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I don't understand why I can't get a woman! [! SATIRE !]

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funeralxempire
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03 Apr 2024, 11:56 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
The reason why women don’t want me is because I’m not hot or rich. That’s all women care about, so I don’t even bother at this point although I’m not gonna stop complaining about it. :evil:


This makes me realize I must have once been hot because I've never been rich. :lol:


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03 Apr 2024, 11:56 pm

Just leave your door unlocked and play video games in nothing but your underwear.  She's bound to walk right in after following the trail of cool vibes you've been laying down every time you level up.


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03 Apr 2024, 11:57 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
The reason why women don’t want me is because I’m not hot or rich. That’s all women care about, so I don’t even bother at this point although I’m not gonna stop complaining about it. :evil:


Stand in a sauna until you're so hot you sweat!


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TwilightPrincess
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04 Apr 2024, 12:00 am

funeralxempire wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
The reason why women don’t want me is because I’m not hot or rich. That’s all women care about, so I don’t even bother at this point although I’m not gonna stop complaining about it. :evil:


This makes me realize I must have once been hot because I've never been rich. :lol:

You must be a hot, alpha male. It’s not fair. :evil:

Everything is so “woke” these days, I can’t even get a drunk woman. I could try college again, but what’s the point? I’m not hot enough to get a girlfriend anyway.



TwilightPrincess
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04 Apr 2024, 12:01 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
The reason why women don’t want me is because I’m not hot or rich. That’s all women care about, so I don’t even bother at this point although I’m not gonna stop complaining about it. :evil:


Stand in a sauna until you're so hot you sweat!

Would that help me get a girlfriend?



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04 Apr 2024, 12:04 am

Some guy on YouTube said so, even though he hasn't tried it himself. ^


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TwilightPrincess
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04 Apr 2024, 12:04 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Some guy on YouTube said so, even though he hasn't tried it himself. ^

It sounds like something I should try.



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04 Apr 2024, 12:06 am

You could also try burning the ends of your hair.
Nothing says hot like a little char.


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funeralxempire
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04 Apr 2024, 12:08 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
The reason why women don’t want me is because I’m not hot or rich. That’s all women care about, so I don’t even bother at this point although I’m not gonna stop complaining about it. :evil:


This makes me realize I must have once been hot because I've never been rich. :lol:

You must be a hot, alpha male. It’s not fair. :evil:

Everything is so “woke” these days, I can’t even get a drunk woman. I could try college again, but what’s the point? I’m not hot enough to get a girlfriend anyway.


In the right room anyone can be an alpha.

Even me. :lol:


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


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04 Apr 2024, 12:11 am

funeralxempire wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
The reason why women don’t want me is because I’m not hot or rich. That’s all women care about, so I don’t even bother at this point although I’m not gonna stop complaining about it. :evil:


This makes me realize I must have once been hot because I've never been rich. :lol:

You must be a hot, alpha male. It’s not fair. :evil:

Everything is so “woke” these days, I can’t even get a drunk woman. I could try college again, but what’s the point? I’m not hot enough to get a girlfriend anyway.


In the right room anyone can be an alpha.

Even me. :lol:

I spend most of my time in my bedroom watching porn.



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04 Apr 2024, 12:20 am

Remind all the women you know that no other women like you.
Describe the reasons repeatedly.
Maybe they'll feel compelled to defend you.


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TwilightPrincess
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04 Apr 2024, 12:45 am

Mentally compare and contrast her body parts with those of previous girlfriends/partners and share the results with her.



IsabellaLinton
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04 Apr 2024, 12:46 am

Make a running commentary about her weight fluctuations every time you see her.

My ex did that in front of his family.

It really kept me accountable.


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funeralxempire
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04 Apr 2024, 1:36 am

I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


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04 Apr 2024, 1:39 am

Tamper with the brakes on her car so she'll crash.
Keep a First Aid kit ready.
Better yet, give her mouth-to-mouth.


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04 Apr 2024, 3:33 am

Did you know that you can slipstream an alpha dawg as he makes his approach on a hot piece of ass? His muscles and money will temporarily distract the honeys from your obvious deficiencies allowing you to get close and while you won't have a chance at the top prize you might get lucky with her fat, ugly friend.


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