel better now? If not, then I'd imagine getting the last word probably wasn't such a good idea. She metaphorically kicked you in the knee and in revenge you kicked her back; now both your knees hurt...

The "emotional uncertainty" that men experience so little (as you're saying) is, IMO, explained by the fact that while women think Long Term and are prudent evaluating a mate, men think about the Short Term and its possible pleasures with a woman . So imo, men experience less emotional uncertainty..b/c it's NOT always emotional uncertainty that they experience ...but something else They kind of care less about emotions and more about...you know what.

btw, what is it that women want from men? And just curious, while women are such calculated creatures, men are totally unselfish individuals who don't want anything from women?

Misogyny would have gotten you to the top of the world had you lived around 1800

Today, misogyny as personal philosophy won't get you far.

Amazing that we have have a threat entitled as this one is and not have anyone overreacting or getting all emotional. Aspies are fun that way.

Anyway, I'm a misanthrope, not a misogynist. Women are evil, but no moreso than men. In fact, I'll clarify further. Statements like, "Women are evil," are generalizations. Of course not all women are evil, just all the ones I've had a significant relationship with. Going forward I get told not all women are like that, but here's the thing. I don't get to find that out in advance as an aspie. Intuition about that sort of thing or seeing the signs...isn't that precisely what us aspies can't do? So we're flying blind out there, and my previous experience shows I'm certainly guilty of horrible judgment on this count in the past. That's what's hopeful about dating an aspie woman. There's at least a greater chance that she'll be straightforward about herself and rational.

-Frank