Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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The truth is situational depression often becomes chemical depression if it persists over a protracted period of time. I don't think it is every "instantly" fixed, but it can improve over time from changes to the environment.

But that doesn't solve the problem. Not giving the depressed person a chance will make them more depressed. It's a vicious cycle. Even if there is no "right to be loved", it is a basic human need on some level. If someone kills themselves because they are lacking a basic need, I can't exactly argue that they are wrong for doing so. According to you it is hopeless. I love my partner despite her depression. I don't see why the vast majority of humanity can't do this. I don't understand most people. The more I think about it the more I despise them. Also, what the hell does it matter if I'm "less desirable" to the masses. All that matters is finding one person that isn't like the rest of the masses.

It is not always irreversible, that's for sure.

There probably are many causes, but once you fall into the pit, it's hard to get out.

I've been clinically depressed since I was 10 years old - that's when I first overdosed on pills. Kiddy Tylenol, I think. Didn't have much of an effect. Since then I have had good jobs and was married to a great guy. These things didn't get rid of my depression. It's an illness, not a mood.


True. You only need to meet one person who is "right." I'm glad you have a partner.

If you go around actively despising more and more people, those people are going to pick up on that. It's one of the things that makes it hard to be around depressed people, if misanthropy is a component of that depression. No one likes to feel hated, and your contempt for people comes through even in your online interactions (I've certainly felt a lot of contempt from you directed at me, and it is unpleasant). No one is obliged to stick around and be berated to appease your psychological/neurochemical demons, if you're incapable of not projecting your negativity out at other people by way of misanthropy and general contempt for most of the people you interact with. It's not uncommon to lash out at those around you when depressed (Lord knows I did my share of that when I was deeply depressed)--but that doesn't excuse it or justify it, either. If you can't be depressed without being abusive then maybe you need to be by yourself for a while until you figure out how to be depressed around others without actively hating everyone and abusing them because of that hatred and anger. I don't owe you or anyone else to let you emotionally abuse me because you feel bad about yourself and you life. That's not something people owe each other.

I've been that way too. Just so angry all the time. Not surprising though, when suffering from depression. I think people in chronic physical pain experience a similar anger. The pain is there all the time, and other people just go on with their lives. That's really all they can do though.

But isn't it funny how it's actually only specific people (such as yourself) who rub me the wrong way. You ask some people, I'm the nicest person in the world. Maybe you don't believe it, but whatever. I only despise people who are nasty human beings. Unfortunately there are a lot of these in the world. There's no law that says I must like the majority of people in this world. Maybe you should take your own advice as well. Even if you don't say it, it's clear you have your own contempt for those you don't understand.

I also thought you were done talking to me. If you contact moderators in order to demand I don't mention you or reply to you, you yourself should refrain from interacting with me. If you don't I'll do the same as you.

If you will stop accusing me and of lying about understanding depression through my own experience with it, then I will stop defending myself, yes. Just because I found successful treatment for my depression does not mean you get to tell me I can't understand how it feels to be depressed. That's not OK. As long as you keep saying such things, I am going to stand up for myself.

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Alright kids ... who said what to whom first doesn't matter. Just stop making and taking things so personally, please?

It seems that every time a thread evolves into a serious discussion, someone has to come along and derail that thread into a completely different discussion about his or her allegedly hurt feelings.

All of you would be better off to ignore the alleged attacks unless they a obviously directed solely at you.

[/derail]

Unfortunately, most people don't have the ability to deal with someone else's negative emotions. You know that old saying, "Misery loves company" ? It's true to a little extent, especially depending on the personality of the depressed. Most of humanity does not want to "share your misery", so to speak. If there were two people they could opt to spend time with, and one of them was happy, upbeat, positive and the other person was depressed, the vast majority of people aren't going to tell themselves that the depressed person "just needs some love" and volunteer to offer that love. It's not fair, and it's actually really shockingly selfish, but it is what it is.

Also, there are some depressed people who aren't looking for ministering angels, but who go into themselves and isolate themselves due to their depression. I am one such person. Then, there are others who actively look to spread their own unhappiness. For example, I have been clinically depressed since at least age 8 (as far as I can remember), and I am clinically depressed now. I notice that many people can't deal with the intensity of my emotions, and I voluntarily shut down. HOWEVER, my paternal unit who is also depressed (and probably also mentally ill, although he will never admit it) is the type who will act vicious and nasty in an attempt to "share his misery". We are BOTH depressed, but we couldn't be more different from each other. He also has a venomous, vindictive, anti-social and sociopathic personality, so maybe that adds to his need to make other people as miserable as he is. After years of his family members trying to give him "love" in an attempt to cure him of his depression, he is now actively avoided and heartily disliked by most folks, to the extent that I actually have now cut him off. My other family members tolerate him and that's plain sad when your own family merely tolerates you. In fact, he caused my depression by being horrifically abusive to me and vicious in his treatment of me since the time I was hardly 7 years old, so I have no compassion for him whatsoever. Does he need love ? Maybe. Am I willing and able to give it to HIM ? Not just no, but HELL NO.

And it's not just me - others have also said that he is totally "unlovable". I don't know if his personality became unworthy of affection because he developed depression, or if his personality is the cause of his depression. Either way, most folks can't stand to be around him for more than a few minutes. He "needs love" but he is impossible to "love". I am just as isolated as he is, but not because I don't want to be around people (far from it, actually) but I voluntarily isolate myself because my negative emotions preclude me from contributing anything of use to anyone else in my life.

As for all depressed people "needing" love, sorry, I don't seek or need "love". I seek my life situation to get better, so that my emotions are in a better place.

I also want to address the claim that depression is "reversible" once the cause is removed. NOT so easy, and not so fast. I haven't seen or heard from my paternal unit - the whole and sole cause of my clinical depression until my son's diagnosis - since 2014. Am I, therefore, LESS depressed ? Nope, because the horrific abuse and the criminal treatment that he meted out to me has meant that my situational childhood depression has since transformed into chemical depression and will likely remain that way for the rest of my life.

I wish people wouldn't lighten or lessen the impact of depression on those who suffer from it. I also honestly wish that it were as easy as popping a pill or seeing a therapist or removing the cause from the equation for depression to magically get better. I am sure therapists and medications help some folks, but they have done nothing for me. Nor did getting rid of the cause help me. His abuse was so bad that the impact will probably stay with me for the rest of my life, long after he's dead and gone.

I never said you don't understand depression. Depression is a very broadly defined illness anyways. No two depressed people are exactly alike. The issue is you don't understand other people's unique circumstances. You seem to talk down from a pedestal towards certain people because of their gender. You constantly jump down people's throat over the most trivial nonsense. Maybe you don't even realize it. I honestly don't know. It's just ridiculous that you're so sensitive to criticism when you can so easily dish it out to others.

I don't think any depressed person expects someone else to share in their misery. That's something people who don't understand depression tend to pull out of their ass. I can also opt not to care for the vast majority of people. I don't need them, and they don't need me. I will look for the minority of people who know how to care and forget about the rest.


Most depressed people aren't that unfortunate person. Most respond positively to someone who shows they care. I don't see how isolating yourself for the sake of others is going to help you. Sometimes you have to be a little more selfish and less self-flagellating, like the majority of people. Also, isn't believing you have absolutely nothing to contribute completely counterproductive. I mean, I can almost guarantee it's BS.


More likely you're just afraid of getting hurt. Sorry. That doesn't mean you don't need love.


I understand this. My depression is chemical as well. It didn't start from any specific event. It came on gradually in my teens. I think it's a scientific fact that isolation makes depression worse and hinders any improvement.


I'm sorry you haven't found anything that helps. Medication helps me a little, but it also causes additional problems. I think staying away from this topic would help me. Virtually everything androbot01 keeps repeating is making me worse. Maybe she's right about negativity making things worse. I'm not going to be negative in that way though. I'd rather fight stigma than be a part of it.

That's not my intention.

And if you were referring to me with your comment that it's BS that a person can have nothing to contribute, I said contribute to a relationship specifically - not that one has nothing to contribute at all. One can be without a partner and still be of value to society.

Now you're just lying. You explicitly said that you didn't believe I had ever been depressed in that other thread. You flat out said it was unbelievable that I had ever been depressed before. Don't sink to the level of actually lying about what you said when anyone can search your posting history and see you calling me a f*****g b***h and saying there was no way I have ever been depressed. Don't pretend you didn't say those things. Unless the mods have actually gone back and edited your comments, it's right there for people to see for themselves.

I reacted the way I did because you were being abusive to someone else in the haven. Are you really too stupid to figure that out? I didn't know you had depression. I was wrong. That's not even the real issue though.

You continue to put forth in this very thread about people who happen to make the same argument that I have: "They act as if they're completely neurotypical, no mental health problems, etc...". These are your own words from page 43 of this very thread. It was obvious you were speaking of me and Androbot, that because of our opinions about relationships not being a bandaid for depression we must not be autistic or have ever been depressed. You have a very skewed perception of who is abusing who here, and who is clearly being dishonest about their own comments.