Nice GIRLS

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Kaysea
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29 Jan 2009, 12:51 am

jawbrodt wrote:

Hector wrote:

People seem to read too much into the word "nice" for how little meaning it has. It might be appropriate in the context of "you're a nice guy, but"-rejections, but the reasons why things aren't working out are surely more profound than just being nice. I know plenty of guys who are, broadly speaking, nice enough, and have found someone.

^Exactly. I never once in my life heard a guy say, "I don't like that girl because she is nice". :wink:

Actually, I have done this. I have met girls (a couple of times) and totally hit it off with them, but never tried for more, because they were too nice, and I'm not. Granted, I am nicer than most guys, but I was afraid of hurting these girls in the long run, none-the-less.

Veresae
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29 Jan 2009, 12:54 am

I really like nice girls. The sweeter and more considerate, the better. I don't like it when a woman lacks a backbone though, or won't tell you the truth. I don't mind girls who are at times bitchy, as long as they're not bitchy to people who don't deserve it.

jawbrodt
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29 Jan 2009, 1:21 am

Kaysea wrote:

jawbrodt wrote:

Hector wrote:

^Exactly. I never once in my life heard a guy say, "I don't like that girl because she is nice". :wink:

If you "totally hit it off with them", you must have liked them. I said "don't like". :wink:

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moonlightwhisp
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29 Jan 2009, 1:58 am

I'm nice to people who are nice to me. I won't waste my time being kind to someone who has no intention of returning the favor. Though a lot of people think I go out of my way to be bitchy because I don't sugar coat things or tell white lies. If someone's being a jerk or if I catch them lying, I let them know exactly how I feel about it. I recently lost a "friend" because of that, but I feel like I'm better off without someone like her. She turned out to be a truly rotten person and if I'm not considered nice for cutting her out of my life, so be it. :roll:

hale_bopp
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29 Jan 2009, 2:38 am

moonlightwhisp wrote:

Oh I agree. .

I am a b***h to people who are nasty to me.

BellaDonna
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29 Jan 2009, 5:20 am

DaLoCo wrote:

frodosam wrote:

It takes me months to decide whether someone is nice or not (male or female), in respect to romantic relationships and quality friendships.

That is the right way to do it.......I mean, we have to watch movies four or five times to get the complete story. How much harder is when dealing with the complex psyche of a human, aspie or not.

hale_bopp: In my opinion a nice girl is someone who is friendly with a kind nature.

Yes, quite right. I think each person's definition of nice is dictated by their life experiences, and thus a norm would be hard to determine. I know some pushovers and gushy girls whom I avoid like the plague, they are not nice, or worse, trustworthy.

This offends me because when I was a child I was sexually abused and yes I was sweet and push over. Thanks alot!

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29 Jan 2009, 7:25 am

I am not quite sure how you read offence into my statement, except the the fact that you say you were a pushover and sweet. These qualities have nothing to do with the fact that you were sexually abused. A person with an evil mind took advantage of an innocent girl. I have refused to take any blame for the fact that I was sexually abused, I was a child and had no guilt whatsoever transpired. The only guilty party is my abuser.

I had to make the choice whether I am going to direct the anger at myself, or my abuser (a close family member btw). If I kept blaming myself, I would remain a victim, constantly suffering the effects of the abuse.

This is not said lightly, but try to not be so angry at yourself. The bitterness it brings is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies. You have value beyond your imagination, do not let this sick minded as*hole reduce you to nothing.

My intention is and was not to offend.

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BellaDonna
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29 Jan 2009, 7:34 am

BellaDonna wrote:

Girls are bought up and conditioned to be nice, thats all. When I was growing up - it was don't do this or don't do that or it will upset him. It was always about how men felt and how to act around them - BS.

I have had great difficulty being assertive around men because of that and being sexually abused.

^ I put this statement and then after was put this statement; In my opinion a nice girl is someone who is friendly with a kind nature.
Some of the things you people are describing I would call gushy and insipid, pushovers and sickly sweet people.

Then you put; Yes, quite right. I think each person's definition of nice is dictated by their life experiences, and thus a norm would be hard to determine. I know some pushovers and gushy girls whom I avoid like the plague, they are not nice, or worse, trustworthy.

So I wonder why I felt offended!

However, thankyou for your apology.

TXaspie
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30 Jan 2009, 7:16 am

Fnord wrote:

BellaDonna wrote:

I'm not being stupid but why should good girls have to die - it doesn't make sense.

Every living thing eventually dies ... the good, the bad, the indifferent ... we're all going to die someday, regardless of what we say, do, think, or feel. It's inevitable, so we would do well to enjoy life simply, and be nice to as many people, and as often, as we can.

Because in the end, our entire lives will be represented by a single hyphen between two dates ...

John Hoyer Updike
March 18, 1932 – January 27, 2009

... and that's all there is to it.

It's not as bad as you make it sound to be...Yes show compassion and be nice. But your whole life is not as simply this worthless.

There is meaning and good vibes to experience in life. As long as you live in the present and not the past or future, death doesn't exist.

Life is a dream and death never truely happens, your body dies but you don't.

MishLuvsHer2Boys
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30 Jan 2009, 7:27 am

moonlightwhisp wrote:

Yes that is pretty much my attitude now. I was way too nice before and people walked over me, used and abused me. Now I stand up for myself more. Does that mean I'm mean and not nice, no... it's me being assertive.

yesplease
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