Slys dating site advice help thread.

Post Reply New Topic

My human right to self defense being stripped from me leaving me defenselsss as well as taking way one mean special interest and one of the few things in my life I enjoy would be devastating to me I’d likely never leave my house and worry about being hurt in a real in. Guns even the playing field for people like me When thenthreat has weapons.

But no I’d not expect a Canadian raised under anti gun propaganda to understand.

Maybe you should just accept th only thing that’d make me happy and compempt is a relationship. Maybe we just are at all similar and yiu have no idea what your talking about when it comes to me. I’m not some goldfish clone. And see you keep ignoring anything I do. It’s insulting to me. It’s why. Don’t think anything I do will ever make a difference to women, just like you they’re only look at what I’m not doing.

Adults can’t get adhd meds in my area as they treat anyone seeking them as a criminal drug abuser despite having a freaking adhd dianisos they think only kids can have adhd and when you turn 18 it just magically disappears.

People are free to defend themselves from harm w/o a gun or other weapon. If someone were to attack me, I'd defend myself & possibly beat the crap out of them. Guns aren't a requirement for self defence.

People have guns in Canada, too. We're just not gun nuts shooting each other all the time like happens in the USA. For the most part, only drug gangs shoot at each other here & people don't go shoot up schools or public places very often at all. It's not that we don't have any guns here, we do, we just don't go shooting each other anywhere near as often. There's no anti-gun propaganda, there just isn't a massive pro-gun ownership population that cheers on guns, guns, guns, and more guns for the sake of more guns. We recognize what happens when a society has so many guns.. more people get shot. Point & case: The United States of America. Way more guns, way more people get shot. So, we tend to just be of the attitude that we don't have to have one in every home like it's a necessity. Those who want to own guns still can & do, it's just not a cultural thing where everyone in the country is so crazy about owning one. Gun ownership is probably a lot higher in rural areas for hunting etc.

Maybe you should accept that dealing with your depressed thoughts will make you happier & that your codependence on having a relationship in order to experience happiness is unhealthy. Maybe you should also accept the ~50 pages of advice, at your request at that, and do something/anything to make yourself more datable instead of wishing women would desire undesirable men. It's infinitely easier to change just one person, yourself, instead of the whole world.

You haven't really shared anything about anything you're doing to try to improve yourself. You share that you're suicidally depressed & you ignore peoples' advice or refute it with some ridiculous reason why it can't possibly do any good for you so you're unwilling to even try it. You've been doing the same thing for the last ~5 years or so I've been reading your posts. Of course people take note of all the things you aren't doing, because they're making the connections between the things you're unwilling to do & the fact that you're not getting the results you want by not doing them. Pretty simple stuff, sly.

I've definitely heard of doctors declining prescription narcotics to med seekers, but I have never heard of an age limit for adhd prescriptions. I'd imagine they'd screen people stricter & make sure they did in fact have symptoms that could be treated by the medication before prescribing it, but an all out ban over age 18? I find that difficult to believe. Maybe one or two doctors have that attitude towards it, but I can't imagine it's state wide policy. Do you have any links to information about it? I know people in China can't get adhd meds - they can only be prescribed for weight loss. In China, adhd is basically believed to be the result of bad parenting. Personally, I think they're all f*****g wrong and it's the result of intestinal imbalances caused by diet & antibiotic use and other factors, but whatever.

Firstly I do to but you just ignore it as it doesn’t uspport your bias.

2ndly I never said it’s s ban, I said they won’t give them to adults. There’s nothing legally stopping them. It’s their own bias, most places won’t even see adults with adhd only kids. MY medical refuses to give them, and it’s hard to get to see a psychiatrist , it requires seeing a therapist first and I tried thst but he just wanted to be rid of me and never let me see the a psychiatrist. I’d understand if I wasn’t diagnosised but I am. I was on the drugs as a kid. I stopped taking them cause I was a stupid rebellious kid otherwise I’d still been on them.

It's not my bias that most of your posts are in a depressive distorted view &/or directly referencing your own depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts & feelings.

The ONE thing I've seen you post about doing to benefit yourself is trying to lose weight, and I replied to it, & commended that effort. Working towards a healthy body composition is good. Keep doing that.

Meanwhile you've had nearly countless recommendations from people to deal with your depression et al and you either shoot it down or ignore it completely and carry on posting depressive thoughts in what seems like hopes of eliciting some sympathetic replies from others. Why continue doing that over and over and over again? Doesn't make sense. Can't be fun for you, either, not if you're genuinely nearly constantly in a state of wanting your life to end.

Sly, if it helps, I'd like you to know you're not the worst guy out there and have definitely more chances to find women than me.

You have some kind of a job and have graduated from a school after preschool; I have never had a real job and have been unsuccessful to graduate from all my previous schools with a chance of hope that I'd graduate from my current one. This means I've always been poor and haven't been able to afford things like travelling, getting a car or a drivers license or anything else pretty much than food and clothes and occasional video games.

You have been able to lose 30 pounds of weight; I have been overweight since 18 and all of my attempts to lose the extra ~40 pounds of weight I have have failed so far. I just started again since the beginning of this year and have been able to lose a few pounds in that time but keeping this up for a long time is going to be really tough.

You have probably had more luck with women too, I am still a virgin who has never had a real girlfriend and is considered pretty much undatable because of being fat, unemployed and uneducated introverted video game geek.

Hope this makes you appreciate what you have and know that there's always someone out there with things even more screwed up than yours.

^ See Sly? There's always someone worse off.

Anyway, having a girlfriend doesn't mean you won't be depressed. I know from experience that it's possible to feel depressed while having a girlfriend. Heck I have a girlfriend and I feel depressed right now.

Take that as proof that a partner won't solve all your problems.

BOOM!

Those two posts nailed it. Again.

So, 50 pages of advice, sly. What're your favourite pieces of advice in this thread and which are you going to act on?

You have done really well to loose any weight at this time of year. January is a tough month to get through all round. How much daylight do you get at the moment in your part of Finland?

Sorry if this is a bit personal but I know people in relationships can be depressed but do you mean you are depressed about/due to problems in the relationship or that's mostly good but your depressed anyway.

I'm wondering whether being in a relationship, if it is mostly going well, does help us feel better about things. A bad relationship would definitely make us worse but could a good one help.

The days are mostly dark all day here as it's almost always cloudy also during winter, this doesn't affect me much though since I've a tendency to stay awake in the night and have my rooms curtains closed always. And January is pretty much the most stereotypical month to lose weight as that's when all the new years resolutioners are swearing they will lose the weight this year, only to fall back to their old habits in a few weeks or less.. I have no thought of quitting yet though and don't really crave for any unhealthy foods right now so I'm hopeful I can stick through losing the weight this time.

Good for you, I lost a lot of weight when I was 27, it's a good age to do it at. I never do New Year's Day resolutions because it's my birthday

I'm not usually depressed due to relationship problems. Most of the time when I get depressed it's just a general sort of depression, not specifically caused by relationship problems.

Like virtually all people in relationships. Sometimes people simply get depressed, whether single or partnered. It's a part of life. But it's also a point being made in this thread to sly that being in a relationship does not automatically mean being happy & unable to experience depression - and the reason for that is that happiness, or a lack of depression, is Not the result of being in a relationship. Sly's distorted thinking makes him believe the opposite is true.

It does if the reason ones depressed is not being in a relationship.

Cause and effect. My depression is solely from being alone and single if I was in a relationship I wouldn’t be depressed.

Similarly if someone’s depressed they unemployed getting a job makes them happy.

If your depressed about other things then a relationship won’t make you happy but I’m fine with my life besides being single my depression isn’t from my job car status or other things it’s from being lonely and unloved so I’d be a lot happier in a relationship.

50 pages in and you're still ignoring the simple fact that it's only our own thoughts that can make us feel depressed, that whether in or out of a relationship one can have depressive thoughts - or happy thoughts.

Also, there's the whole chicken-egg thing going on. No one wants to date a suicidally depressed person. It's unattractive. So, many people have recommended you treat your depression and get it under control in order to be a more attractive, more datable, person. Yet you continue to ignore that advice for some unknown reason. Bizarre!

IF by some miracle you had a relationship start this very moment, you might be happy with that, but I can guarantee it's not going to be some panacea that instantly cures your depressed world view & frame of mind. There are, however, several different treatment options that can help, you just have to be willing to do them. Learning from books, talking to counsellors/therapists, putting yourself through written therapy exercises, dietary changes, pharmaceuticals or other medicines, physical exercise, meditation etc etc etc. There are many paths to better thoughts, & in turn, emotions. You just have to try a variety, or combination, of things until you find what works for you.

But no, sly has the world's only case of depression that is 100% caused by being single and can only be treated by a girlfriend who can magically bestow happiness upon him. He's the only human being who's emotions aren't dictated by the thoughts he thinks, too. How 'bout that sly, you're 1 in 7.6 Billion!! ! Impressive feat!

I don't know what causes depression but I find that the depressed mind will find stuff to be sad about and then it will seem like that stuff is the cause of depression.

Before I was depressed and unemployed so it seemed like I was depressed because I was unemployed. Before I was depressed and single so it seemed like I was depressed because I was single.

What really happened was I was depressed due to some chemical imbalance in the brain, so I thought sad thoughts about stuff in my life, so it seemed as though that stuff was the cause of depression.

Now, with a $28 dollar per hour job and a loving girlfriend I can still get depressed without warning.

You could have all the things you want in life and still get depressed. Do you think rich people don't get depressed? What about married rich people? Do you think they don't get depressed?

Also, before you think a relationship is the final solution to your emotional problems remember that relationships are not guaranteed to last forever.

You could have a relationship that ends after a few months and if you thought all your happiness resulted from that relationship you're setting yourself up for the mother of all breakdowns when it ends.

You can save yourself from this fate. If you can figure out how to be happy before the relationship, then you can more easily be happy after the relationship ends.