BBW's (larger women)

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I think it's kinda like being on a rollercoaster (just like that example from the end of the movie Parenthood) -- people who like to get wasted or really stoned enjoy that feeling of being out of control, at least partially. Life for the moment stops being so predictable.

Case in point -- the paranoia and fear that a novice (or someone stoned beyond their usual comfort level) feels is what someone who is more experienced craves. Also, when I'm stoned, I feel like a child, everything is new and novel, you see things in an all-new way.

Funny thing -- I've actually dealt with several crises, including multiple fires in our apartment building (we had a firebug who got caught eventually) stoned. My ability to handle crises is enhanced by handling them under less-than-optimal conditions -- or so I tell myself

LOL at the last part.

I'm probably getting old - I'm less inclined to look for the thrill, the focus seems to have switched on refining my pleasures .

I'm a larger girl and most guys don't like me. They don't know what they're missing!

Because your friends are people for whom you only have platonic feelings, not romantic ones.

i have to comment that the "because they're unhealthy and are suffering from psychological problems that's why they're fat" argument is essentially guessing based on social/cultural beauty standards. many posters have already posted that skinny or normal doesn't equal healthy and i want to point out that fat and/or high bmi doesn't equal unhealthy by default. the activity level a person can sustain varies across body types so that's correlated sure but not causal.

everyone has the right to be attracted to what they like without apology, but as a fat girl i don't have to accept that i am inherently unhealthy because a peer reviewed journal said so. my former partner was very skinny (probably a third of my person) and young (mid-30s) but had serious heart disease requiring ongoing management by a cardiologist. my husband is of average weight with a tiny bit of pudge and his cholesterol is double mine, and his blood pressure is usually higher. i once had a doctor take one look at me and say "when we get your diabetes medication started...", and then get my lab values back and sulk in silence because my blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, thyroid, etc. are all within normal healthy limits and i didn't need any medication for anything at all.

i'm not saying that obesity is not an issue but the issue is much more varied and subtle than our culture says it is. most women of any weight have body image issues and if you can sell that population a product (weight-loss drugs, surgeries, diet books, etc.) that will make them "healthier", why wouldn't any company exploit that insecurity?

i would be considered a bbw by anyone's standards (i've never liked that term, i prefer hot fat girl, thank you) and in my experience if you don't constantly apologize for who you are and you're comfortable in your own skin you will attract people regardless of how the rest of the world defines beauty. i could afford to be discerning as a single woman and i am now happily married to a hot guy.

^This. I didn't think anyone would take those statements that people who are overweight "suffer from serious psychological problems" seriously - but thanks for your response, just in case.

Damn right girl. ^.^

My friends will tell me that while I am a bigger girl, the fat isn't what they see when they look at me. They see a "bubbly and sweet girl who's extra cuddly." Yes that's a direct quote from one of them. Point being that appearance isn't everything. You can be a big jerk who looks amazing but you won't get far in terms of a serious relationship. Looks are essentially the icing on the cake.

QFT. And this goes far beyond weight as you mention yourself - it applies just as well to how much we accept and know both our body and our inner self.

Good post, welcome to Wrong Planet, Babaganeesh!

That's how I always think of you, lil @Erisad.

Awww, thanks HopeGrows. You're such a sweet person.