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What is my main obstacle?
Too honest 9%  9%  [ 6 ]
Geographical location 9%  9%  [ 6 ]
Don't have similar interests as anyone 13%  13%  [ 9 ]
Don't have the right personality 11%  11%  [ 8 ]
Something else 59%  59%  [ 41 ]
Total votes : 70

LePetitPrince
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22 May 2008, 11:06 am

Quote:
Also, those people we call NT's aren't all the same. Automatically ruling somebody out because they're "NT" is like automatically ruling them out because they're Chinese or Irish. It might lead to missing out on a good thing.



Tim_Tex
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26 May 2008, 10:17 pm

I don't know about all Aspies, but I might be turning the WP ones off by being in the Adult forum more than I should be.

This was what I was specifically referring to by being "too honest".

The hippies consider me a religious nut, and the religious nuts consider me a hippie (yeah, Lutherans have no place in Texas)


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AnonymousAnonymous
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27 May 2008, 6:45 pm

Tim, have you ever considered leaving Texas
if anything went wrong in San Marcos?


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BazzaMcKenzie
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27 May 2008, 7:31 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
... Yet I feel that I am still unworthy to be with anyone.....

IMHO that's your main obstacle and I thinks its likely AS that makes you feel that way.

I don't know how you overcome it and realise that you are probably more worthy than most.


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juliekitty
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27 May 2008, 8:36 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
I see others post a bunch of mindless, sexist trash, with titles like "All women are possessed by the devil", and I use those threads as a reminder of how not to conduct myself.


Heh, good start.

Tim_Tex wrote:
Yet I still feel ignored and hated on here.


Huh?



juliekitty
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27 May 2008, 8:45 pm

Ragtime wrote:
I hadn't had a committed relationship for five years!
Then I met Mirror right her on WP, dated her through long drives
from Dallas to San Antonio, and then eventually married her.
We're very happy together now, so obviously that five years' singlehood
of mine didn't mean a hill o' beans to whether I'd actually end up
happy one day. :thumleft: Sometimes you're actually quite fit for
a relationship, but one just hasn't come along yet. In which case,
just be patient, and eventually it will.


Yup. It took me TEN YEARS since I broke up with my former fiance, to meet the guy I'm engaged to now.

I had a couple short-term boyfriends in between, but it took me a decade to meet "the one". And trust me, there were lots of times in those ten years when I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life.

Don't "just be patient", though -- keep looking. In those ten years, except for brief periods of exclusivity, I *never* stopped online dating. It wasn't always fun; in fact, it often felt like a part-time job. But if I hadn't stuck to it, I wouldn't be getting married in a month!



Tim_Tex
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27 May 2008, 10:24 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Tim, have you ever considered leaving Texas
if anything went wrong in San Marcos?


I do have a year and a half to go before I graduate, and won't be staying there long after then. If Seattle or San Francisco is affordable by then, then I would move to either of those cities.

And this liberal paradise I am looking for can be a small town as well. There was a school near Santa Fe, New Mexico--an "art colony"--that was in my price range, but it didn't offer the program of study I am in (geography/urban planning).


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weather1man
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27 May 2008, 11:41 pm

You are far to rigid Tim, you need to be open to things and stop trying to plan it. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE AS. Find someone who accepts you, label or no label. Also stop with the liberal thing, again it doesn't matter. It's a point, but it's not something to base a relationship on.


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MissConstrue
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28 May 2008, 12:57 am

That's a tough question because sometimes with AS it can be hard to be yourself around "other" people but I only say this outta my own experience. You can be open it's just knowing how to be socially open. It's one thing I still struggle with but I only speak from my own experience since I don't know how to respond to cues as I have a hard time knowing if someone likes me or is just being funny. So that's a tough one.


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Tim_Tex
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28 May 2008, 12:59 am

Nobody will tolerate an unemployed (even if it's because of school) 28-year-old liberal in Texas.

That's why nobody wants to date me.


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EvilKimEvil
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28 May 2008, 1:02 am

I'd like to refer you to this piece I wrote about how women become attracted to men. This is based on personal experience, conversations with other women, observations, and a little social psychology. I transfered it from a post to a blog entry, and the paragraph breaks didn't transfer :? , but if you can handle a block of text, you might find something useful in it:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=Journal&file=display&jid=7142



Tim_Tex
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28 May 2008, 1:14 am

That was a good blog. If only everyone thought like that.

I do try to improve myself as much as I can, but I feel that it is never enough.


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LePetitPrince
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28 May 2008, 4:37 am

juliekitty wrote:
Ragtime wrote:
I hadn't had a committed relationship for five years!
Then I met Mirror right her on WP, dated her through long drives
from Dallas to San Antonio, and then eventually married her.
We're very happy together now, so obviously that five years' singlehood
of mine didn't mean a hill o' beans to whether I'd actually end up
happy one day. :thumleft: Sometimes you're actually quite fit for
a relationship, but one just hasn't come along yet. In which case,
just be patient, and eventually it will.


Yup. It took me TEN YEARS since I broke up with my former fiance, to meet the guy I'm engaged to now.

I had a couple short-term boyfriends in between, but it took me a decade to meet "the one". And trust me, there were lots of times in those ten years when I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life.

Don't "just be patient", though -- keep looking. In those ten years, except for brief periods of exclusivity, I *never* stopped online dating. It wasn't always fun; in fact, it often felt like a part-time job. But if I hadn't stuck to it, I wouldn't be getting married in a month!


Online dating is not the best way recommended for straight guys, sometimes the number of males are double or even X3 , surely it's highly recommended for straight girls.....and you know that. Please,stop giving the online dating advice to straight guys , many of them would succumb in a big waste of time. What works for you rarely works for the Aspies of the other gender.

Quote:
Nobody will tolerate an unemployed (even if it's because of school) 28-year-old liberal in Texas.

That's why nobody wants to date me.


Exactly Tim, find a job, improve your financial status, your social status, improve yourself and then meet girls. Don't waste your time with online dating too much, if you want to try a good site just giving it a try for 1 week to 2 weeks ONLY, don't let yourself to be succumbed by them and don't look just for AS girls.

regards,



juliekitty
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28 May 2008, 8:55 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
Nobody will tolerate an unemployed (even if it's because of school) 28-year-old liberal in Texas.

That's why nobody wants to date me.


That's why I picked "geography" in the poll.



juliekitty
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28 May 2008, 8:56 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
Online dating is not the best way recommended for straight guys


Try telling that to my fiance. ;)



LePetitPrince
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28 May 2008, 10:49 am

juliekitty wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
Online dating is not the best way recommended for straight guys


Try telling that to my fiance. ;)


Your fiancee was lucky enough to be picked by you while many others lost a rare opportunity. Remember the gender ratio in dating sites is always way unbalanced (much more males than females, can be high as 1 to 3 or 1 to 4) , so each time a 1 girl taken from the site ==> ~3-4 guys lost the competition.