Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

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I used to have a friend that is a perfect example of this. Let's call him Jimmy. Jimmy was a genuine nice guy. He was the first guy that girls would run to after their boyfriends dumped them. He would let them cry on his shoulder, he would talk on the phone with them and comfort them. All in all, he was a great, nice, and genuine guy.

The problem was this; he never got women. Don't get me wrong, he had a lot of women friends and women liked him. But women have something called the "friend zone." Once you're in the "friend zone" you automatically do not have a penis. Any man in a women's "friend zone" will become a women like her. She will see you as a girlfriend. The ironic part is, when guys are stuck in this zone, they try being even nicer and even more available to her. Just like a good girlfriend would be to her. They can never break that friend zone barrier and she will never see him as a man that she could have any attraction to.

Now I had another friend, who I work with now. Let's say his name is Stan. This guy gets so many women and so much sex it's incredible. Not just sex and women, but he gets great women that are incredibly good looking and easy to be with. He has great long term relationships and lots of short time flings. Women are no problem to him. Now Stan is a nice guy too, but he's cocky. He's a little arrogant, and he always teases women and treats even the hottest women without a single shred of niceness. Especially really hot women that expect to be treated like a queen -- he just snubs them off and teases them. Or h e makes them chase him if he wants to get with them. He doesn't wait hand and foot, and if a girl tries to come crying to him about their recent breakup, he'll joke around and play it off, make them laugh, and end up sleeping with them right there!

No of course not all women are like this. Some women do like nice guys but it's rare. Being a little cocky and teasing women makes you out to be confident. THEY have to CHASE you, not the other way around. Didn't you ever know a guy that just doesn't care about women, but it seems he's got an abundance of women all around him wanting to date him? And then there's the desperate nice guy that is so good to all the women he meets, and has a lot of female friends, but never gets women? That's because he doesn't have the personality type to attract women. He's too nice and he's like a big teddy bear, not a real man.

I'm an aspie too but not a full blown -- I'm a mild aspie. However, I am sort of a cocky person in general and that has led me to success with women. However, it's something that has to be learned. Too much cockiness will make women think you're an ass, and being too nice will make women think you're a woman. There's a fine balance of being nice and being mean sometimes --- that's the secret to getting women.

Simply put, women look for these characteristics in a man:
- Whit
- Charm
- Aggression
- Self confidence
- Humor

If you notice, every single one of these traits directly related to being confident. I don't care if she's Adriana Lima and you're scared to death. Don't be. She's just a women, not a goddess...she can smell your confidence a mile away. Just do it, and don't care about it. That's the secret. Eye contact, make jokes, show confidence and be positive...don't be negative and don't compliment her.

Example --- I asked out a woman recently that works at the bank as a teller. She's pretty good looking, I would say she's a 7/10, not my usual This is how it went:

(she's holding a big stack of twenties)
Me: Well my birthday isn't until next week, but thanks! (holding out hand)
Her: (laughs) No No this isn't for you!
Me: Then what's it for?
Her: I have to count it and record it
Me: Hmm don't they have machines for that?
Her: Yea but I'm better
Me: Oh yeah? Well I better bring my deposits to you from now on then
Her: Haha, yea you better! is it really your birthday?
Me: Yes it is...what are you going to get me?
Her: I don't know what do you want?
Me: Well I was going to ask for a big stack of twenties, but I don't think you can do that
Her: No!
Me: Ok fine (smirking) Why don't we have dinner instead. What's your number? (put my deposit slip down so she can write it down)
She writes her number down, and I say "well then, I'll speak to you soon." smile and walk away

I called her a few days later, and I'm meeting her up for dinner on Saturday. I'm not picking her up. She can drive herself
Now of course this conversation was painfully difficult for me. But I fake it well. My whole life is a movie script. I just learn to copy other people and things I see on tv or read in books. My heads a giant roladex .... I just flip it to the right place and use the right lines when I need to. It works. NTs are VERY predictible.

Any ways, yes, this took me a long time to learn and I mess up sometimes. But watch sitcoms and learn stupid jokes. They may sound stupid on tv, but in real life, being witty is key -- women eat that up like you wouldn't believe. It showcases your confidence and intelligence simultaneously.

Now I know what some of the women on this board are going to say. They'll call me stupid and sexist and blahblah blah. But for the men on this forum, we all know how frustrating womens games and mixed signals can be. Don't be mad if someone figured it out and we're taking advantage of your system.

I applaud your wisdom, Dark Passenger, perhaps your advice has validity to it. Perhaps it is worth a shot.

ATTENTION ASPIES... ATTENTION ASPIES... THE STONE AGE IS OVER... I REPEAT, THE STONE AGE IS OVER... AND SO ARE THE DARK AGES... And the next person to cite the wildly overused "cavemen standard" as the model for an ideal society will get a mammoth tusk up the ass... I would've thought that a "technologically-gifted" group of people would know better. The world isn't as black-and-white as you think. Both men AND women are INDIVIDUAL people, and they don't all follow the exact same behavior. Yes, humans are subject to certain animal instincts, but we have the ability to surpass them. If it wasn't for this ability, you'd be DEAD.

Ahh, but when were generalizations ever objective? I would think them bias

I just bared witness to something very interesting.This guy got a woman by making her feel inferior. Anytime she said what she'd like to do, he nit picked. She smokes, he says she can't quit. She wants a new piercing, he says it would look stupid. She says she goes to art school, he says it's a nice place but she'll never make any money doing that. Not only could I never do that to a person, but I don't think I'd be remotely attracted to someone that didn't feel like we were equals.