Bigotry against involuntarily celibate men

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Hollywood_Guy
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28 Nov 2018, 7:20 pm

Fnord wrote:

magnetowasright wrote:

... no social skills ... extreme anxiety ... autism ... cannot get a decent job ... always broke ... don't have any family (to help me when things do go wrong) ... very few friends ... owe tens of thousands of dollars ... no means of paying ... my credit score is in the toilet ... fat ... average looking at best ... a high pitched voice ... everyone mistake me for a woman ... can't even grow a proper beard...

With all of those causes going against you, why do you think that there is bigotry against you for being celibate?

Both the bigotry and the celibacy are correlative effects of the causes you mentioned.

I don't think it's always fair to blame single men for bitterness. What may seem like misogyny is really the response born from radical feminism and it's wider-scale influence. It doesn't have much to do with genuine hate for the other gender.

sly279
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28 Nov 2018, 7:27 pm

Fnord wrote:

magnetowasright wrote:

Fnord wrote:

magnetowasright wrote:

With all of those causes going against you, why do you think that there is bigotry against you for being celibate? Both the bigotry and the celibacy are correlative effects of the causes you mentioned.

I was specifically referring to attitudes of calling people like me names like "loser" or declaring that all lonely men are misogynists, specifically because of our single status.

The only "losers" are those who have given up.

Never give up.

Work on the things you can improve, and worry about the others later.

Losers to most everyone is anyone who fails to succeed. Doesn’t matter to most if they trying or not.

kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2018, 7:33 pm

If one can do a few things to improve themselves, that would enable them to do other things to improve themselves.

Sometimes, one has to take it "one step at a time."

I bet Sly could do better, perhaps work full-time, in a less-pressured environment than where he works now.

magnetowasright
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28 Nov 2018, 7:38 pm

Fnord wrote:

magnetowasright wrote:

Fnord wrote:

magnetowasright wrote:

With all of those causes going against you, why do you think that there is bigotry against you for being celibate? Both the bigotry and the celibacy are correlative effects of the causes you mentioned.

I was specifically referring to attitudes of calling people like me names like "loser" or declaring that all lonely men are misogynists, specifically because of our single status.

The only "losers" are those who have given up.

Never give up.

Work on the things you can improve, and worry about the others later.

Except I'm not immortal. The longer I wait, the older I get.

Plus, the older I get, the more "experience" I'm expected to bring to the table. In other words: the longer I'm single, the les attractive I become.

The reality is that it's too late for me. I'm way past the point where it was possible for any woman to find me attractive. I am beyond hope.

sly279
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28 Nov 2018, 7:55 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Most would tell you retail work is less stressful jobs there are since they meant for kids

There’s no other work for me but retail, and if I could work 8 hours it’d be 12 hour shifts with travel.

Unless you have the complete package it doesn’t matter

sly279
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28 Nov 2018, 7:56 pm

magnetowasright wrote:

Fnord wrote:

magnetowasright wrote:

Fnord wrote:

magnetowasright wrote:

With all of those causes going against you, why do you think that there is bigotry against you for being celibate? Both the bigotry and the celibacy are correlative effects of the causes you mentioned.

I was specifically referring to attitudes of calling people like me names like "loser" or declaring that all lonely men are misogynists, specifically because of our single status.

The only "losers" are those who have given up.

Never give up.

Work on the things you can improve, and worry about the others later.

Same
I’ve been rejected for not having had relationships. It’s a giant red flag to most women and if not it’ll be to their friends who tell them to avoid such men

Same reason employers refuse people with years of unemployment

kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2018, 7:58 pm

I work 12 hour days, with a 1 to 2 hour commute each way (depending on whether the trains screw up, and whether I drive part of the way).

I'm not saying you should do this. I wish you could have gotten into auto mechanics or something. Could you become knowledgeable enough about guns to become a gun shop counterperson?

sly279
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28 Nov 2018, 8:08 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Mechanics is a horrible field for aspies

As for guns I have lots of knowledge it no experience and they won’t hire anyone with out 2 years experience selling guns
Since no one will hire me I can’t get experience. Eventually all the guys with experience will die and then i dont know what. Same with plumbers and machinists they won’t hire without experience but if they don’t train people then their won’t be any future ones.

kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2018, 8:11 pm

You work in a place, Sly, that would never exist in New York City LOL

I actually find it a trip that you work there.

I get the feeling you do a pretty good job; otherwise, they would probably have fired you long ago.

cberg
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28 Nov 2018, 8:16 pm

This is more about ignorance than bigotry, even though they can be one & the same.

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IsabellaLinton
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28 Nov 2018, 8:18 pm

sly279 wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I'm curious about your statement that mechanics is a horrible field for aspies? All of the men on my father's side of the family including my brother have been engineers including mechanical engineers, and they've all been excellent at auto mechanics. One even designed huge roller coasters throughout the UK. All of these men were autistic to the best of my understanding. My mother's father was also very aspie and he was an aeronautical engineer. Just piping in some food for thought, although I know you aren't a trained engineer.

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kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2018, 8:20 pm

I believe he's a trained auto mechanic, though.

cberg
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28 Nov 2018, 8:23 pm

I'm a self-trained engineer. There is no greater turn-off.

Technical skill just creates fear, uncertainty & doubt surrounding one's persona because our society places almost no value on it save for a hefty monetary one.

IsabellaLinton
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28 Nov 2018, 8:28 pm

cberg wrote:

What do you mean it's a turn-off? For whom? Potential partners? Why?
I don't feel that way at all. I know quite a few women who would love a boyfriend with a tool belt. lol. I mean that sincerely. They like men who can fix things and be stereotypically "masculine".

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kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2018, 8:28 pm

Some women happen to REALLY dig those are into engineering and computers.

RetroGamer87
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28 Nov 2018, 8:33 pm

sly279 wrote:

Most would tell you retail work is less stressful jobs there are since they meant for kids

Whoever said kids can't be subjected to stress? We already put them through stressful exams that could determine their entire future so what's the harm in giving them some more stress. They're young and healthy and energetic so maybe they can take it. Maybe it's the middle aged and elderly who have less capacity to deal with stress.

Or perhaps that's just self-serving logic from the middle-aged and older people who run the world, who want to give the most unpleasant jobs to anyone but themselves.

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