Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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kraftiekortie
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26 May 2020, 8:25 pm

I suppose.....but I still don’t feel the situation is hopeless for “odd” people.



cyberdad
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26 May 2020, 8:31 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I suppose.....but I still don’t feel the situation is hopeless for “odd” people.


agreed, not hopeless....they just need motivation



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26 May 2020, 9:01 pm

cyberdad wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I suppose.....but I still don’t feel the situation is hopeless for “odd” people.
agreed, not hopeless... they just need motivation
It is difficult (if not impossible) to motivate people with clinical depression, especially when they've convinced themselves that their situations are hopeless.  While many seem to appreciate the attention, most seem to ignore or discredit any advice they are given.  The treatment of such people is best left for their doctors, and not to random collections of well-meaning amateurs on social websites.


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cyberdad
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26 May 2020, 10:15 pm

Fnord wrote:
The treatment of such people is best left for their doctors, and not to random collections of well-meaning amateurs on social websites.[/color]


Agreed but the aforementioned random (but well meaning) WP posters can still help reinforce the good work being done by the professionals.



Pepe
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27 May 2020, 12:18 am

Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I suppose.....but I still don’t feel the situation is hopeless for “odd” people.
agreed, not hopeless... they just need motivation
It is difficult (if not impossible) to motivate people with clinical depression, especially when they've convinced themselves that their situations are hopeless.  While many seem to appreciate the attention, most seem to ignore or discredit any advice they are given.  The treatment of such people is best left for their doctors, and not to random collections of well-meaning amateurs on social websites.


Erm, no.
It doesn't hurt to throw ideas around. 8)



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27 May 2020, 12:28 am

Pepe wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
If I was an aspie man here's what I would do:

I would go and volunteer in an animal shelter, or if I was religious I would do something to help the needy that was affiliated to my place of worship or some other cause I was passionate about requiring compassion and empathy . I would express my compassion in a practical sense if I couldn't verbalize it. I would think there would be a fair amount of smart, caring women volunteering also who I could get to know more than superficially for a lengthy period of interaction who would grow to love, my aspie attributes.

That's what I would do.


Yup,
Religious women may be easier pickings. :mrgreen:
My first "girlfriend" was driven by compassion, through her religious indoctrination.

I would also recommend hobby courses and interest groups such as logic classes, bushwalking or arts and crafts, etc, after the CV event.
In the past, I have recommended local autism groups.

Joining an activity which is of interest to "you" is a possible win-win situation. :wink:


Hobby courses are expensive. I’d rather spend $300 on console I can use for years then on one pot making class.


I totally agree.
A console is a much better investment than an erky perky girl-germ infested girlfriend. :mrgreen:
Much, much, much cheaper also. 8O


Eh I didn’t say that. But paying $300 for hobby class won’t lead to a gf. Any women there would likely see I work min wage and pass. So I’d be throwing money away.


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sly279
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27 May 2020, 12:31 am

cyberdad wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I’m an “outlier.” It doesn’t mean I haven’t had success.

There happen to be many odd people out there.


You live in NY Kraftie, the odds are better in terms of numbers

Nyc has millions more women then men. My area has thousands more men then women.
Women in nyc can’t be picky women in my area can.
Unless women here where I live want to do polygamy then there’s going be thousands of men left out.

Goes same for unemployment or housing. If there’s more people looking for work the. Jobs they end up unemployed


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sly279
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27 May 2020, 12:33 am

cyberdad wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The treatment of such people is best left for their doctors, and not to random collections of well-meaning amateurs on social websites.[/color]


Agreed but the aforementioned random (but well meaning) WP posters can still help reinforce the good work being done by the professionals.

Professionals can’t help unless they doing free match making services, but even then they’d probably give up on me too. But those services cost thousands of dollars a month. If I could afford that I wouldn’t have dating problems


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cyberdad
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27 May 2020, 1:16 am

sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The treatment of such people is best left for their doctors, and not to random collections of well-meaning amateurs on social websites.[/color]


Agreed but the aforementioned random (but well meaning) WP posters can still help reinforce the good work being done by the professionals.

Professionals can’t help unless they doing free match making services, but even then they’d probably give up on me too. But those services cost thousands of dollars a month. If I could afford that I wouldn’t have dating problems


You tried overseas/foreign girls?



sly279
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27 May 2020, 1:21 am

cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The treatment of such people is best left for their doctors, and not to random collections of well-meaning amateurs on social websites.[/color]


Agreed but the aforementioned random (but well meaning) WP posters can still help reinforce the good work being done by the professionals.

Professionals can’t help unless they doing free match making services, but even then they’d probably give up on me too. But those services cost thousands of dollars a month. If I could afford that I wouldn’t have dating problems


You tried overseas/foreign girls?

How would I afford to bring them over here? How could I afford to even visit theM?
I don’t want a permanent text relationship


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cyberdad
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27 May 2020, 1:23 am

sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The treatment of such people is best left for their doctors, and not to random collections of well-meaning amateurs on social websites.[/color]


Agreed but the aforementioned random (but well meaning) WP posters can still help reinforce the good work being done by the professionals.

Professionals can’t help unless they doing free match making services, but even then they’d probably give up on me too. But those services cost thousands of dollars a month. If I could afford that I wouldn’t have dating problems


You tried overseas/foreign girls?

How would I afford to bring them over here? How could I afford to even visit theM?
I don’t want a permanent text relationship


Are there Mexican girls in your town? how about Spanish classes?



sly279
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27 May 2020, 1:26 am

cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The treatment of such people is best left for their doctors, and not to random collections of well-meaning amateurs on social websites.[/color]


Agreed but the aforementioned random (but well meaning) WP posters can still help reinforce the good work being done by the professionals.

Professionals can’t help unless they doing free match making services, but even then they’d probably give up on me too. But those services cost thousands of dollars a month. If I could afford that I wouldn’t have dating problems


You tried overseas/foreign girls?

How would I afford to bring them over here? How could I afford to even visit theM?
I don’t want a permanent text relationship


Are there Mexican girls in your town? how about Spanish classes?

Race doesn’t seem to matter when it comes to requiring a man have a good income job.
I’d had thought women on disability, without jobs, basically like me, wouldn’t have cared but I was wrong :(


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Teach51
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27 May 2020, 6:25 am

The evolution of this thread has totally baffled me, this is partly because not being an aspie obviously my thought processing and experience of life is totally different. It suddenly dawned on me what is lacking in these threads.

There are lengthy lamentations regarding demographics and statistics and you all have entangled me in that mindset, so I started thinking which professional women would be compatible with aspies, how you would meet good women but then I realised what was lacking.

Finding a woman, where, how, what nationality is really not the issue.
The common denominator that the married aspies or those in a long term relationship share here, K, Bender, Kraftie, Fnord, you know who they all are, they all have the capacity to project their caring on to others, relate to others lives, express empathy in their own way, overcome difficulties and maintain a long term intimate relationship.

A long term relationship is similar to a career, it's easy enough to begin but sustaining it is the hard part.
Finding the right woman is not like an acquisition, it's not like buying a new computer, finding the right price, design and performance. You order it, bring it home, mission accomplished. Noooooo. A woman wants and needs many things beyond the material aspects of life. So much more.

I am guessing Fnord and Bender and all the guys that have been encouraging the younger guys here for years have said it in every possible way.

I wanted to be a nurse when I was a girl. That was my objective. That was not enough. . That is just a desire . Next I had to convert my desire into a practical strategy. So I went to nursing school, studied anatomy and physiology, all the necessary stuff I am really bad at understanding, I actually hate science because my mind is so disorganised and I have a severe learning disability, but I invested 4 years to achieve my goal. I had to force myself to internalize all these strategies and analyses that my mind refused to understand and process efficiently. A bit like aspies and emotional communication perhaps?

Wanting a relationship will not bring you nearer to having a successful one, it's just a desire, it requires implementing a plan of action in order to fulfill this desire.

Maintaining a relationship requires the ability to feel that another human being is as important as yourself, to think outside yourself make them feel appreciated and valued, learn how to listen and understand them, learn how to adapt to sharing your time and your space. If you begin to do this then your whole experience of human interaction will change, women will sense that you are emotionally present and be able to connect with you. They will find substance to connect to emotionally. Try and develop expressing the care that you feel so deeply internally into an external verbal expression of feeling, even if it is just memorizing phrases that suit the moment. Learn to ask questions if you have no idea how to interpret what your partner is feeling so that they can sense you care. Learn to verbalize your feelings more.

This all demands a great investment of time, effort and determination to achieve your goal but it will assist you in every interpersonal interaction. Nothing suddenly materializes just because we want it, learn how to make the emotional connection in your own unique way, if you can.
:heart:
I promise to let this go now and keep my perhaps misguided advice to myself. :heart:


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27 May 2020, 6:29 am

Teach51 wrote:

That's alright, I know that. Good things can still happen if you are an atheist.


Rational things happen when one is an atheist. 8)



Pepe
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27 May 2020, 6:32 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I’m an “outlier.” It doesn’t mean I haven’t had success.

There happen to be many odd people out there.


Are we talking about belly buttons? :scratch:



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27 May 2020, 6:34 am

Pepe wrote:
Teach51 wrote:

That's alright, I know that. Good things can still happen if you are an atheist.


Rational things happen when one is an atheist. 8)


I'm rational :D I just don't believe in randomality. I don't believe in religion either.


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